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I look up, trying to see Ben so I can apologize for the embarrassing display he’s about to witness and see that Mal and Kimi have joined them.Great, even more witnesses. Fantastic day we’re having, isn’t it?

Kimi is laughing hysterically while the other three either discuss strategy or debate on where they’re eating breakfast when they leave me behind.

I sit on my butt and face the gnome army, shifting uncomfortably as the stones tilt me up and down on the worst mini roller coaster ever.I’m starting to get a little seasick from the nonstop motion.

I stretch my hand out and touch the grass, only to yank it back with a hiss. It isn’t grass. It’s a lawn of needles. Who does the landscaping here, demons?

The stones shift violently, and my seesaw teeters, threatening to drop. I grip my head to keep my sanity intact, but it’s becoming a struggle. I’m being threatened again. I have to do something!

I find myself laughing hysterically and snap out of it.

“I’m over this.Unless you want to be covered in vomit, take me to your leader,” my voice comes out shaky, and I can’t tell if it’s from the nausea or the jolting around.

The gnomes don’t move as I sit facing them, but the front door slowly opens with an ominous creak to show me the pitch-black gloom inside the doorway.

“Oh,come on!” I snap at it.“How cliché are we going to get here?”

My ankle begins to throb, and I’m just done.

I pull my dagger and steady myself as best I can. Then I send my spark out to try and control the gnomes or the grass.

Everything it touches has no life inside, even the grass. Freaking green needles of bullshit. Not that I would know how to control grass anyway.

Sparky stretches past the doorway and covers the inside of the house, lighting up on six different life forms.

Now we’re talking.

One of them is just inside the doorway, and I reach out my hand and grab the lifeline.Focusing on the body, I contract all the muscles, forcing an entire body cramp.A sharp yelp sounds out, and a male falls through the doorway.

The gnomes take exception to this.Suddenly, I can witness them animate and charge at me.

Oh, joy. I won’t have nightmares about this for the rest of my life.

I sit up to try and gain some height as they close in. I can’t keep myself from getting stabbed multiple times as I fend them off.

The blade slices through them easily but they continue to attack in two pieces instead of one. They seem to go for any extremity they can between my flailing legs and arms, not going for my torso at all. Seeing this going nowhere slowly I change tactics.

“Get your ass over here,” I yell, yanking his lifeline toward me.It forces the male to stand and walk like a broken marionette in my direction.I’m tilting more wildly as the stones get into the fight.

The other life spots inside are rushing towards us, probably drawn by his squealing or my yelling.The closerthe male gets to me, the more the gnomes back away, so I park him on his ass two feet away from me.

“You stupid bitch, what have you done?” He screams at me and starts trying to make some hand gestures.

Uh, no.I read that hand gestures can lead to multiple power outlets, like hexing.I freeze his hands in a cramp.

“Fuck!” He howls and jerks, writhing around on the sidewalk.

“Yeah, buddy!Feel my pain!” I stab another gnome through the face.

“Stop!Make it stop!”

“Get them away from me, then!”

“Stop the pain first!”

“Stalemate, fucker!I can make it worse; don’t make me do it!”

“No!”