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“What would she have done if I had helped her? How can I call myself a healer if- “

“If you defend a group of people who were helpless?” he interrupts me with a growl. “Sometimes it takes force to remove filth. She threatened us, and you reacted exactly how any of us would have reacted. Do you think I would have stopped at killing just her? I wouldn’t have stopped and wouldn’t feel bad about it.”

“Ben-”

“No. I know exactly what you’re afraid of, and I’m telling you to stop and think. You are not becomingthe Goddess. We both know that she would have never protected anyone. She would have let GV kill us all to laugh about it later. You are notthat, and I don’t think you ever will be.”

Of course, he knows. He’s been inside every nightmare with me, watching and sometimes pulling me out of them when I can’t handle the psychological trauma anymore. Ineverwant to be like her.

“What if this is just the start? And I keep going down that path, and then…” I trail off hesitantly.

“I’ll be with you, no matter what.” He shrugs without a care.

“There’s a good chance I would kill you too, Ben. Please don’t let me get like that. Please.”

He watches me silently before he bends his knees up and rises from the ground, offering me his hands.

I hesitate and then take them, letting him pull me up until I stand unsteadily. He braces me up with his hands on my hips. The only reason I don’t lean into him isthe feeling of his hands causing the bruises underneath to flare with pain despite the gentleness of his hold.

“I’d say give it your best shot.”

Seriously? Give it my best shot? What’s with the attitude?

“Why is it that every male I’ve met that’s immortal is all, ‘Go ahead and just do it’? The ego, man,” I roll my eyes as my lips quirk up.

“Don’t pretend that you don’t act the same, Bees,” he gives me a crooked grin. “At least Mitri doesn’t play it up.”

“He totally does…” I trail off as I search for the green thread.

It’s gone. There isn’t a flicker of green anywhere.

“Hey, what’s happening?”I ask the spark, but it continues lying dormant and steady.

He should be back by now. He’s immortal. Why are we not connected?

“Ben, I can’t feel him,” my voice emerges filled with panic as I meet his vivid gaze. “I can’t feel Mitri. He was still in the chair when you left, right? Was he alive again?”

“I didn’t check him, Bees,” he frowns and tilts his head to the side. “Maybe when you died, it muddled things up?”

“I felt him disappear when she killed him. It would come back if he’s alive again, right?” I can’t keep the panic from my tone as I grip his biceps tightly.

“I think so? I’m not an expert on bonds. I’m only going off of what I’ve been told,” he tries to calm me with a soft tone, but it isn’t working. I can feel the anxiety building in my chest, cutting off my air.

“We have to find him, Ben.Now!” I try to pull away, but his grip tightens painfully over my hips. He jerks me into his chest and wraps both arms around me, forcing my head into his shoulder with one hand.

“You are not going anywhere,” his voice carries the echo of the beast underneath. “You are wounded and weak right now. I’m not taking you into a dangerous situation.”

“But-”

“No.”

“Ben, he needs me -”

“No, he doesn’t. He’s ancient. He knows what he’s doing.”

“He can’t know what he’s doing if he’sdead, Ben! He’s vulnerable!”

I begin to struggle in his arms, ending up doing nothing but hurting myself more. He doesn’t tighten his grip on me, allowing me to thrash until I’m weak and gasping through the pain.