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“He was awake when they brought him back from the scan,” she said with rushed, exhaled words as though she’d been holding her breath.
I started to stand, but she put her hand on my shoulder, stopping me.
“He’s fine for now and told me to come be with you. Can I sit?” She motioned toward the empty chair opposite me.
I settled back in mine, nodding, actually thankful for the interruption of my introspection. “No results yet?”
“No.”
“How did he seem to you?”
A soft smile curved her lips. “A little drunk.”
“Yeah, that’s the meds.” I held her gaze, the clatter of the cafeteria around us quieting in my mind. “I’m sorry for being an asshole,” I murmured, meaning every goddamn word.
I’d have apologized even without Ash’s demand I make amends with her.
Pink flushed her cheeks, and she opened her mouth, but I wasn’t done yet. It was well past time for me to spew all the thoughts inside me as she so often did.
“I’ve been overwhelmed with jealousy since we came back from Florida. I’ve never had to share Ash with anyone outside of physical interactions, and I took that shit out on you instead of being truthful about my feelings.”
“I forgive you,” she stated simply.
“Easy as that?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
She shrugged a shoulder and smiled, and a hint of sunshine in her eyes seemed to trickle over my soul like warm water.
“You’re so goddamn beautiful, Skylar. I’m sorry I haven’t been telling you that every day. You make Ash happy, which truthfully, brought me contentment from day one even if I refused to acknowledge it out of sheer stubbornness and self-preservation.
“But there have been so many other emotions I’ve never named,” I continued, “haven’t allowed myself to be aware of. I grew up in a very repressed household.”
“Ash told me,” she stated quietly, her eyes without pity or judgment.
“My upbringing isn’t an excuse for the way I’ve chosen to behave my entire adulthood, but I’ve caused others to suffer for fear of ridicule. I’m not saying I’ll be able to change overnight, that I had a single aha moment that will turn my life around with one decision, but I’m determined to be more self-aware.”
“You’re amazing, Rhett.” Skylar reached over the table and snagged one of my hands still wrapped around my coffee cup.
My throat tightened for the fifty-thousandth time in less than twenty-four hours as I wound my fingers through hers. That warmth expanded through my center like a life-giving force, and I studied her face, drinking her in.
Dark circles lay beneath her eyes, those long auburn lashes naturally curling in an enticing way. The bloodshot red through the whites of her eyes only heightened the green.
There were no pretenses with Skylar, no fake smiles in that moment attempting to put me at ease. She simply held my hand and let me just be.
“What are you feeling right now?” she whispered when the silence between us grew and her backside shifted on the seat.
A smile curved my lips at her usual ants-in-the-pants inability to sit still. I rubbed my thumb over the back of hers, causing her lips to part.
Fuck, did I love how she wanted my thoughts and was interested in my inner workings. She’d proven in that hallway that she wouldn’t invalidate them as my parents had always done either.
I didn’t deserve a tenth chance, but I sure as fuck was going to take it.
“I’m scared as fuck for Ash’s test results,” I admitted, releasing some tension in my chest, “but strangely at peace too.”
I didn’t tell her that Ash wanted me to love her, cling to her when he was gone, because his death wasn’t going to happen for many years down the road.
“I’m scared too.” Skylar swallowed audibly and glanced around the cafeteria, wetness welling in her eyes. “I’ve only just met him—you—and I’m terrified that it’ll be too late to make his dreams come true. I failed in getting pregnant—”
“It’s not your fault, Skylar,” I stated quietly.