Page 127 of When the Stars Rise

“I know.” I laugh. “He can’t look you in the eye and lie.” Which is why he never did. He can lie on the phone or in the darkness of a bedroom but not to my face.

“I’m so sorry, Everly. I had no idea.”

“You wouldn’t have. I only knew because Zeke… he used to talk about it. He was always searching for a better place. He just…” She bites her lip. “Zeke thought there was a better world out there and he was always talking about this great unknown. He found life really hard, and he was so self-destructive. He cheated on me just so that I’d break up with him.” She laughshollowly. “I knew him so well and I loved him so very much, yet I couldn’t follow him when he went to those dark places.”

I guess he was good at hiding it because I never would have guessed any of this about Zeke.

She lets out a breath and brushes away her tears. “He hid a lot from most of the people in his life. But he let Noah in. And I think that was so hard on Noah and so unfair to him, you know?”

This story makes me look at everything so differently. It explains so much about Noah’s behavior after Zeke died.

He was devastated, I knew that, but instead of talking about it, he tried to shut it out and he shut down. I accused him of not dealing with his emotions but knowing what I do now I can’t even begin to imagine what he was going through.

And now I’m irrationally angry with Zeke for doing this to Noah. He was right there, the first one on the scene, a witness to it all and now he has to live with that forever. Noah didn’t need any extra burdens to carry, but he’s been holding all this in for so long.

Why did he feel he needed to do this on his own? Why couldn’t he have told me? And maybe there was nothing I could have done but we could have at least talked about it.

“Are you okay?” Everly asks.

“I… I…” I shake my head. This isn’t about me. I’m not the one whose boyfriend took his own life. “I should be asking you. Are you okay?”

She shrugs. “I have good days and bad but I’m working through it. I’m glad I know the truth. It doesn’t make it any easier to deal with but now I can talk about it more openly with Noah. And I think talking about it helps both of us. Burdens are always a bit lighter when you can share them.”

My friend is so smart and so kind and generous, and I wish there was something I could do to help. But there’s only one thing I can really do.

“Tell me more about Zeke.” I reach for her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “Tell me everything.”

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

Noah

“They’re just friends,”Bodhi insists. Everly and I snort in unison. “What?” he asks, his gaze ping-ponging between me and Everly.

“Just friendsdon’t look at each other that way,” I say, my gaze drifting to the pool table in the back where Sage and the girl he picked up tonight are playing against Isla and the guy she brought with her.

Isla is leaning over the pool table, lining up her next shot, and Sage is more focused on her ass than the girl hanging on his arm.

The St. Clair twins are in Costa del Rey for Father’s Day weekend and it’s your typical Friday night at Mavericks. A bit of a dive bar but it’s walking distance to our house, so we hang out here a lot.

“I’m pretty sure I would know if one of my best friends was having sex with my cousin,” Bodhi says, visibly shuddering at the thought.

He’s wearing a faded orange Save The Sea T-shirt, boardshorts, and a stack of leather and silver bracelets that he never takes off.

Sage, Bodhi, and I spent the day surfing and came straight to the bar after catching our last wave. The key is to keep moving and stay busy so I won’t have as much time to think.

Everly rolls her eyes and tucks a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. “I never said they’re having sex. But I’m pretty sure I’d know if my twin was in love with someone,” she scoffs. “The twin bond trumps cousin every day of the week.”

Bodhi shakes his head. “They’re not in love. They’re always hooking up with other people.”

“They’re trying to make each other jealous,” I point out. It’s so obvious I can’t understand how he could miss that.

“You were in denial about me and Zeke too,” Everly tells Bodhi.

“No. You and Zeke were sneaking around.” Bodhi points a finger at her. “I specifically told you to stay away from him. What’s with you and Isla that you’re always going after my friends? Bad enough you were with Zeke, you had to fuck Noah too?”

“We didn’t fuck,” Everly and I say in unison.

“It was just a kiss,” she adds.