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Karen and Hardin both shift uncomfortably in their seats, and I concentrate on chewing the bite of potato in my mouth.
“Does anyone have anything to talk about besides America?” Hardin rolls his eyes. I gently kick him under the table, but he doesn’t acknowledge it.
Karen jumps in quickly, asking me, “How was your trip to Seattle, Tessa?”
I’ve definitely already told her about it, but I know that she’s only trying to make conversation, so I tell everyone about the conference and my job again. That gets us through the meal at least, as everyone keeps asking me questions in a clear effort to stay on this safe, non-ex-wife-and-ex-husband topic.
Once everyone is done with the delicious goose and sides, I help Karen take the dishes to the kitchen. She seems to be distracted, so I don’t probe her for conversation as we clean up the kitchen.
“Would you like another glass of wine, Trish?” Karen asks once we all move to the living room. Hardin, Trish, and I sit on one of the couches, Landon sits on the chair, and Karen and Ken sit on the other couch across from us. It feels as if we are on teams, with Landon acting as a referee.
“Yes, please. It’s got a really great taste,” Trish replies and hands over her empty glass for Karen to fill.
“Thank you, we got it in Greece this summer; it was such an amazing—” She stops midsentence. After a pause, she adds, “A nice place,” before handing Trish back her glass.
Trish smiles and gives a little air salute. “Well, the wine is excellent.”
At first I’m confused by this awkwardness, but then I realize that Karen has gotten the Ken that Trish never had. She gets trips to Greece and all over the world, a huge home, new cars, and most importantly she gets a loving and sober husband. I really applaud Trish for being so strong and forgiving. She’s making a huge effort to be polite, especially given the circumstances.
“Anyone else? Tessa, would you like a glass?” Karen asks as she finishes pouring one for Landon. I look toward Trish and Hardin.
“Only one, for the holiday,” Karen adds.
I finally give in and reply, “Yes, please.” I’m going to need a glass of wine if the day continues to be this awkward.
As she pours, I see Hardin nodding his head next to me several times. And then he remarks, “What about you, Dad? You want a glass of wine?”
Everyone looks at him with wide eyes and open mouths. I squeeze his hand to try to silence him.
But he continues with a wicked smirk. “What? No? C’mon, I’m sure you do. I know you miss it.”
Chapter forty-seven
TESSA
Hardin!” Trish snaps.
“What? I’m just offering the man a drink. Being social,” he says.
I watch Ken, who I can tell is debating whether or not to take Hardin’s bait, whether to let this become a full-blown argument.
“Stop it,” I whisper to Hardin.
“Don’t be rude,” Trish tells him.
Ken finally reacts. “It’s fine,” he says and takes a drink of his water.
I look around the room. Karen’s face has paled. Landon is staring at the large television on the wall. Trish downs her wine. Ken looks bemused, and Hardin is glaring at him.
Then he shows a simmering smile. “I know it’s fine.”
“You are just angry, so go ahead and say what you please,” Ken says. He shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have treated Hardin’s emotion in this area so trivially, like it was a young boy’s opinion that merely had to be endured for a moment.
“Angry? I’m not angry. Annoyed and amused, yes, but angry, no,” Hardin says calmly.
“Amused by what?” Ken asks. Oh, Ken, just stop talking.
“Amused by the fact that you’re acting as if nothing ever happened, as if you weren’t a massive fuckup.” He points at Ken and Trish. “You two are being ridiculous.”
“You’re crossing the line here,” Ken says. Jesus, Ken.
“Am I? Since when do you get to decide where the line is?” Hardin challenges him.
“Since this is my home, Hardin. That’s why I get to decide.”
Hardin is on his feet immediately. I grab his arm to stop him, but he shakes me off easily. I quickly set my glass of wine on the side table and get up. “Hardin, stop!” I beg and grab hold of his arm again.
Everything was going well. Awkward, but well. And then Hardin had to go and make a rude remark. I know he’s angry at his father for his mistakes, but Christmas dinner is not the time to bring this up. Hardin and Ken had begun to repair their relationship, and if Hardin doesn’t stop now, it will get much worse.
Ken stands up with an air of authority and asks, much like a professor might, “I thought we were moving past this. You came to the wedding?” They’re only feet away from each other, and I know this will not end well.
“Moving past what? You haven’t even owned up to anything! You’re just pretending that it didn’t happen!”
Hardin is yelling now. My head is swimming, and I wish I had never extended Landon’s invite to Hardin and Trish. Once again I’ve caused a family argument.
“Today is not the day for us to be discussing this, Hardin. We’re having a nice time, and you had to go and start a fight with me,” Ken says.
Hardin asks, raising his hands in the air, “When is the day, then? God, can you believe this guy!”
“Not Christmas. I haven’t seen your mother in years, and this is the time you choose to bring all of this up?”
“You haven’t seen her in years because you fucking left! You left us with nothing—no fucking money, no car, nothing!” Hardin shouts and steps into his father’s face.