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“What the hell, Rhett?” Indignation radiated over the cell’s speaker. “I would never touch another woman outside your presence—no matter how hot she is.”
My insides settled in one way but twisted in another.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, scowling at the cement wall I faced. “I’m just…” I trailed off, refusing to break down like an undisciplined weakling.
Ash let out an audible exhale. “I love you more than anything on this earth.”
“I love you too,” I murmured, tipping my head back and closing my eyes. “And if she’s what you’ve been searching for, then allow things to progress organically like you said you wanted. If that means kissing her good night, then do it.”
Fuck, it made my chest ache to give him my blessing.
“You wouldn’t mind?”
Yes.
“No.”
“I’m not going to rush into anything.” He attempted to soothe me again when I thought I’d successfully hidden my feelings from him.
I trusted Ash thoroughly, in every aspect of our relationship and in business, but I also knew how deeply the loss of his brother, survivor’s guilt, and the pressure put on him by his father to carry on the Blackwood name drove him.
Ridiculous in my opinion, but it mattered to him, and I accepted it without argument.
He struggled with self-worth, wanting to prove he was good enough to provide an heir even though I assured him almost daily he was perfect in every way.
But uncertainty and my need for control battled with my love for him.
He already rushed forward, blinders without a doubt keeping him from seeing any warning signs.
“Please be careful, baby,” I said, every word bleeding from my heart.
“I will be, but if anything changes with your mom and dad, please call me so I can be there for you.”
“I will,” I promised, somewhat soothed by his insistence even though I wouldn’t ever allow him to face what I did. “Love you, baby.”
“Love you too, Rhett. So damn much.” The softness in his voice swept over me like a soft caress, one I wanted to sink into and take comfort in.
We hung up a few seconds later, and I sat in silence once more, the line between us severed.
He was going to meet a potential mother for his children in less than twenty-four hours, and I wouldn’t be by his side. I feared his inability to make a smart decision faced with a woman who seemed too good to be true—his words, not mine.
“Shit.”
What if she was? What if the fact she could give him the one thing I couldn’t turned his focus fully on her? Would I be left behind? Alone and heartbroken because I was no longer enough for him?
My guts clenched up tight, twisting into a tight knot.
Sweat beads broke across my forehead as my mouth went dry.
“Fuck that.” Lips set in a grim line, I pulled my ass from the car and headed to my hotel room to change.
Since Ash wasn’t around to help relieve my stress, the gym would offer my muscles the burn and exhaustion I needed in order to pass out and forget the shit of my current life.
And in the morning, I would once more attempt to talk my father into letting his wife go so I could hop a plane and get back to Ash before he went and gave part of his heart away.
10
Ashton