Page 34 of Yorkie to My Heart (Friends of Gaynor Beach Animal Rescue #6)

“Obviously, I didn’t die. My landlady found me, called an ambulance, and the rest you know.

Did I deliberately wait until morning so she might find me?

I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t want to die.

It sure felt like I did at the time. And then I was in a hospital, under psychiatric care, and getting the help I’d needed for most of my life but never had access to.

Eventually, I was ready to be discharged.

With meds and a social worker willing to add me to his caseload in a small town away from all the bad memories.

Negative associations. I mean, I still need the drugs.

Thank God I had them with me and I didn’t lose them in the fire. I guess I would’ve coped…”

“We’d have found a pharmacy to fill the prescription. Contingencies exist for that.”

“I figured.” He held my gaze. “What I didn’t see coming was you. Tripping over my rescue dog. Making me feel alive for the first time in my life. Giving me hope. Accepting me as I am.”

With great difficulty, I held myself still. Pain was etched all over his face, and I wanted to badly to take it away. To reassure him. To comfort him.

“Somewhere along the line, I realized I was glad I hadn’t died. And that walking away from my pasts in Oregon and LA were good things. Gaynor Beach gave me a fresh start. People offered friendship.” He gazed up at me through his lashes. “Someone offered me more.”

My turn. Don’t fuck this up . “I didn’t see you coming either.

I’ve been living the bachelor life for years.

A couple of short-term relationships. A bunch of dates.

Some hookups…” I scrunched my nose. “Some really nice guys, to be sure. Just no one who captured either my imagination or my heart. No one who made me say yes, I’ll change my life for him .

Even when Marcie and Darren married, I was never jealous of them.

I didn’t want what they had. Didn’t need it. And then I met you.”

He blinked.

“Yeah. Like a lightning strike. My world irrevocably changed in a nanosecond. And yes, for me, the attraction was immediate. Your eyes are this amazing shade of green. Your tousled hair is adorable. I found you sexy.”

He tried to look away.

I gently grasped his chin and guided his gaze back to me.

“I told you that. I like guys of every size. Whether you stay the same as you are now or lose a bit of weight to be healthier, I honestly don’t care.

” I considered. “No, that’s not true. I want you healthy.

I want you to be here a damn long time. So you do whatever you need to. ”

“My blood sugar is high, and my cholesterol worries my doctor.”

“Then we focus on the things we can control. I’m getting up in age.”

“You’re thirty-nine and run marathons.”

“And my knees might give out. I might break an ankle. I might eventually develop angina like my dad. All those things are in my future. Some less probable than others. I’m almost a generation older than you, Phillip. That’s a lot.”

“I don’t care.” He ran his fingers through my beard and scratched my chin. “I find silver sexy.”

My mind rebelled because I didn’t like the idea of getting old. Well, I didn’t embrace it. I had so many things left that I wanted to do.

He tapped my forehead. “You’re frowning. Please don’t frown. Because I’ve now told you the worst of it.”

I blinked. “You did.”

“And you’re still here.”

“I am.”

“So now I get to tell you about how this stunningly attractive sexy older man stumbled over my dog, and how I was the one who fell head over heels.” He smiled tentatively.

“I didn’t think I was ever going to try any form of a relationship again.

Four years of… whatever that was… should’ve inoculated me against older men with big promises. ”

I winced.

“But you haven’t made big empty promises.

You’ve promised me safety. You’ve promised me respect.

And you’ve given me those. You’ve offered me a space in your life without you having to make a lot of changes.

I like that idea. I’ve never wanted to be a burden.

I thought what I wanted was to make my way in the world alone.

You’ve shown me that it’s okay to have a partner. ”

“An equal partner,” I interjected.

His eyes widened.

“I get the feeling you think I’m not getting anything out of this.

That couldn’t be more wrong. I get you.” I placed my hand on his heart.

“I get the generous, kind, and wonderful you. In my home. In my life. Taking care of my nibblets. That’s incredibly powerful.

And I don’t feel like I’m giving up anything except being alone.

No one’s going to mourn if I’m no longer on the market and looking for a hookup. ”

He chuckled.

Pressing my advantage, I lowered my head so our lips could brush. Just a light touch. A promise.

“Is it really that simple?” He held my gaze. “I thought love was hard won.”

“I would say you’ve fought a mighty battle to get where you are. If I’m an easy part of your life, I’m okay with that.”

“I love you. I think it might just be that simple.”

“It is. Because I love you too. I also didn’t see you coming. And yet here you are. And I have zero regrets.”

He scratched my bearded chin again. “Can we celebrate?”

“How?” My eyes drifted shut in bliss. I didn’t shave my beard for two reasons.

The first was I looked weird without one.

I had an oddly shaped face. The second was expediency.

A trim every few days kept everything looking neat.

Now, given how much Phillip seemed to enjoy it, I was never going to shave it off.

“I think…”

At his hesitancy, I opened my eyes and met his gaze.

He went up on tiptoes to press his mouth to my ear. “I think I’d like you to fuck me.”

My cock, previously sitting quietly, minding his own business, got quite perky at that idea. “I think that could be arranged.” I searched his gaze. “If that’s how you want it.”

He gave me a careless shrug. “For the first time. Unless…”

“It’s just fine. I’m vers, but usually top.”

“Then can we go home?”

I pressed a kiss to his lips. “You bet.”