Page 115 of When the Stars Rise

“No. I’m all for having fun. Fun is exactly what I need. I’m open to anything, but I have one rule. We’re not talking about Noah. I don’t even want to mention his name.”

Everly nods. “He who shall not be named. Got it.”

“And don’t worry,” Isla says. “No one will recognize us so we can just have a totally fun, totally chill day out.”

I lift a skeptical brow. Everly and Isla are two of the most recognizable models in the world. Just last month, they were on the cover of Vogue. So it seems like wishful thinking that three of us can go anywhere without attracting attention.

Isla digs through her carry-on bag and pulls out a selection of wigs and outfits, tossing them on the sofa. “Voilà!”

I opt for a pink bob with thick bangs and cat-eye sunglasses. Isla goes for a short brown pixie style and Everly wears a shaggy blond wig and a straw fedora, and we hit the town. Three best friends, twenty-four hours of non-stop fun and one tattoo later, I’m officially over Noah.

I don’t miss him. Not even a little bit.

I’m just out here living my best life and I’m not thinking about him at all.

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

Noah

“She’ll come around eventually,”Bodhi says.

It’s been a week since Hayley kicked my ass to the curb. So what did I do? I dragged my battered heart down to Mexico for some tequila and cliff diving. My travel and accommodations were comped, and I’m staying at an eco-lodge in Las Quebradas—a pretty cool place.

The cliff diving is exactly the rush I needed after all the shit that went down in Salt Lake City.

But now it’s nighttime, the witching hour, when it all catches up to me again and as much as I’d love to believe Bodhi, I know he’s wrong.

I rub my hand over my chest to ease the ache and drop into the hammock in the backyard, searching for the stars. “I don’t think she will. Not this time.”

“You’ve been here before,” he insists. “You two can’t live without each other.”

“This feels different. More final, somehow.”

Last time, at least, I had a choice. All I had to do was stay home with Hayley, and everything would have been okay. But I didn’t. I left. Even after she begged me not to, I walked right out the door like an asshole. This time, though? She didn’t even give me a choice.

“Cheer up, man. Where’s the dude who always believes it will all work out? On the bright side, you’re a free agent now. Hit a bar, hook up with a girl, and you’ll feel better in the morning.”

It’s blatantly obvious that Bodhi has never had his heart broken. He’s never been in a committed relationship, so he has no idea what losing the person you love is like.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I’ve gotta run.” I have nowhere I need to be, but I’m not in the mood to force cheer into my voice. “Catch you later.”

I cut the call and light a joint. Take a deep drag and hold the smoke in my lungs for as long as I can before exhaling all my problems into the night sky.

This weed is some good shit. Acapulco Gold, baby. A one-way ticket to euphoria.

I’m not even gonna think about Hales. I’ll just get high in a hammock and chill to the music pouring through my headphones.

A bit of bud and Stick Figure singing “World on Fire” and a sea breeze. Warm night, starry skies. Doesn’t get much better than this.

I’m in the zone, floating away to unknown lands, just going wherever my mind wanders.

Dean was right, though. This is history repeating itself and my self-loathing knows no bounds.

The day Hayley and I broke up two years ago in August, I was packing my bags to leave for Victoria Falls. She was living with the St. Clair twins in Santa Monica then, and I was more or less living with her.

It was a few weeks after Zeke died, and Hayley couldn’t believe I hadn’t canceled my trip. But Zeke and I had planned it together a few months before he died—the skydiving trip and the Gorge Swing—so there was no way I was backing out.

“What do you expect me to do? I can’t just stop living. He would have wanted me to—”