Page 44 of Where the Shadows Land (Garden of Hope #1)

ASTORIA

A storia fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve while Rowan braided pale pink carnations into her hair.

The flowers were the final preparations for the ritual that would bind her mind, body, and soul to Mairuk.

Her opalescent gossamer robe hid nothing and clung to every curve of her body.

The fabric glimmered like liquid starlight, somehow illuminated from within.

Magic buzzed against her skin, covering her in goosebumps from head to toe.

Despite her agreement of the terms and the trust she put in Mairuk’s hands, she couldn’t stop herself from gnawing on her lower lip or playing with the delicate fabric at her sleeve.

The sex stopped feeling like she was cheating on Damien a while ago—it was different—but this?

Binding her very soul to another being, the eternal part of her that was always meant to remain Damien’s, that felt like a betrayal.

The Goddess set her free. Astoria would never return to Her Holy Light or reside in eternal peace with her family.

Did that also sever the soul bond she had with Damien ?

Astoria worshiped the Wizened Four, but she was far from being a scholar.

She didn’t know, and she doubted anyone else in Bostrai did, either.

Blythe would know. Astoria’s heart clenched, and she swallowed back the wave of emotion the bubbled up her throat.

Blythe would have countless problems with Astoria’s current arrangement if she were here.

Even if she knew the answer, Blythe would have advised against a loktossi bond, regardless.

Astoria had to figure this out alone. She didn’t have a choice in the matter, not really.

Her heart had room for both Damien and Mairuk. Could her soul be the same?

“I know that look,” Rowan said. “I made it myself many, many times.”

Astoria turned to face Rowan, her smile watery. “I’m fine.”

“Honey, you don’t need to lie to anyone, least of all another human. This ritual is overwhelming, and you’re far from the only one who’s been hesitant.” Rowan finished the last of the braid, then took Astoria’s hands in his. “Our monsters can wait. What’s troubling you?”

“I was married.”

“Was?”

“My husband died two years ago.”

“May he bask in the Eternal Light forevermore.” Rowan crossed his chest and bowed his head in an old sign of respect for the dead. Only the oldest priests gave that sort of bow, and it left Astoria with more questions than she could hope to get answers for.

“Doing this, giving myself to Mairuk? It feels like I’m replacing him.”

Rowan’s eyes went soft, and he shook his head.

“You aren’t. This is a different sort of bond entirely.

The Ardeloks have a different marriage ritual, and they can’t marry humans.

We don’t have that kind of respect in Flaironce.

The affection you have for Mairuk, while precious, isn’t the point of the loktossi bond. This is a claiming.”

“A claiming like I’m property? ”

“More like a pet than an object, but yes.” Rowan wrinkled his nose. “It sounds worse when I say it out loud.”

“You aren’t making it sound good, no.” Astoria tossed her head back and groaned. “It doesn’t matter.”

Rowan helped Astoria stand, his gaze never wandering away from her face. “You didn’t choose this for yourself, but it is the best option if you’re going to live in Ardelok lands. More so if you have someone like Mairuk.”

“Did you choose to become a loktossi ?”

“ That is a long tale better reserved for another time, but in short, yes. My father caught me in bed with the eldest son of another noble family and his bride-to-be. They hid the scandal and disposed of me. I can’t tell you how I survived.

It’s as much a mystery to me as anyone else.

When Leri found me, I was half-starved and mostly dead.

They offered me life on the condition I became their loktossi . I agreed,” Rowan said.

“A choice implies another option. Forcing someone to choose between life and death isn’t fair,” Astoria said.

“Perhaps not, but it was the one I was given. I don’t regret my choice, and I never have.

I agreed to life, to survival, but I got so much more than air in my lungs and a steady heartbeat.

Now, I have a command over magic similar to what the Ardeloks innately possess.

I didn’t have magic before, and for our monsters, elemental magic is as easy as breathing.

Leri and I haven’t always gotten along, but they taught me how to use my power.

They have cared for all of my needs for more decades than I care to count.

Most importantly, they always accepted me as I am. ”

“Are you happy?”

“It took a while, but I’ve found happiness. I won’t lie to you. This life is far from perfect or fair, but it is the one we have. You’re lucky that Mairuk cares so much for you. Make the most of that gift.”

“I will,” Astoria said.

~

The meandering stone path before her was cool under her bare feet.

New growth that Astoria and Mairuk conjured together clustered along the edge of the path and perfumed the air with the fresh smells of spring and new life.

The candlelight reached into the night, their warm golden glow illuminated the ornate sigils carved into the dirt and the altar.

Carved bones, tall candles, and a heavy bowl with fragrant smoke billowing from it filled the table between a handful of items as she scanned the space.

Mairuk stole her breath. The gossamer robe they wore melted against their skin and gleamed in the candlelight, scattering diamond flickers across the blanket they stood on.

The fabric clung to their tall, wide body and highlighted the vibrancy of their skin.

Shades of amethyst, sky blue, and sunset pink swirled through their fibers, the growths on their body pushing against the robes and catching every fraction of light.

The blue ring at the base of their neck glowed with magic, lighting the robes from within.

The play of the light mesmerized her where she stood.

Their sharp triangular jaw, the thin line of their mouth, and the gentle gleam of their pink eyes were as familiar to her now as the back of her hand.

She knew every ridge of their skin, how each one of their gills along the underside of their cap felt against her fingers.

The sight of their purple cap became synonymous with protection and safety in her mind.

Their tall, wide frame towered over hers, and for the first time in all her life, she felt small and dainty.

There was no mistaking what Mairuk was in this moment, every one of their alien features clear in her eyes.

Their large hands with wide, tentacle-like fingers swallowed hers in a grip so gentle it sent a pang through her heart.

Magic hung thick in the air, and danced against her skin like a caress.

The space between them grew warm, beckoning her closer and closer to her monster .

“You are the most beautiful thing we have ever seen. Perfect. You are perfect for us, Astoria. Thank you for trusting us,” Mairuk said.

Astoria’s lips fell open as she took them in.

They thought she was beautiful? Looking at them was like staring into the sun as it rose over a valley.

They were the art and majesty of nature rolled into a being with the gentleness of spring and the love of summer.

Ethereal, majestic, and hers . Breathless, she only managed a single word. “Magnificent.”

The thin line of Mairuk’s mouth quirked up and sent her stomach into flips.

They pulled her into a tight embrace, cradling her against their thick, immovable body.

Through the thin material of the robes, their bodies touched enough that every ridge of their fibrous skin rubbed against her.

The cloth became a barrier she yearned to be free of.

In a sober state of mind, while more connected to her body than she had been in many seasons, Astoria faced the truth. She wanted this. She wanted Mairuk.

They captured her lips in a tender kiss, and her heart soared.

She clutched at their robe, bringing them closer, refusing to let go.

Their influence rushed through her veins and heated her blood.

Every muscle in her body relaxed under their kiss.

A gentle, deep heat spread from her lips, across her cheeks, over her closed eyes, and her brow.

It continued down her neck, her chest, her stomach, then radiated through the rest of her body.

Mairuk’s influence tingled in her fingers, her toes, and against her clit with anticipation.

Their hand cupped her ass, their grip forceful enough to pull a gasp from her throat.

Her ears buzzed with their influence, their combined magic, and the buzz of power in the air.

Mairuk pulled away from her lips to speak to the witnesses, but Astoria felt more than she heard the words.

The gentle rumble in their chest and soft, almost masculine tones of their voice beckoned her like a song.

She swayed to their music, registering their oaths only in the distant places of her mind .

In the space under Mairuk’s influence, fully surrounded by magic, Astoria allowed herself to submit to her circumstances, to her desires, to Mairuk.

Their hold on her body was possessive but gentle, and gods, she never felt safer than she did in that moment.

One of their hands held her ass, the other stroked her back as they spoke, and she melted.

A question registered in her awareness from Mairuk’s lips, and her eyes fluttered open to look up at their gorgeous face.

Their hand danced up her back, then cradled her cheek.

They gave her an expectant look, and she said the only word that mattered.

The only word that rung so clear in her mind it vibrated her bones. “Yes.”