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11. Replay

The warm water is soothing enough that it relaxes my screaming muscles. The pelting irritates all the bruising, though, and my knees are weak, so I sit on the shower floor. The great thing about showers? They’re relaxing, and no one can hear you crying.

I let myself lose it under the waterfall, my butt cramping up from the chill of the tiles. Once I feel calm enough to think, instead of panicking, I reach for the soap bar and lather up. It smells like Ben, which starts the tears up again.

I have to apologize to him, for real, this time. I’m dreading it because, for all intents and purposes, he just walked away after calling his Mommy. Where do you go with friendship after that? Or anything else really, not that it seems he’s interested in that.

Adding Mitri to the mix makes my confused feelings even worse. The man murdered his wife for cheating. He’s not going to tolerate interest going elsewhere in the least. I’m not sure if I want to pursue anything with him or if he can reciprocate my feelings.

Am I seriously having emotional angst in the middle of a missing persons search with a corrupt governing body sweeping it under the rug? What kind of person does that make me? Hello guilt, my old friend.

Okay, prioritize.

Step one: apologize to Ben. Damn you, emotions!

Step two is to find Mitri. Again,damn you!

Step three: did anyone survive the manor? Besides Kimi, he would refuse to die out of spite.

If so, are they all okay mentally? I wouldn’t be. Scratch that. I amnotokay.

Is King a puppet or a player with the Delegates?

How long do I have until Kimi kills me?

Shit, I’m losing focus here.

Step one:finish showering!

Baby steps.

I put the plan into action, pulling myself to the knobs to turn the water off. I pull back the curtain, trying to decide if I have the strength to walk out of here or should I say goodbye to dignity and crawl for it. I’m looking for a towel when my eyes stop on a bathroom mat, rucked up from my struggle with Ben.

“Oh,come on!” I scream out in frustration.

Lynn Singleton’s missing poster does not respond.

The bathroom door opens on a smiling Scilla. She peruses my nude form as I glare at her. I know I locked that. Her eyes drift to the floor, and she smoothly picks up the paper with Lynn’s smiling image.

“Makes sense,” she shrugs and drops the sheet back where she found it.

“Absolutely nothing makes sense right now!” I argue for no explainable reason.Idon’t make sense right now.

Scilla rolls her eyes at me. “The girl is a mage. She has spelled the report to follow anyone with a passing interest in finding her. This means she is currently alive and awaiting rescue.”

She waves the words away as if they mean nothing to her.

To me, it means everything.

“She’s alive?” I gasp, and suddenly, I have the strength to stand and confront Scilla head-on.

“We have bigger problems, you and I,” she gestures between us with a single finger and a dainty frown. “I’ve left clothes for you on Ben’s nest. Dress.”

She leaves after she gives the command, and I fume.

One half of me is convinced I’m not wearing anything around her because she told me to dress. The other half says it's a bad idea. She’d like that.

I dry and dress, refusing to sniffle because they’re Ben’s clothes. A pair of cut-off sweatpants made into shorts and a Duran Duran shirt that both smell like him. I miss him already.