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But doesn’t she need a teensy-weensy bit of help? If she was evil, I have no doubt she would be crushing the life out of this planet. Since she’s not…

Not evil.

This new reality is taking longer to get used to than before. I don’t like it. I want to follow her and cuddle up for nap time, but I know she won’t let me.

I can still smell her terror from earlier, and I caused it. I just wanted everything to be perfect when she came home, and I ruined it. Mitri could have told me tostop, not that I would have listened or anything. It’s half his fault. Halfsies on the blame for this one, Hubby #2.

“You idiots! You can’t show a trauma victim the instruments they used to torture her!”

Who hurt my wifey? They were all good tools, practical, and now on fire in a barbecue pit outside.

Did someone crush out her evil before I got to her? Was it Ken? Nah, he saidthey. Besides, that Human was too sappy for torturing a little girl. Just like me. Kits are special cases. They don’t get touched. Even if you know they’re going to be world-shattering evil.

Not evil.

Did I fall asleep on my feet?

I haven’t done that since I was set on boundary duty as a kit. Snoozing with your eyes open is a unique skill, and I’m ranked at 100% on it.

Nobody has moved, but Ben is rummaging around in the kitchen, muttering about ‘Stubborn immortals.’ It’s nice to see them getting along so well. Oh shit! He’s hubby #4! I thought we were missing something!

He returns to the table with a large plate overflowing with pieces of cold-cut ham and steak with a side of cooked beef patties. I need to pick up some canned food while I’m out.

I’m going out? When did I decide that? It must have been during standing sleep time.

He eats with the single-minded focus Mitri has perfected but doesn’t chew. He just rips his food and swallows. Table manners training, too, then.

King and Mal are watching him warily, like he’s about to spring a surprise on them. They forgot that dogs don’t do jump scares. That’s for cats only.

“You’re going to let her go alone to face a Delegate?” King asks, breaking the sound of heavy swallowing.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

My nemesis has a point. Unfortunately, it isn’t a knife sticking out of his neck.

My wifey should not be out by herself getting killed. There’s something in the hubby laws that restricts that, right? I should have paid better attention during the vows. Is there a synopsis out there? I need to brush up.

Ben huffs a laugh, “Lether? You try stopping her when she’s made up her mind.”

“She’s a Mender,” Mal argues uselessly. He rears back in his seat at the sound of the doggo’s voice but keeps on point with his argument. “What does she think she can do?Talkher way into getting the ring?”

Bad form cuddle-bear. My tail whips up and smacks him on the back of his head. If I ‘accidentally’ draw blood from the back of King’s neck while I’m pulling the unruly thing back, oops, my bad.

“What the fuck, Kimi?” Mal snarls out loud enough to shake the table.

I reach for the silence cloth next to the doggo’s plate and slap it in place over Mal’s mouth.

“My wifey is trying to sleep. Keep it down.”

Ben eyes me contemplatively, and I do the same to him. He really should have been the one to gag him, but you can only expect so much out of your dog, am I right?

His voodoo eyes are mesmerizing and stomach-turning. I’m claiming motion sickness.

“She isn’t your wife.” He says calmly and tilts his head as he waits for my response.

I don’t have one. Everyone says that, and it isn’t true. Are we not married in this reality? Were we ever married in any reality? I’m losing me.

This realitysucks. I don’t want it. My wifey isn’t evil, but she won’t cuddle me. She’ll snuggle with thedogall night, but her rightful husband gets shoved out of bed? There’s something so common and not right about that.