Page 2 of When I Forgot Us (Blue River #1)

Michelle tagged along. What else was she supposed to do?

This walk down memory lane might rip her mind open and give her life back.

She wasn’t about to pass up that chance.

The oddity of walking down the street in a place where she’d grown up but had no memory of raised goosebumps on her arms despite the heat.

She shivered in her t-shirt and stuck her hands in the back pockets of her canvas shorts.

Her sneakers scuffed along on the sidewalk, drawing her attention to the smooth stretch that boasted buckets of flowers hanging from the antique iron lampposts.

Color popped every twelve steps, and she stopped to sniff a cluster of pink flowers. “What are these?”

“Pansies.” A bold laugh roared out, and Sarah slapped her leg.

“I’ve always loved that. Pansy. It’s supposed to be an insult when someone is called a pansy, but stick around long enough and you’ll find out they’re one of the hardiest flowers.

They’ll be blooming long after everything else gives up and dies. ”

That was…oddly encouraging. Michelle smoothed a petal between her thumb and forefinger. “They’re beautiful.”

“Yep. They’re my favorites. Always have been. Oh.” Sarah snapped her fingers. “If you’re willing, the church is just over this hill. I try and ride the bus to services when we can find a driver.”

“They don’t have one on staff?” She released the flower before she tore through the fragile petals and looked in the direction Sarah walked.

Sarah’s short grunt gave a sense of disappointment. “Only on the weekdays and for emergencies.”

A church spire rose above the shops in a sharp triangle.

A single cross sat atop the spire in what many might consider a beacon of hope.

What did she believe? In the days after her accident, she’d been encouraged by the hospital’s chaplain to put her trust in God.

It felt familiar but not, like she understood his sentiment but struggled to follow through.

If God was to be trusted, why had He let her lose her memory?

What good could possibly come from her accident?

She’d become a stranger in her own skin, an unwilling participant in a meaningless cascade of problematic situations with no solution.

“I’ll take you to church as long as I’m here.

” The words erupted from her almost against her will.

Curiosity snatched at her confusion and forced them out.

She wished them back for all of two seconds, until she saw the relief in Sarah’s eyes and the way her shoulders sagged in obvious relief.

“It’s good to have you here.” Sarah patted her arm once and continued her walking tour. “Come on. I promised to introduce you to the Blake family.”

Names blurred as Sarah continued talking. Michelle nodded along, only partially listening while scanning the town and the few people making their way through life.

One thing became obvious: people here loved Sarah.

They were stopped a dozen times before reaching the grocery store, and every person greeted her aunt by name, asked how she was doing, and wished her well.

They were polite to Michelle and not overly curious, accepting Sarah’s thirty-second explanation that she was on her way to the grocery store and moving along.

The lost feeling that had started as she lay in the hospital bed settled deep in her heart and thrummed out an unsteady refrain that she didn’t belong here.

Did she belong anywhere? The few days she’d spent in her city apartment before leaving for Blue River had been tinged with that same sense of despair.

“Here we are.” A quick wave and the automatic door opened. Sarah walked straight in and to the right, going to the cash register where a middle-aged man sat with a newspaper spread out across the counter. “Morning, Herbert.”

The man looked over the rim of his glasses, and his weathered cheeks creased.

“Well, now, look who’s come to see me.” He stood and braced his palms on the counter.

“And brought some company.” Watery blue eyes squinted, frown lines appearing on either side of his mouth. “It can’t be little Michelle.”

Little Michelle?

“Don’t mind him.” Aunt Sarah huffed. “He calls anyone under the age of forty little.”

“Humph.” Herbert skirted the counter. “I say it because it’s true. All these kids been coming in here since they were this big.” He held his hands a foot apart. “Even you.” He shook a finger toward Michelle. “You used to come in here with your mama when you weren’t no bigger than a puppy.”

She tried to maintain her smile, but it faltered at the crushing weight of how much she’d lost. Course, she wouldn’t remember those years even without the amnesia, but what about later?

Herbert continued, oblivious to her discomfort. “Then, when you started school, she’d bring you by here every evening to pick out a sucker. You always wanted a red one. But I don’t have to tell you that.”

Her mouth flooded with saliva, and a hint of memory tempted her tastebuds.

Grinning, he plucked a bright red lollipop from a turntable stand and held it out. “Glad to have you back.”

“Thanks.” Another automatic answer, and she took the candy from his outstretched grasp. The scent tantalized her, the overwhelming Nelson flavor seeping through the plastic wrapper.

“Where’s Clair?” Sarah rose onto her tiptoes and peered over Herbert’s shoulder. “I’m showing Michelle around in case she needs anything while she’s here.”

Herbert’s bushy white brows cramped together into a line that resembled a fluffy caterpillar. “She’s home with the grands today. Be back tomorrow.”

“Well, I suppose we’ll be on our way.” Sarah brushed her palms together. “Done and dusted on this side of town. How about that ride?”

“Um. Sure.” She familiarized herself with the store’s layout and read the overhead signs designating the food aisles before leaving. “He doesn’t know about my memory loss?” It came out high-pitched at the end, turning it into a question.

Sarah strode ahead, her chin up and gaze set on the road leading out of town. “Figured it wasn’t my place to blabber about your amnesia. Yvonne knows, but she’ll keep it close. A couple others too. I told Maude, my best friend.”

“Maude?” The name rolled around in her head with the force of a pinball in a machine. It clattered and clanged, and another snatch of memory tried to shake loose. She mentally lunged for it, only for the snippet to dart away and hide in the dark.

Sarah watched her with keen interest, and Michelle realized she’d stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and stood there with her mouth twisted into a frown that caused her whole face to ache.

“I thought we’d drive over and see her. You used to call her Ma Nelson because you couldn’t say Maude.

She lives on Blue Diamond Ranch with her son.

” She stopped and rolled her lips together.

The rapid-fire stream of information pounded and attempted to settle. Ma Nelson. It had that same softness to it, a warming sensation that spread through her with no hint of why.

“What’s her son’s name?” Her heart gave an unsteady lurch. She knew these people. The way her body reacted told her as much, even if her poor brain withheld the information.

“Chase.”

She’d heard that name already today. Was it the same person? “Do you think seeing them will bring my memory back?”

“Can’t say for sure. And I’m not going to give you false hope.

You came here to rest and heal. I’m hoping a little time with the people you used to know will spark something.

” Her aunt did that flat-mouthed expression again, which Michelle was beginning to believe meant she knew more but kept from saying it.

When she spoke again, her voice had taken on a softer tone.

“I’m not trying to force you to remember.

Maude helped me do a little research on amnesia once I knew you were coming.

Everything we read says you can’t force memories to return.

The harder you try, the longer it might take. ”

“I’m not sure I know how to stop.” It was the most honest thing that came to mind. “I hate not knowing who I am. Six months of memories are not enough. It’s like living a stranger’s life. Every second of every day is a nerve-wracking experience.”

“I want to tell you to be strong and have faith.” Sarah reached out and grasped Michelle’s elbows.

“I want to tell you it’ll all be okay, and that God has everything under control.

Those are the things that always help me, but I’ve never been where you are.

I don’t know what to say or do to help, and I don’t want to make you feel like I’m trivializing what you’ve been through. ”

Hot tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “What if I never get my memory back?”

Lips parted but no words filled the chasm of silence her question threw between them. Sarah ran her palms up and down the backs of Michelle’s arms.

They stood that way long enough for her to regain control of her emotions and pull her keys from her pocket.

“Let’s take that drive.” She’d given in to the fear and panic, and now it was time to get back to the purpose for her visit.

“Exploring and meeting people I used to know might shake something loose. Might as well give it a try.”

“Atta girl.” Sarah’s cheerfulness brightened the melancholy.

Michelle almost asked but kept silent in the end.

They made their way along the sidewalk to where she’d parked her car.

She slipped behind the wheel and waited for Sarah to join her.

Seatbelts clicked, the nearly silent hum of the engine disappearing when Sarah turned on the radio and flipped through the stations.

She stopped on one where a quiet man rattled off the latest Nebraska news.

“That’s Dan, our newsman. You want to know anything about Blue River, you check in on his station a couple times a day.

He has the tea, as the youngsters are saying nowadays.

” Her eyes twinkled when she laughed. “Head that way.” She pointed north, and Michelle backed into the road and guided them toward a place she hoped held the key to her memory.