Page 128 of When the Stars Rise

Feels like a million years ago. So much has happened since then.

“Yeah, okay, whatever you say. But Sage and Isla are just friends. End of story.” Bodhi gives us a pointed look. “Try and keep your hands off each other tonight.” He grabs his beer off the bar and makes a beeline for a blonde girl on the deck who’s barefoot and dancing on her own. He’s hooked up with her before.

I specifically remember it because she wandered into my room in the middle of the night and asked if I wanted to go skinny dipping in the ocean. I declined. Obviously.

But Bodhi disappeared for three days and when he got back, he said they drove to the desert, and she danced on the roof of the car naked in the moonlight.

When they stopped at a gas station on the drive back, she took off and said she was going to hop a bus to the East Coast. He loves shit like that. Thought it was the coolest thing. Don’t ask me why.

But I guess he’s so afraid of falling in love that he seeks out girls who will never want to be in a committed relationship.

“He’s so predictable,” Everly says watching her cousin flirting with the blonde. “Is manic pixie dream girl still a thing?”

I eye Bodhi on the deck. Women love him. He’s funny and charming, doesn’t take anything seriously, and looks like your typical surfer dude with a year-round tan and longish sun-bleached hair to his shoulders. He always says he wants to stay young forever which I attribute to his Peter Pan syndrome. “Is manic pixie dream boy?”

We both laugh.

Bodhi is a good guy though. He’d do anything for a friend and even though his advice isn’t always that helpful, his heart’s in the right place, and that’s what matters most.

“So how are you doing?” Everly asks a few minutes later.

I take a long pull of my beer and shrug. “Yeah, it’s all good.” I scan the bar. The paneled walls are covered in Route 66 signs and surfing photos and the crowd is pretty laid back, mostly surfers and locals kicking back and having a few beers with friends. So I’m not sure why I’m always looking for her in a crowd even when I know she won’t be here.

Luckily, Friday is reggae night at Mavericks, so I don’t have to worry about one of her songs coming on. Catches me out, every single fucking time.

I can’t go anywhere anymore. The other day I got hit with a double whammy when I stopped for some gas and went into the convenience store to buy a drink. “Seeing Stars at the Drive-Thru” was piping from the speakers and her face peered back at me from the cover of a magazine. The guy behind the counter said, “Hey I know you…”

I didn’t stick around to hear the rest. I bolted out of there without the drink and drove up the coast. Took me a while to realize that I’d ended up in fucking Malibu and had to turn around and drive back home.

Eighty miles separates us, but it might as well be an entire ocean, that’s how far away she feels.

I don’t even want to ask but I can’t seem to help myself. “Have you seen her since she got back?”

“Yep. I saw her a couple days ago.”

I nod a few times and wait for her to throw me a crumb.

Does Hayley miss me? Does she feel as shitty as I do? Is she sleeping at night? Does she dream about me like I dream about her?

“You shouldn’t have lied to her.”

I push my hand through my hair and blow air out of my cheeks, leaning my hip against the bar. “Yeah, okay, I shouldn’t have lied. But what should I have done? I couldn’t tell her the truth.”

Everly shakes her head and sighs. “If you couldn’t tell her the truth then maybe you shouldn’t have made plans to jump off a freaking bridge. Did you ever consider that?”

“I was going to discuss it with her after the tour. But she pushed me away again.” I rub my hand over my chest which has a constant ache that won’t go away. “We’re caught in this viciouscycle, and we can’t stop doing the same shit over and over. So it’s probably for the best we called it quits.”

I nod a few times, trying to reassure myself that it’s all for the best. “Can’t keep repeating the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome. So it’s time to let each other go. Time to move on.”

“So that’s your plan, huh? You’re just going to move on. Just like that.” Everly snaps her fingers.

She’s making it sound like it was an easy decision. “What elsecanI do? Yeah, I lied but she broke my heart. Not once. Not twice. Three fucking times.” I shake my head. “Or we broke each other’s hearts. I don’t even know anymore.”

Everly considers it for a minute. “Can’t you see what’s happening here? Every time things are going well, you sabotage it.”

I glare at her. How the hell did she come up with that? “That’s bullshit. Why would I do that when all I’ve ever wanted was to be with Hayley?”

She raises her brows. “I don’t know. You tell me.”