Page 166

I’m glad Landon didn’t come to say hello when I heard him get home. I was still holding a little hope and I would have looked even more ridiculous, not that he’d ever tell me that, of course.
I reach over and turn off the light on the nightstand, then turn down the music slightly. If this were a month ago, I would jump into my car and drive to that stupid house and ask him why the hell he stood me up, but it’s now, and now I just don’t have it in me to fight him. Not anymore.
I’M WOKEN UP by my phone ringing in my ears, and the noise coming through my headphones startles me.
It’s Hardin. And it’s almost midnight. Don’t answer it, Tessa.
I literally have to force myself to ignore his call and shut off my phone. I reach over and set the alarm clock on the nightstand and close my eyes.
Of course he’d be drunk, dialing me after standing me up. I should have known better.
Chapter one hundred and eight
HARDIN
Tessa isn’t answering my calls, and it’s pissing me off. It’s my damn birthday for fifteen more minutes, and she doesn’t answer the phone?
Yeah, I probably should have called her sooner, but still. She hasn’t even responded to my text from hours ago. I thought we had a nice time yesterday, and she even tried to get me naked. It killed me to say no, but I knew what would happen if we went there. I don’t need to take advantage of her right now, even though I really fucking want to.
“I think I’m going to go,” I tell Logan, prompting him to unwrap himself from the dark-skinned brunette he’s obviously taken a liking to.
“Nah, you can’t leave yet, not until—oh, there they are!” he calls and points.
I turn around to see two girls in trench coats coming toward us. No fucking way.
The crowded living room bursts into clapping and cheering.
“I don’t do strippers,” I tell him.
“Oh, come on! How’d you even know they were strippers?” He laughs.
“They’re in fucking trench coats and high heels!” This is so fucking stupid.
“Come on, man, Tessa won’t care!” Logan adds.
“That’s not the point,” I growl, even though it is. It’s not the only point, but it’s the biggest.
“Is this the birthday boy?” one of the girls says.
Her bright red lipstick is giving me a headache already. “No, no, no. I’m not,” I lie and bolt out the door.
“Come on, Hardin!” a few voices call.
Hell no, I’m not turning around. Tessa will lose her shit if she thought I was around strippers. I can practically hear her screaming at me about it now. I wish she’d answered when I called. I try to call her one more time as Nate attempts to call my other line. I’m not going back in there, no way in hell. I’ve participated in the birthday festivities long enough.
I bet she’s mad at me right now for not calling her earlier, but I never know when I should call and when I shouldn’t. I don’t want to push her, but I don’t want to give her too much space either. It’s a difficult line to walk, and I have no fucking balance.
I check my phone one more time, and see that the Hey I sent her is the last message sent or received. Looks like it’s me and that lonely-ass apartment again.
Happy fucking birthday to me.
Chapter one hundred and nine
TESSA
I wake up to a strange alarm, and it takes me a few seconds to remember I shut my phone off last night because of Hardin. Then I remember how I’d sat at the kitchen counter, my excitement dying a little with each passing minute, only to have him never show up at all.
I wash my face and get myself ready for the long drive to Vance; the one thing I really miss about the apartment is the shorter drive. And Hardin. And the bookshelves that cover the wall. And the small but perfect kitchen. And that lamp. And Hardin.
When I walk downstairs, Karen is the only one in the kitchen. My eyes go directly to the cake with the number thirteen in candles and the stupid scribble that used to say Hardin but now has shifted as a result of sitting out all night and looks like it says Hell.
Maybe it does.
“He wasn’t able to make it,” I tell her without meeting her eyes.
“Yeah . . . I deduced.” She gives me a sympathetic smile and wipes her glasses on her apron.
She’s the perfect housewife, she’s always cooking or cleaning something, but more than that, she’s so kind and she loves her husband and family, even her rude stepson, dearly.
“It’s fine.” I shrug and fill a mug with coffee.
“You know you don’t always have to be fine, honey.”
“I know. But it’s easier to be fine,” I tell her, and she nods.
“It’s not supposed to be easy,” she tells me, and I nearly laugh at the irony of her using the words that Hardin always uses against me.
“Anyway, we’re thinking of taking a trip to the beach next week. If you want to come, that would be lovely.” One of the things I love about Landon’s mother is that she never pushes me to talk about anything.
“The beach? In February?” I ask.
“We have a boat that we like to take out before it gets too warm. We go whale watching, and it’s really neat; you should come.”
“Really?” I’ve never been on a boat before, and the thought terrifies me, but whale watching does sound interesting. “Yeah, okay.”
“Great! We’ll have a really nice time,” she assures me, and heads into the living room.
I finally turn my phone back on when I get to Vance. I need to stop turning it off when I’m angry. I can just ignore Hardin’s calls next time. If something happened with my mother and she couldn’t get ahold of me, I’d feel terrible.