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The bed dipped.
Ash’s warm hand settled on my shoulder, but I remained unmoving, feigning sleep since I had zero capacity to communicate or even name what I wanted or how I felt about his actions in the living room.
The mattress shifted, and I listened as the two of them got all comfy for the night. Probably snuggling face to face and sharing breath.
Unable to help myself, I rolled and wrapped my arm around Ash’s waist, pulling his back against me tight as though…desperate.
Other words to describe the shit coursing through me flitted through my mind, but I slammed the door shut.
I forced my muscles to relax—but I refused to reach out and touch Skylar too.
No discussion took place around Skylar’s moving into our bed, but a week passed, and she slept there every night, Ash snuggled between us.
I hadn’t touched her since that one time we fucked in the living room, but since I couldn’t deny Ash fully, I told them I wanted to watch. I had his ass once while he was balls deep in Skylar, but his focus had been on her again.
No morning blow jobs from the mouth I missed on my body. No familiar hands washing me in the shower. No more passionate kisses that ended with us fucking over the couch or against a kitchen cabinet in our insatiable need for one another.
I was feeling left out, my insides pouting like a toddler on the verge of throwing a temper tantrum. Communicating my emotions didn’t come easy for me, and I fought to find a way how to show Ash what went down inside me. I wouldn’t act out like a child, but the ability to express what I endured eluded me.
But even if I’d found them, I wouldn’t unveil my frailty.
“I’m fine,” I stated firmly whenever he asked if I was okay or what was bothering me.
But I wasn’t. Far fucking from it.
Exactly seven days after the night I fucked her, I had Ash to myself in the office for a meeting along with our secretary. We were supposed to be discussing our latest investment in a startup software company, but I couldn’t focus.
“Rhett.”
I glanced up from the pen in my hand I hadn’t realized I stared at. “Hmm?”
“Did you hear a word I just said?”
My attention flitted to our secretary Louise. “Sorry. I’m a little…preoccupied.”
His hand twitched like he wanted to reach over my desk and lace our fingers together.
My chest tightened—throat thickened—and I coughed slightly, bottling up my longing from his recognizable movement.
“Louise,” Ash murmured, “would you give us a few?”
“Of course.” She set her legal pad aside and left us alone.
The silence sat heavy in the air, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
“I know you think you’re fine, but it’s obvious you aren’t. Do you need to talk about your mom?” Ash asked, empathy lacing his tone. “You weren’t close, but loss is never easy.”
I fought the desire to toss my pen down at his obvious blindness. “I’m not grieving her death.”
“Then what’s bothering you? You’ve been…closed off. I figured it was because of her passing.”
A muscle ticked in my jaw. The fact he didn’t see the problem, didn’t discern how Skylar’s imposing on our lives had changed the dynamic between us, hurt almost as bad as his ignoring me.
“You don’t have to tell me how you’re feeling,” Ash said quietly. “Just state cold facts so I can at least help you put to rest whatever is going on.”
“Skylar.” I managed to say her name without a bite in my voice.
“What about her?”