Page 31 of When I Forgot Us (Blue River #1)

Chapter Sixteen

She could do this. One more hard thing in a long list of difficulty that she’d managed to navigate over the last few months. It was necessary, and therefore not to be put off any longer.

Yvonne gave her an encouraging nod while setting down a cup of coffee near Michelle’s elbow and backing into the kitchen.

She’d chosen to make the phone call outside, mainly because the steady hum of Blue River calmed her. After the long weekend with Chase and the injured mare, combined with hours of prayer, she’d come to a conclusion.

It was time to have a candid conversation with her boss.

Her phone rang at exactly ten, the time she’d agreed on when first setting up this meeting for Monday morning. A twitch of her thumb answered the video call. She didn’t bother pasting on a happy smile but let her face relax into a neutral expression. “Good morning, Sherry.”

Sherry sat behind her black desk, in her usual black business suit, with the earpiece tucked behind a wave of black hair. Her fisted hands sat on top of the desk, and she examined Michelle across the distance. “You’re looking well.”

“Thank you.” It might not have been a genuine compliment, but she accepted it as one. “I’m feeling much better.”

“Good.” Sherry’s fingers clenched and released. “I’m glad you emailed me. There’s been a lot of chatter about whether you’ll return.”

“That’s why I wanted this meeting.” She flicked her fingers between them. “I appreciate you agreeing to a video chat. It makes things easier.”

“Of course. Anything for my top executive.”

A groan stuck in her throat. That was the main reason she’d waited so long to talk to Sherry. They kept calling her that, and every time she heard it, her stomach dropped. “I’m afraid I can’t hold that title any longer.”

Sherry’s head tilted, a confused expression pursing her mouth. “What do you mean? Your email hinted that you’d gotten your memory back. I assumed that meant this call was to notify me of your return.”

“I have some of my memory back.” Maybe even most of it. “But I’m still missing key points, mainly about my job.”

“That’s…frustrating.” Sherry was trying to be polite and concerned, but Michelle noted the way her clenched hands released, and she scribbled into a notepad near her elbow.

Preparing to call in the next executive banker on the list to take Michelle’s place?

A part of her wanted to be incensed, but really all she experienced was relief.

That was more telling than all the internal conversations she’d put herself through.

Sherry drilled her nails into the desk in a series of short raps. “I’ll be honest with you; I have major concerns about you returning without your full memory intact. Your impressive list of clients and the years of work it took to get you where you are today are paramount to your success.”

“Of course.” She agreed wholeheartedly. “Here’s the thing, Sherry.” The words rested on the tip of her tongue. There was no going back once she thrust them out into the conversation. “Even if my memory comes back, I’m not sure I want to leave Blue River.”

Sherry sat back with a suddenness that spoke of shock. “I see.”

Michelle waited. She’d said what she intended to say, and now she left the rest up to her boss.

“I was concerned about your ability to maintain the fullness of your career without your memory.” Sherry enunciated each word with careful precision.

Her face slipped into a businesslike mask of disinterest. “But I can see we have a deeper problem, so I’m going to ask this straight out. Are you turning in your resignation?”

“Yes.” It was a bold move, probably the most gut-wrenching business decision of her life, and it gave her a profound sense of relief.

All the tightness in her muscles relaxed.

Her heart stopped beating so hard it forced bile up her throat.

Aunt Sarah always told her to trust God with her decisions, even when her physical reactions made a decision seem easy. This was both.

A car drove past the bed and breakfast, the cough/rattle of the engine drowning out Sherry’s next words.

Michelle shook her head once the car cut down a side street and stopped in front of the mechanic shop at the end of the block. “Sorry. I didn’t hear you.”

A ghost of a smile and the rise of a single eyebrow into a sculpted arch changed Sherry’s entire expression from severe to oddly relaxed.

“I said I hope you know what you’re doing, and that I wish you well.

You’ve worked hard for the company, but you haven’t been happy for a long time.

” She rocked back and forth in her chair, another odd break in the cool demeanor she’d first shown.

“You look happier there, more at ease.” The smile dropped.

“If you get your memories back, I need you to think long and hard about whether this place makes you happy.”

“I will.”

“I mean it.” Sherry pointed one of those long, manicured nails at the screen. “We might not have ever been friends, but I respect you. I take my job as your boss seriously, but I’d be remiss in begging you to come back to a place where you’re miserable.”

“It isn’t the best image for the company if I have to force a smile every time I walk into a meeting.” She mimicked the pleasant expression that felt oddly out of place but also desperately familiar.

“Exactly.” Sherry relaxed into her seat, her posture slumped and casual.

Michelle chuckled at the sight. It seemed out of place on the uptight woman. Odd, but comforting. “If you ever need to get away from all that, come down and see me sometime.” It was the best she could offer.

Sherry scoffed, but a glint lit her eyes. “I might take you up on that someday, but don’t count on it. I’m a city girl through and through.”

“You’d be surprised how much good a little country can do.” She wiggled her fingers in a goodbye wave. “Thank you. For everything.”

“You’re welcome. Take care of yourself.” She ended the call with a flippant toss of her short hair.

Michelle smiled until her whole face ached, rocking in her wooden chair and enjoying watching life trundle past in the small midwestern town.

“I love Sundays.” Michelle stretched her arms out by her sides and twirled in a small circle.

The call with her boss almost a week ago had freed her in more ways than she anticipated.

All the angst of her future lingered, but stress over returning to a job she’d started to despise fell away, leaving her light and carefree.

Her days at the ranch were calm if slightly tense as she and Chase worked with each other while continuing to avoid having any more meaningful conversations.

They talked about the horses, the ranch, and her newest memories.

She dug into their past, asking herself questions until late into the night. It all came back to the same thing.

Her feelings for Chase were stronger than ever.

And she was flat-out tired of ignoring them.

Respect for Chase kept her quiet, but the lingering looks and softness in his eyes when he looked at her offered glimpses of hope.

“Honey, you are so deep in love with him it shines like a new penny.” Aunt Sarah tsked, but her smile cut in. She hugged Michelle to her side and marched them toward the church, a series of hellos ringing out from every side.

Michelle greeted those she’d remembered by name and weaved between the pastor and the door to drop into her favorite pew.

Chase sat to her right, several pews up.

Her chosen spot gave her a clear view of his profile, though she tried not to stare at him.

The whole point of church was supposed to be a communion with God.

She didn’t dare break that with her ogling.

She had plenty of observation time in the barn during the week.

The church filled, nearly all the townsfolk taking their usual seats minutes before the music began.

Aunt Sarah was one of the last to sit, dropping to the pew as the first strains of the piano filled the lofty building with sweetness.

Michelle closed her eyes and let it all wash through her.

Peace unlike anything she’d ever expected to find soared up in cresting waves.

For the first time in her life, she understood what the Bible meant when it asked her to trust God fully with her life.

Her annoyance at the platitudes had vanished, and in its place, she held a firm belief that her life had purpose and meaning.

Bad things happened. Often to good people. That did not make God a bad God.

She clasped her hands and bowed her head, her lips moving along with everyone else as Pastor Thomas called them to pray.

He always took the stage with a kind of shyness that fell away the moment he opened the Bible.

Pastor Thomas preached from the book of Proverbs, telling them a story of strife and woe that put her to shame.

It wasn’t a competition on who suffered the most. She realized that early on. God loved each of them equally.

By the time she raised her head from the closing prayer, she knew what she had to do. She’d honored Chase’s request for time. And she refused to push him into anything, but the love she felt for him wouldn’t stay on the sidelines anymore.

He deserved to know.

Church dismissed, and the initial rush of standing and clustering together in small groups for a quick chat hemmed her in.

She chatted and shook hands, agreed with Mrs. Perry that the new fire chief definitely should introduce himself at the next council meeting, and accepted a piece of candy from Mr. Tillman.

All these things had become part of her Sunday routine, and she loved every minute.

The sunshine that poured in through the church windows brightened every face and set her heart at ease.

Walking outside and catching sight of Chase standing in front of his truck with his hands deep in his pockets and his hat shielding his eyes stopped her heart in its tracks.

“You know what I find funny?”