Page 33 of Yorkie to My Heart (Friends of Gaynor Beach Animal Rescue #6)

Jeremy

All evening I’d watched Phillip smile.

Marcie had invited us over and had me join her on a walk around the block with Wally on the pretense of wanting to discuss something very important.

Manipulative twit.

She wanted Phillip to have more alone time with the nibblets. To see if his enthusiasm waned as he faced two irritable kids who hadn’t slept well the night before. Not for a discernable reason—they just had refused bed and, as a result, were too cranky for their own good.

Phillip grinned. He played cards with Raphael and built a fort using sheets and the couch with Thaddeus. We left them alone for an hour and returned to find the house a bit of a disaster and two kids fast asleep.

Marcie was thrilled as she registered Phillip for the class at the rec center and also handed him a folio of everything she thought he might need.

He promised to read it all over, and since Marcie already had a gig this weekend, and Darren was still in San Diego, Phillip and I would be sharing the babysitting duties at their house for that time.

Fingers crossed Andreas actually behaved while in Vancouver. At least for the weekend. I did not want to have to ditch Phillip and fly up there to get my client out of trouble.

“Why do you keep looking at me?” Phillip attempted a mock glare.

And failed miserably as that glare turned into a grin.

“Because I find you…enchanting. Like I just want to bask in your glow. You haven’t stopped smiling all night.”

He inched closer to me on the couch—the movie we’d chosen long forgotten.

“Because it’s so exciting. That I’m going to be taking care of the kids.

That Marcie can go back to doing what she loves and I’m part of helping her.

That I’ll have a real job. My first since the filling station nearly ten years ago.

I’m going to be part of something bigger than myself. That’s…”

“Powerful?”

“Yeah, it kind of is.”

“I remember the first time Marcie placed Raphael in my arms. The love I felt for that baby. And the sheer terror. My sister was trusting me literally with her firstborn. And she’s always been such a great mother.

Fierce when she needs to be—to protect them, of course.

But also willing to let them go out and make their own mistakes.

Within reason. She’s just, kind of like the opposite of a helicopter parent. But not quite free range either.”

“Oh God, I could imagine what Raphael would get up to if they were free range.”

“Exactly. But Marcie sees in you the same innate understanding of her children. The same respect for her parenting skills that I offer up every day. I admire what she does. But also know that path’s not right for me.”

“Ah.” He offered a small, but knowing, smile. “You don’t want kids.”

Might as well have this conversation now.

Because if I knew one certainty in my life, it was that kids weren’t in the cards for me.

I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“If anything ever happened to Marcie and Darren, I would—without a moment’s hesitation—take the kids.

My sister’s will is very clear, and we’ve had long and in-depth conversations about how they would want their children to be raised.

All things I completely agree with. I also might say a prayer every night to a god I don’t believe in that nothing bad ever happens to them.

That they live long, healthy lives. That they are around to see the nibblets thrive and live great futures. ”

“That’s…” Phillip blinked several times. “Wonderful. If I hadn’t been near the end of high school when Mom died, I would’ve gone into foster care. No one would’ve wanted me.”

Which made my heart ache. “You know Colin and James are trying to be foster parents. Or even to adopt.”

“That’s amazingly generous of them.”

“Did Colin mention his family?”

Phillip shuddered. “Assholes. I think that was the word he used.”

I chuckled. “Right. James’s family is the opposite.”

“Colin told me. About all the brother and sisters and nibblets and parents who love them. Both of them. Colin talked about being accepted.” His cheeks took a rosy tinge. “Kind of like how Marcie’s been with me.”

“And you’re meeting my parents tomorrow night. They’re so excited.” I’d seriously considered declining their offer. Meeting the parents was a big step. Except they wanted to thank Phillip for his help when Mom was in the hospital.

“I’m excited to meet them.” He scrunched his nose. “What if they think…”

“Think?” I prompted.

“That I’m not good enough for you. I don’t have a college degree, I don’t?—”

I placed a finger against his lips.

He stopped talking.

Then I realized what I’d done, and I pulled back.

“Sorry. You should always be able to tell me whatever’s on your mind, and I don’t have the right to silence you.

I just…didn’t want you to spiral like you sort of do sometimes.

If my parents didn’t think you were good enough for me, I wouldn’t give a shit.

But that’s not going to happen. They’re going to see the amazing man I’m falling in love with—” Shit. Shit. Shit.

He grasped my hand. “Really?”

“Uh…yes. I just didn’t mean to say it like that.”

He arched an eyebrow. “And what were your intentions?”

“Something romantic. Like a picnic on the beach. Except sand gets everywhere. So maybe a walk in the park? Maybe where we met.”

“Okay.” He started to push up and off the couch.

“Hey.” I glanced outside. “It’s dark.”

“There are streetlamps.”

“Wally’s asleep.”

“You know if I ask him to get up that he totally will. And he needs a final pee for the night anyway.”

He was dead serious.

“Okay. We should probably put on light jackets. There’s a breeze off the ocean tonight.”

“In the dead of summer?”

“There’s a storm brewing. I should probably check the weather app?—”

“We’ll be fine. We’ll always be fine.” He pushed off the couch and whistled.

Wally popped off one of his four beds—in various places around the house—and perked right up.

“Walk?” Phillip used that sweet tone that always worked on the dog.

That always worked on me.

We donned windbreakers and then headed out into the night. Thank goodness for the streetlamps as the clouds obscured the moon entirely.

I grabbed Phillip’s hand, and he gripped the leash in his other.

We made it about twenty feet before Wally lifted his leg and peed on Mrs. Duggins’ rosebushes.

“You realize I’m going to catch hell for that.” I might’ve dramatically whispered that.

“If she were home.” He pointed to the dark house.

“She might be lurking behind the curtains.

“Well, she told me she and Mrs. Candor were going to the movie tonight. Some new rom-com with a more mature cast.”

I laughed. “Okay, that’s fair. Pretty soon that’ll be Marcie’s speed.”

He poked me. “Do not let your sister hear you say that.”

“Maybe.” Marcie and I teased each other mercilessly about aging. All the while knowing we’d eventually lose our parents and then, in time, each of us would go. Such was the way of the world.

“You don’t want kids, do you?” Phillip squeezed my hand as we crossed Fern Avenue.

Trust him to keep the thread of the conversation. At least he didn’t bring up love again.

“No, I really don’t. I’ve considered fostering over the years. My response was always to find a charity and to make a donation. I also teach an online press-release writing course for anyone who’s interested. For free. I figure that’s my contribution.”

He laughed. “Okay. Didn’t see that coming. I’ll have to sign up.”

“It’s virtual. And anyway, I can just show you anytime.”

“Ah, but I like the idea of seeing you in action.”

“I’d be nervous with you there.”

“No you wouldn’t. You’d shine. You always shine.” Again, he squeezed my hand as we made our way into the park. “It’s just over here.” He pointed to a bend.

The bend where we’d first met. Just ten days ago.

A lifetime. In a good way.

We stopped at the bend. Under the streetlamp with the weird pink glow.

“Now…” He drew in a breath and gazed up at me. “I never saw you coming. And I need to tell you something important before we go on.”

I tilted my head. I’d thought we were here so I could do the talking. Except maybe this was his safe spot. His spot for revelations. Because the last doozie had been delivered at almost this exact spot. Well, except the virgin thing.

“Like, you know I’m seeing Dr. Martin.”

I nodded.

“You know I had troubles back in LA.”

Again, a nod. He wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know.

“Yeah.” He winced. “When Hank left, I didn’t have any way to pay the rent.

And I really didn’t care. So I spent the little bit of money he left on junk food and just sort of…

” He shrugged. “I wasn’t thinking more than five minutes ahead at a time.

My phone got cut off. Eventually the internet and cable were gone. And I just didn’t care.”

He blinked.

“Then one day the landlady showed up. She said I had a day to clear out.” He bit his lower lip.

“The next morning I took every pill in the house. All of them. I didn’t know what half of them were.

I didn’t care. Just swallowed the whole lot, climbed into bed, and reassured myself it would all be over soon. ”

My heart seized. In a way this news shocked me. In other ways, it made perfect sense.