Page 22 of Where the Shadows Land (Garden of Hope #1)

ASTORIA

H ot, blistering pain gnawed on her shoulder, her arms, and all down Astoria’s side.

Cold rain splattered all over her face as she stared up at the ethereal pink eyes of her monster.

Mairuk’s finger over her pulse point carried the promise of death.

Yet, they didn’t deliver it. Each breath they gave her eased the burning pain in her body, numbing it until she was higher than the canopy and comfortable in their powerful arms. The slight coolness of Mairuk’s skin eased the burn that lingered under the haze of their magic.

Present, but not uncomfortable. Bastian followed the pair at Mairuk’s side and Astoria swore her familiar didn’t take his big brown eyes off her once.

Astoria floated in and out of consciousness, lulled to sleep by the steady pace of Mairuk’s heavy steps.

They clutched her close, their arms supporting her shoulders and under her knees.

Their long, thick fingers stroked down from her side to her hip in slow, gentle sweeps.

The touch was innocent, comforting, but it stoked a different heat low in her belly .

Shame lived in Astoria’s bones, but Mairuk’s touch eased it as easily as they did her pain.

Wrapped up in their arms and close to their chest, Astoria had the gift of peace.

Safety. Perhaps it was stupid of her to relish in those feelings while in the arms of a monster who had every right to kill her.

Yet, with each gentle stroke of their finger, the peace settled in deeper.

Mairuk might have looked like a creature of nightmares, but in their arms Astoria had the most beautiful dreams.

Mairuk was a monster, but Mairuk was her monster.

Astoria wouldn’t leave them again. They saved her life twice over and deserved her gratitude, despite the fear and shame that threatened to swallow her whole.

Shame no longer served a purpose now that she wouldn’t return to her people.

There was no point. Astoria used the Orsea too many times, accepted it from Mairuk too often for any of the gods to accept her now.

Her family was better off believing she died.

Part of her did. Her mother and sisters would find a sense of peace in Astoria’s death, and they would move on.

Hope glimmered in her chest and reached around the lingering shadows of shame.

The Goddess rejected her, but the more Astoria considered it in the brief flickers of consciousness, it didn’t feel malicious.

Astoria was not damned. She was not Soleil’s, and Soleil wasn’t hers.

Perhaps the Goddess set Astoria free. Maybe now that she was free, she could answer the call of the Orsea and the Spirit of Mieotsy.

Maybe Mairuk was right and the Great After had fewer rules than Astoria thought.

Perhaps there was a different truth to be found on this new path before her.

Astoria jostled back into consciousness once Mairuk set her down.

If they walked for hours or minutes, she couldn’t tell.

The fog in her mind gave way to clarity as she sank into her mattress.

She set her hands on either side of her hips to remain upright and yelped when the movement tugged on the raw wounds of her shoulder.

Mairuk tilted their cap, then left the room without another word.

Bastian followed close behind them, then vanished into the night .

Astoria had no right to feel the sharp sting that bloomed when they left, but it bruised her tender heart, anyway.

Pushing beyond that, she took stock of herself.

The simple dress she made was ruined beyond repair.

The shoulders and chest were little more than rags, torn apart by harpy claws.

Her entire body was sticky with mud or blood, the coppery smell so strong it burned her eyes.

Her hair wasn’t much better off, a solid mat of damp debris.

A bath . Astoria needed to clean herself up and gather the healer’s kit in her pack.

There was an apothecary in town, and Astoria could find her way to some sort of ointment to repel infection.

Probably. She peeled off the top of the ruined dress and winced as it tugged on her sensitive skin.

The dried blood did not want to let go of the garment.

Though her eyes watered from the tug and rip, she got the dress down over her breasts.

She slowly stood and pushed the dress over her full hips.

A large gash ran from her rib to her hip.

It throbbed and seeped fresh blood as Astoria pushed her dress away from it.

Her pack sat on her bed, along with her weapons.

Her armor hung unused in the armoire. In her fit, she didn’t bring any of her belongings.

She expected to die, but running with nothing was stupid and reactionary, even for her.

She hadn’t had the best track record for using her logical mind, but since arriving in Mairuk’s village she became a whole new level of stupid.

Why am I like this? I need to use my brain. Mairuk probably wouldn’t understand why, but once she tended to herself, she would try to explain what happened. They deserved at least that much for saving her life. Twice.

She wandered over to her armoire, slow and careful.

Though Mairuk’s healing magic stopped her bleeding, she still lost a significant amount of blood, and her body ached.

No matter how much power they worked into her, magic couldn’t replace time and rest. She grabbed a loose, sleeveless linen sleep dress and the soap Mairuk gave her, then opened the door to the bedroom in nothing but a bloodstained band over her breasts and linen panties .

Mairuk opened the door before she did. Astoria squeaked and stumbled back when they came in with a large towel.

The haze Mairuk’s magic put on her mind faded, but it wasn’t gone.

Their three pink eyes scanned her body and heat bloomed in her core.

Astoria struggled to catch any real understanding of their thoughts, their features too alien to read.

Their gills fluttered under their cap and the motion was almost as mesmerizing as the glowing blue band around the base of their neck.

The state of Mairuk dropped over her senses like frozen water and shocked her back to reality.

Blood, both green and red, covered them from cap to foot.

A large part of their cap was no longer there and Astoria blamed the blood loss on why she hadn’t noticed it.

Many of the small growths on their chest and arms were severed, leaving various little stumps behind.

Their arm was torn to shreds, with one cut still bleeding.

Astoria’s heart clenched. As injured as they were, they still carried her back.

“We have prepared a bath for you, two houses over. Erlumi is in the water to further heal and prevent rot, so do not worry about the color. We will gather other supplies and wait here to stitch your wounds,” Mairuk said in her mind.

She liked the sound of their audible voice, but perhaps speaking with their mouth was harder for them.

“Thank you. I won’t be too long.” Astoria took the towel and gestured to them. “Please tend to yourself while I’m bathing.”

“We will heal in a few days. You are far more fragile, vixen. Let us worry about you first.”

Astoria’s cheeks burned. She opened her mouth to protest, but her state of undress caught up with her.

She nodded and Mairuk took a step away from the door and she hurried out of her cabin.

Mairuk already saw Astoria naked when they tended to her infection, yet the burning in her cheeks grew hotter.

Their gaze burned into her back until she was out of the house .

Humans must have looked as alien to the Ardeloks as they did to humans, yet a buzzed, almost giddy part of her mind wondered if Mairuk liked what they saw as she left.

Astoria rolled her eyes at herself. They were both wounded.

She was still a little dazed from their magic.

Now was not the time to have lustful thoughts.

As much as she tried to remind herself of this, she kept falling into the dirty gutters of her wandering mind.

~

Freshly bathed, clean of blood and dressed in a thin linen nightdress that did nothing to hide the hard peaks of her nipples, Astoria returned to her cabin where Mairuk waited for her.

They cleaned themselves up, too, no longer covered in blood and with their wounds mostly scabbed over and half healed.

It took her a while to get all the blood off, to wash her hair and comb it free of debris, and for the last of Mairuk’s magic to fade from her mind.

She needed to be clear-headed if they were going to be close to her. Touching her.

“Come sit,” Mairuk said.

Astoria followed their command and settled on the couch beside them.

Gently, she shifted the strap of her nightdress off her shoulder and bared the worst of her wound to Mairuk.

They sank down to their knees in front of her and gathered a thin needle and a spool of thick thread.

They offered her a dark bottle, too. Astoria opened the cap and took a sniff.

The alcohol was so strong it burned her eyes and she coughed.

“It will hurt to stitch and there is much to do. Sip slowly, we do not know the effects of bramble nectar on humans,” Mairuk said.

“I was a clumsy youth and I’ve had many sutures. I will hold on to this if it gets too much.” Astoria had too much to talk about and too much to apologize for. The stitches would hurt, but she needed a clear head to get the words to come out right.