Page 7

Ash pushed up onto an elbow, meeting my gaze. “And if we can’t find the right fit, someone who will agree to remain in our child’s life after they’re born?”
He dreamed of a mother like his own, constantly available with warm hugs, open ears, and loving smooches on boo-boos. He also wanted someone like his brother had been—happy and full of life until his had gotten snuffed out.
I preferred quiet and reserved, a lady. One who wouldn’t bring drama to our future and co-parent from a distance, just like our dating app profile showed we searched for.
“We’ll find her,” I promised.
“That’s what you said about our app.”
I bit my tongue, but Ash read my stiffened body like an open book.
“Sorry. That was uncalled for,” he whispered to soothe away the sting his words had caused. “I shouldn’t take my disappointment out on you. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.” He laid back down, his cheek on my chest where it always was when we cuddled in bed while awake.
I kissed the top of his head, letting him know I forgave him, and he settled in without another word.
My mind continued to move as though hyped on caffeine, keeping me awake long after he slept.
Meant to be, he’d murmured.
Ash had used those words the first time we’d kissed, that day my dreams of playing football on the iron grid lay in shatters. Literally. I’d been taken down by three guys, my lower leg snapping in more than one place.
Ash had snuck into my bedroom, in the middle of the night, wrapping me in his arms while I sprawled out stiff and unmoving, refusing to break down in weakness.
His warmth had breathed life back inside my chest, and I’d eventually leaned into him, drew strength from him for the first time in our friendship.
His close presence had always tingled awareness through my body, but it wasn’t until he had pressed his lips to my cheek that I recognized what he stirred inside me.
Desire. Longing for more than mere friendship.
“Rhett,” he had whispered, his voice thick as though experiencing the same thing making every inch of my body begin to burn with need.
I’d pulled back to see him in the light of my bedside lamp, desperate to observe, to know.
Hazel eyes welling, he had studied my face, stalling out on my mouth.
Raw, hot arousal had shot through me like a well-aimed spiraling football, ripping the air from my lungs.
We’d moved as though of the same mind, magnets as always.
Our first kiss, the crush of lips, the sharing of air—one of the most profound and real moments in my entire life.
“Zing,” he had murmured against my mouth, making me snicker. “We were meant to be, Rhett Stirling. Forever.”
I hadn’t argued since he’d beautifully vocalized the feelings coursing inside me, something I still struggled to do.
My insides a churning mess, I stared at the ceiling of our bedroom while Ash clung to me and breathed heavily in peaceful slumber.
Failure equaled weakness in my mind, but I looked forward to taking the next step where Ash would remain mine—and only mine as he’d always been.
My chest tightened over the excitement and yet I frowned, wondering how Ash would suffer if the surrogate mother didn’t fulfill his hopes to stay in our child’s life after birth.
A fuckton of emotion rolled through me, none of which I could handle or make disappear.
No way in hell would I allow my Ash to feel pain or disappointment if I could help it. He wanted a woman involved as a mother in the day-to-day living of his children, which wouldn’t happen with surrogacy.
Said woman would need to live with us. There was no other option. Knowing Ash, he would adore her for fulfilling his dreams, and as affectionate as he was, I had no doubt their relationship wouldn’t remain platonic. Eventually, a bond would solidify, and she would end up in our bed because I wouldn’t be able to say no if gifted the opportunity to sink into a warm, wet pussy.
Unconditional love demanded a change, another chance, different from what I had done in taking the reins to keep on my course like a selfish asshole.