Page 17 of Where the Shadows Land (Garden of Hope #1)

Astoria’s heartbeat fluttered a soft song through the door.

Her scent drew closer and Mairuk’s gills ruffled with the pleasantness.

Though her presence was obvious through the door, she made no indication that she heard them.

They waited. And waited. Then they waited some more.

The silence stretched between them and rang clear in their ears.

Mairuk huffed and knocked on the door again, louder this time.

“We can smell you in there, human. You will not hide from us. We can tear this door off the hinges if you are incapable of opening it.”

Astoria opened the door, then crossed her arms and glared up at them. “I have been caring for myself. I am well. Now leave me alone.”

She went to close the door, but Mairuk caught it and pried it back open. Their other hand clutched the door frame, blocking the exit. “Have we upset you?”

“Yes. You’re disturbing my rest. Now leave ,” she spat.

“We respect your decision to not return, but why have you been avoiding us? You acted strange then, and you are acting strange now. We do not understand,” Mairuk said.

Astoria didn’t want them. That was fine, but ignoring them was not.

They didn’t even know what they did to upset her so much, or if this was one of her episodes.

“Why would I return once my head cleared? Why would I want a monster like you to put your hands on me?” Astoria stood up on her tiptoes and jabbed a finger firm into the center of their chest. “Your touch, your magic, or something fogs my mind. It’s like I get drunk or high.

With control of myself, I never would want you to touch me like that. ”

Mairuk tilted their cap and leaned in to her space. “You touched us first, vixen. Climbed right into our lap. Pressed your soft body into ours and begged.”

“I did not beg,” Astoria spat.

“Oh, but you did. Your sweet, breathy cries for us to touch you were almost as sweet as your lips.”

“It was a mistake. I’m disgusted with myself! My husband would be appalled by my actions.”

“You mean your husband, who is dead? ”

“Human marriage is for eternity!” Astoria turned away from the door and raked her hands through her hair.

“It does not matter if he is dead. My soul is bound to his. He is still my husband. I will not debase myself further and insult his memory! Not with anyone, and least of all not a hells-formed monster!”

“The dead to not have opinions, Astoria. They are gone, returned to the After. The soul cares not for the laws of mortals.” Mairuk squeezed the door frame in their hands and the wood creaked under their grip.

“If our touch debased you, ruined you in the eyes of a husband who no longer breathes, good .”

Astoria reared back as if Mairuk struck her. Her hand covered her mouth and tears welled in her eyes. “How dare you!”

“Curse us if you must, but we will not apologize for speaking the truth. You are yours before you are anyone else’s, and we do not care about the whims of a dead man.”

Tears fell from Astoria’s eyes, fanning Mairuk’s rage higher and higher.

Astoria closed the distance and tilted her head all the way up to face them.

Green flames danced in her eyes. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.

Damien is waiting for me. He will receive me when I die, and I will not fail him again! ”

“Fail him? He is dead. Gone. You cannot fail someone who isn’t here.”

“It doesn’t matter, because I am still his!”

The dead human had her loyalty and affection.

Mairuk could not find why such a revelation was a blow directly to their center, or why made their skin itch like it was covered in dirt.

If she loved a corpse now, she did when she rubbed herself all over them and begged for Mairuk to touch her.

It was good they did not do as she asked.

No amount of pleasure made this sourness worth it.

The tangle of emotion fell to the consuming fire of rage and made their blood simmer.

“Say what you will, human. If it makes it easier for you to live with yourself, then believe whatever you would like. We know the truth. We remember how you smelled. How you felt. What you taste like. What it felt like to have your soft body rocking against ours. The sounds you make when you beg. If we gave you what you asked so sweetly for, we would not have to wonder what you feel like on the inside.” Mairuk’s words were dark and rough when they sent them through her mind.

“It was a moment of weakness,” Astoria said, her voice tight. “I will not make that mistake again. I can’t.”

“You chain yourself to the past and punish yourself for living, for seeking anything other than pain. You told us that we both deserve futures in the light. Yet, you bury yourself in a grave darker than a moonless night and insist on staying there. We—” Mairuk turned their head away and released the door.

Arguing did nothing. “You are cruel, but we will honor your words. Be ready at sunrise. There is work to do.”

Mairuk stomped through the garden and into the depths of the forest. They would not allow a human of all the pitiful creatures on the planet to see them wounded.

No matter how expected her words were, she lit a deep ache in the shape of loneliness within them.

The forest would soothe them. At least, Mairuk prayed it would.