Page 6 of Yorkie to My Heart (Friends of Gaynor Beach Animal Rescue #6)

Phillip

“Are you sure you don’t mind watching Wally? Jordan says he’ll be fine in his crate.” I eyed Jeremy. My gorgeous neighbor who hadn’t asked any questions when I’d practically begged him to stay with me yesterday during the training session now offered me the same reassuring smile today.

“I don’t mind. Honestly, Phillip. If I had a problem, then I wouldn’t have offered.”

“Okay, but…” But no one ever does nice things for me. No one does generous things without having ulterior motives. The shrink might decide to keep me in the hospital, and I’ll never come home… Yeah, that notion, of all three, was the least likely.

Still didn’t stop my mind from going there.

Jeremy held Wally’s leash as the dog tried to bolt past him and into his house.

The house I was very curious about. So not the time . Speaking of time… “Okay, well, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

He offered that benevolent smile that wasn’t condescending. It could’ve been…but it wasn’t. “I literally have nothing to do all day.”

I arched an eyebrow.

He held up his hands. “Outside of the house. All my work today is virtual, and I don’t even have any meetings, so if Wally happens to bark, the noise won’t disturb me.”

“He won’t bark.” I rushed to reassure Jeremy. “He’s not a barker. He’s, like, the opposite of a barker.” I indicated the dog bed in the huge carryall I’d brought with me. Every conceivable thing Wally might need was in there.

I might’ve gone overboard. But this was going to be the first time we were apart.

“Phillip?”

“Mmm?”

“Go.” Jeremy indicated the cab that had just pulled up.

“Oh shit, right.” I dropped the bag, petted Wally quickly on the head, and sprinted to the cab. I was only a little out of breath as I slid into the back seat. “Uh, hi.” I glanced out the passenger window as Jeremy waved, picked up the huge bag, and coaxed Wally inside.

The dog didn’t even look back.

Not that he had any reason to. If I could pick between myself or Jeremy, I’d pretty much pick Jeremy every time.

“Where are you going?”

I met the cabby’s soft dark-brown eyes in the rearview mirror. “The hospital.”

He flipped on the meter and headed out. “I’ll have you there in no time.”

“It’s close. I should’ve walked.”

“In this heat? Nah. You want to be fresh as a daisy when you show up there.” The older man with tanned skin offered me a smile. “You okay? I mean, none of my business, and people have lots of reasons?—”

“I’m seeing Dr. Martin.” Realizing I hadn’t done up my seat belt, I did so now. I needed to be safe and healthy. Wally was counting on me. Then it struck me what I’d said, but the time to snatch the words back had passed.

“Oh, Dr. Martin is the best. My Juliana went through a rough time in high school. She had a bad breakup with her girlfriend. We thought she was just sad, but her social worker thought she needed to see a doctor.”

“Social worker?” What were the odds…?

“Anthony Rodrigues. Good man.”

My taxi driver made the sign of the cross which struck me as both odd and comforting.

“Anthony and Dr. Martin helped Juliana. She’s in college now, down in San Diego. Studying to be a doctor. Well, she’ll be applying next year for med school. She’s so smart. I’m sure she’s going to get in.” He turned right, and the appearance of the houses changed.

Were we leaving Riverside? Of course we were—the hospital was beyond the borders of my little part of Gaynor Beach. “You’re very proud of your daughter. That’s…nice.”

He caught my gaze in the mirror. “Every parent should be proud of their child. Well, unless their child is a criminal or something.” He waved the hand not gripping the steering wheel. “We can debate whether nature or nurture is a thing, but we’re almost there.”

Can we? Debate about nature versus nurture? Because I sure didn’t turn out the way anyone in my world had wanted me to.

But that was a conversation for another time. We pulled into the parking lot and he cut the meter as he came alongside the main entrance. “That’s five dollars.”

I pointed to the meter. “That says nine.”

“First-time discount.”

I was one hundred percent certain that wasn’t a thing. But four dollars I could spend on something for Wally had me handing him a five-dollar bill and four quarters for a tip.

“You’re a good young man.” He snagged a card from a holder. “You keep this. Call anytime you need me. My name is Carlos.” He held out his hand.

I shook it. “I’m Phillip.”

“Good name. And your boyfriend?”

“I…uh…”

“Oh, sorry. Assumption on my part.” He pressed a hand to his chest. “Sorry.”

“His name is Jeremy. He’s not my boyfriend. Just a neighbor taking care of my dog.”

“Nice neighbor. Gaynor Beach has lots of friendly neighbors.”

“But I am gay, though.” Somehow, despite that being very personal information, I was compelled to say it out loud. If this obviously religious man had a lesbian daughter he adored and spoke glowingly of, then the least I could do was own my queerness.

“Good town to be gay in.” He grinned. “You’ll be fine.”

“How do you know I’m new?”

“I know everything. Now, go see Dr. Martin. Very good man.”

I exited the taxi feeling slightly disconcerted, but quite reassured. I didn’t want to make a ripple in town. Just quietly settle in and do…whatever I was meant to do. The problem was that I didn’t know what that was.

As I entered the hospital, I nearly barreled into a blond god wearing the most adorable pink scrubs.

“Oh, hey.” He offered a lopsided grin. “I was hustling to get outside on my break and wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Stepping from the bright outside to the dark inside had skewed my vision as I’d headed in. “Also my mistake.”

He gave me a huge smile. “I’m Jay.”

“Uh…Phillip.” I frowned. “You always just randomly introduce yourself?”

“To nice people I almost knock over? Yes, absolutely. I’m a nurse in the ER, and I work with a Canadian doctor. His friendliness, and his penchant for apologizing all the time has rubbed off.” He cocked his head. “You know where you’re going?”

I winced. “That obvious?”

He shrugged. “Not everyone’s been here before. And not everyone comes through the ER, so I shouldn’t assume?—”

“New in town. First time here. Seeing Dr. Martin.” Because why not tell everyone I met that I was off to see the resident psychiatrist?

“Oh, he’s fantastic. Follow the yellow arrows. You’ll be great. Gotta run.”

And with that, Jay headed into the brilliant-and-brutal California sunshine. The heat hit me again in the brief moment the door was open, and I was very glad I hadn’t walked because I would’ve been soaked in sweat. Not a way to make a good first impression.

I smoothed my shorts, then set about searching for the yellow arrows.

As it turned out, the colored arrows were on the floor along with signs on the walls. I imagined being color blind would make the world of colored arrows more challenging, but they made it impossible for me to screw up.

Soon enough, I arrived at the mental and behavioral health department.

A lovely woman in a pale-blue pantsuit with pearls around her neck and in her ears greeted me. “I’m Violet, the administrative assistant. And you are?”

I took in her vibrant-red hair and soft-green eyes. Empathetic eyes. If I was judging correctly. God knew, though, I’d misread people in the past. “I’m Phillip Kaye.”

“Oh, you’re here to see Dr. Martin. I’ll let him know you’re here.” Her grin lit her eyes. “Thank you for filling out the questionnaire online. That makes things easier for everyone.”

“I don’t have insurance right now.”

She waved me off. “All taken care of. Anthony said he was working on something for you, right?”

“Uh, yeah. I just…this is all new to me.”

My mother hadn’t had insurance. Hadn’t trusted doctors despite needing the meds to keep her chronic condition manageable.

Might she still have been alive if she had?

I didn’t have a good answer to that question.

In the end, what did it matter? Everyone died.

Maybe she’d died earlier than she’d needed to.

Hard to say. But that didn’t change my reality.

“Dr. Martin is ready to see you.”

Violet pulled me from my reverie and gestured for me to follow her down a hallway. She pointed to a door and, following her lead, I entered.

The man behind the desk moved forward and offered me his hand. “I’m Dr. Xavier Martin.” He shot a glance over my shoulder. “Thanks, Violet.”

“Sure thing.” She closed the door.

I shook the doctor’s hand. “I’m not a racist.”

He cocked his head as we let go of each other’s hands. “Why would you say that? We’ve barely met.”

“Because of where I’m from.”

Dr. Martin gestured for me to take a seat in an area off to the side.

I’d thought he’d sit at his desk, but he took a chair close to me.

I wanted to squirm, but I managed not to.

He offered a measured smile. “Phillip—you don’t mind if I call you Phillip, do you?”

“Uh, no. Of course not.” Because Mr. Kaye was my grandfather’s name and he was another man I wanted nothing to do with.

“Right. Phillip. I work very hard not to make any assumptions about my patients. I look at referrals, intake forms, and anything else that might arise, but I reserve impressions for when I meet them in person.”

I wrung my hands. “You know where I’m from.”

Slowly, the Black man nodded. “Not everyone from eastern Oregon is a racist.”

“We lived near the Idaho border in one of the last sundown towns in the US.”

“Okay, but I’m not?—”

“They were all racists. All of ‘em. Like, you just have no idea.” I gazed at him. “Or maybe you do. Maybe you’ve met tons of racists. Well, I grew up surrounded by them. And I know our little town. Not everyone out there was raised like I was, but trust me, you’d have been run out of that fucking place. ”

He offered a small smile. “I’ve been Black my entire life.”

I closed my eyes and tried to remember to breathe.