Page 34 of Where the Shadows Land (Garden of Hope #1)

MAIRUK

M airuk cradled Astoria in their arms until her tears eased, then they left her to butcher her meat in peace.

Mairuk searched the garden for Leri, and found them in the apothecary.

Leri shuffled through the open shelves and huffed each time they pulled on the bleeding wound on their chest. Mairuk grabbed Leri by the shoulders and sat them down on a stool in the cluttered apothecary, then grabbed the correct salve from the packed shelf.

“We are sorry our human shot you.” Mairuk got a good amount of salve on their fingers and rubbed it over the wound on Leri’s chest. “We thought she would be gone for many hours.”

Leri winced under Mairuk’s touch. “She is a deadly shot. If we hadn’t seen her…”

“We will punish her appropriately,” Mairuk said.

“We don’t understand. You’ve never been interested in humans. Hated them. What prevented you from killing this one when you found her?” Leri asked .

Mairuk’s gills flattened against their cap as they worked the thick salve into Leri’s pale chest. Neither Rholctai bothered to light a candle, so the only sunlight shone in through the window.

Leri was right, of course. Mairuk never liked humans.

In truth, they hadn’t met many, and the ones they met left much to be desired.

Then the war started, and the humans took more of Ardelok land, killed their people, and stole the magic from the land.

Astoria drew them in for many reasons, but above all, with her, they weren’t alone.

Mairuk wiped their hands clean on a cloth and sighed. “She has suffered like we have. With her company, we are not alone anymore.”

“You chose this life for yourself,” Leri snapped, their red eyes gleaming bright. “All of our group, including Idelic, have invited you to come with us. Yet every time, you have chosen to live with the ghosts of the past instead of moving forward to the future.”

“We have made it clear many times why we will not leave. Why we cannot. We have extended the invitation for you all to come and stay here with us as well, yet you have all refused. Last time, we even offered for you to bring your loktossi , and you still denied us. Astoria has been the first and only one to choose us, and so we have chosen her.”

“That’s not fair. We all have love for you, Mairuk, but this garden is a tomb. You can’t expect us to lie beside you in the grave when we all still have lives to live.”

“We would never want you to stop living your lives. We have needed our companions, and one visit a season for less than a day has never been enough. There are homes for each of you, permanent places, yet not a single one of you has stayed in them. Those were the first homes we built.” Mairuk’s shoulders slumped.

“We needed to not be alone in the dark.”

Silence hung between the two old friends.

Their companionship spanned longer than most human lifetimes.

They were not of the same cluster or collective.

There was no shared blood, but Leri was the closest thing to a sibling Mairuk had these days.

They didn’t want to hurt their friend, but the truth often held a bitter note.

“We’re sorry for our part in your pain,” Leri said. “None of us knew how to comfort you, and you were so focused on your work. We assumed you wanted to be left alone while you grieved.”

“We did not. Though we should have told you that.”

“We should have asked. Despite the mess of this situation, we are glad you aren’t alone anymore.”

Silence hung between the two Rholctai, heavy in the air. Each moment passed with agonizing slowness, but eventually, Mairuk tilted their cap in acceptance. “You are forgiven. It is the past.”

“We can’t stay for long this time, but we will come back before spring fades to summer. If you would allow it, we will bring our loktossi and stay for the season.”

“We would like that,” Mairuk said.

~

Leri offered to finish the wall alone so Mairuk could “discipline” Astoria.

Mairuk refused Leri’s suggestions, all of them too severe.

They found her with her meat cooking in a clay pot and watched as she sliced up some roots she seemed to have found while hunting.

A bucket of blood and bone waited by the door, and Bastian sat curled up under her legs, gnawing on his reserve of the carcass.

“May we help you with your meal?” Mairuk asked as they stepped inside the cabin.

Astoria stepped to the side, giving them room to approach. “If you’d like. Do you know how to cook?”

“No. We eat whatever we find when we find it, but we would like to learn.” Mairuk came up beside her and tilted their cap as they watched her slice the long, round roots into small cubes. The smell was pungent, but not unpleasant .

“I’m cutting these to make them cook more evenly.

Eating them raw or undercooked leaves the taste too sharp.

Like this, they’re all more likely to cook at the same rate and taste better.

” Astoria moved the knife slow enough for Mairuk to learn the pattern.

“Do you want to take this over for a moment?”

Mairuk nodded, and Astoria gave them the knife.

She went to the fire and checked the meat, which made the air smell like burnt flesh.

The smell churned Mairuk’s stomach. Who wanted to eat charred flesh?

The smell seemed to satisfy Astoria, though.

By the time she returned to their side, Mairuk finished chopping the roots. “Did we do this correctly?”

“You did great,” Astoria said. She scooped the chopped roots into a small bowl and took them to the fire. She added them to the pot with a small amount of water. “Will you bring me the jar on the table?”

“What is it?” Mairuk asked. The small wooden jar held small crystals Mairuk had not seen before.

“Salt. It adds flavor and draws out moisture.” Astoria sprinkled a pinch of it over the cooking meat, then set a lid on top of the pot. She returned the jar to a confused Mairuk, then plopped on the couch with a sigh.

Humans eat crystals? How peculiar. The smell faintly reminded them of the general scent of human, but simpler. They picked up a pinch of it with their finger, and the small crystals stuck to their skin. They licked it off their finger, then gagged.

Astoria laughed, and the sound became the center of Mairuk’s focus.

She piled her hair up on the top of her head and tied it there with a leather cord.

She took off the top of her hunting leathers and wore a thin linen top.

It left her pale, speckled shoulders bare.

Her heavy breasts pillowed up from the top of the band she wore to contain them and peaked over the neckline of the top.

Her laughter died down and her eyes fell closed. “I’m exhausted.”

Mairuk put the salt back where they found it and settled beside Astoria on the couch.

She popped one eye open, and they lifted their arm in invitation.

She curled up under their arm and rested her head against their chest. Mairuk gently stroked their fingers over her shoulder, and she melted into their side.

Mairuk hummed as they took her other hand in theirs.

“It has been an eventful day. You have had many emotions, and that is almost as draining as the work.”

“I’m sorry about my outbursts. I don’t know why I’m like this.

I feel everything like it’s screamed in my ears.

My mother always said my mood changed faster than the moon.

Damien helped make it better. He was always so tolerant.

Even when I let myself get caught up in my feelings.

In some ways, the numbness and grief were improvements.

It was consistent. I knew what to expect.

Now that I’ve registered other emotions again, it’s like I’m drowning in them,” Astoria murmured.

“We understand. No one was around us when our grief abated enough to let our other feelings through. Rage came back fist, and we tore down five buildings before it cooled. We drowned for the next year.” Mairuk took her small hand in their free one.

“We are here if you need us. In shared silence or with words, we can help keep your head above water when the waves get too high.”

“How do I know you mean that?”

“You will have to allow us time to prove it to you.”

Astoria chewed her lower lip. “I don’t want to be a bigger burden than I already am to you, Mairuk.”

“You are not a burden to us, Astoria. You are our companion and in time, we will be bonded. There is nothing you have to face alone unless you want to.”

“If you’re sure,” Astoria said.

“We are.” Mairuk squeezed her soft body against theirs and savored the feel of her warmth against their skin. “We have one question, though.”

“What is it?”

“Why did you shoot Leri? ”

“You were growling at them, and it looked tense.” Astoria shrugged. “I didn’t know they were one of your friends. Even if I hit their heart, your kind can recover from anything. Should I apologize?”

“In the morning, if you would like. For tonight, eat and rest. Everything else can wait until tomorrow.”

~

Astoria ate her dinner wrapped up in Mairuk’s arms, and they were grateful to be allowed to hold her.

The weight of her body against theirs in a casual touch eased the most broken pieces of their spirit.

Leaving her to tidy her dishes, they prepared her both sour root tea and a bath.

They took two blood berries to be safe. Their supply was more than enough to last until Leri’s return, which they hoped would ease Astoria’s fears.