Page 11 of When I Forgot Us (Blue River #1)

Chapter Six

Yesterday’s hike with Chase and the lunch afterward became the highlight of Michelle’s night.

It was as though her mind latched onto the day and demanded it be put on replay, every second of the day playing out in minute detail.

She remembered the way Chase smiled at the church, the feel of his hand around hers as they bolted.

It had felt genuine and good. Two things she had no memory of feeling before.

The steady ache in her heart refused to abate, so she fed it the memory to keep the pain controlled.

Aunt Sarah had talked all the way back to the assisted living facility, and Michelle had walked her inside, checking out the place where her only remaining family lived.

Aunt Sarah had a quaint little apartment tucked into a corner, with roommates on either side. Both women had come out to greet Sarah and meet Michelle, and she’d been thrilled to sit with them for two hours as they taught her how to play cards.

No one asked her any questions. They couldn’t care less about her lack of memory. All they cared about was whether she understood the rules of war.

War, she learned, was a card game that could go on for hours. She’d eventually given up and handed her cards to Sarah, much to her neighbors’ dismay. Aunt Sarah had cackled and kissed her on the cheek while wishing her a safe trip to the B&B.

The night passed in that slow, methodical way she’d learned to accept. Her fractured dreams teased her and left her annoyed upon waking.

It wasn’t until she pulled up outside Chase’s barn and climbed out of the truck that peace returned.

Her muscles relaxed the instant her feet slammed into the packed ground.

A horse whinnied in the distance, and another answered.

She followed the sound, turning and dropping her hands on top of the car to get a better look.

Chase and two other cowboys rode her way. She recognized his outline and experienced a jolt of admiration at the easy way he sat in the saddle. Of course he rode well. He’d grown up in the saddle.

An image flashed in her mind, followed by a voice…a much younger version of her voice. She didn’t know how she knew, but the knowledge locked in.

“Slow down. I don’t ride as good as you. You’re leaving me behind.” Saddle leather creaked, and she gathered up the reins between her fingers.

Laughter. The voice of a boy not yet a man filled her thoughts. “I’ll never leave you behind, Michelle. Not ever.” He rode a palomino in front of her. Long legs dangled, narrow shoulders beginning to fill out. His head swiveled toward her…

The memory ended before he turned, but the feel of leather in her hands remained. Her fingers twitched, the phantom feeling evaporating.

“No.” She grasped for the slippery moment, but like all the others, it fell away into the dark abyss.

“What’s wrong?” Chase rode through the gate and right up to the trunk of her car. He dismounted and dropped one rein, leaving the horse behind.

“Nothing.” She’d grown tired of making every day about her amnesia.

Today, she hoped to break free from the struggle and enjoy her time at the ranch.

The slip of her past rooted somewhere. It gave her hope that someday the rest of her memories would return.

Why continue bothering him with her issues?

He didn’t owe her anything. It was her problem.

Time she started dealing with it and stopped dragging everyone else into her mess.

Where had the sudden independence come from? Or had she always possessed it, and the memory yanked it loose from the blank slate of her personality like how the sarcasm had emerged a few days ago? “What am I working on today?”

He stared hard at her for several seconds, his face tightened in hard lines like he wanted to push but wasn’t sure how or if he should. With a grunt, he relented and backtracked to the horse. “Feed and water first. Then I need to check the hay barn.” He grinned.

“And how do we get to the barn?”

His laugh tickled the back of her mind, reminding her of a warm fire flickering on a cold night.

“We can ride horses or take the truck.” He led the horse toward the barn, pointing at the feed room as he passed.

“Your boots are in there. Let me get Hershel put up and I’ll walk you through the feeding schedule. ”

She retreated to the feed room, dropped onto the stoop, and yanked off her sneakers. The bright blue and white glared in the warm browns and tans of the barn. Everything from the wooden walls to the dirt ground made the whole thing appear dingy.

It was the opposite from her apartment. Why did sitting here with her shoes in her hand and a pair of old brown boots by her feet give her a sense of purpose?

A shudder in her spine and the world tipped sideways. Another memory rushed past.

“You really want to ride in the rodeo?” Her legs ached, and her fingers were pressed deep into a horse’s mane. A bracelet on her right wrist scratched the sensitive skin when she twisted it around and fidgeted with the horseshoe charm.

The boy in front of her doffed his cap and slapped it to his chest. Late afternoon sunshine limned his silhouette and stretched his shadow across the ground.

He reached out a hand, and his shadow touched the tip of her horse’s nose.

“Not really.” He slapped the hat back in place and scrambled into his saddle.

“I’m going to be a cowboy. A real cowboy who rides all day.

My horses won’t buck, and my cows won’t be mean. ”

She laughed a bright, giggly sound.

“Michelle?”

Chase’s voice startled her, and she jumped, slapping a hand over her heart.” What?”

He pointed at the boots. “Are they the wrong size?”

“I don’t know.” She dropped her sneaker and tugged on the right boot, then the left. “They’re a little tight, but I think they’re supposed to be that way.”

“Let me see.” He dropped into a crouch, one knee on the ground, and set her booted foot on his bent leg. “Does this hurt?” His thumb and forefinger squeezed the sides of her foot beneath her toes.

“I don’t feel much. Just the pressure.” Almost the same as the pressure in her head. Who was the boy in her memory? He’d made her laugh and wasn’t afraid to speak his truth.

Chase tugged her jeans down over the boot and checked the other one. “Wiggle your toes.”

She did. Unlike with her sneakers, the toes of the boots didn’t move with her. The stiff leather encased her calves and offered her a sense of protection from the horses’ hooves. A strangled feeling in her chest unraveled.

He grunted that sound she found amusing.

“You talk to your mama with that mouth?” Her laughter came out so fast and hard that she snorted.

Chase reared back from her, shock spreading across his face. He palmed his mouth, but she caught the smile he tried to hide. When he stood and held out a hand, she grasped it and let him pull her to her feet.

Her laughter and the sudden motion drove her off balance, and she staggered sideways until he looped his arm around her waist and held her upright. “Easy.”

Heat raced through her when he chuckled. That same warm glow started in her heart and spread through her entire body.

His face lit up, the amusement crinkling the corners of his eyes. “What’s gotten into you?”

“You.” She poked him in the chest, pulling away at the same time. “You sound like a pig when you grunt like that.” She made a snorting sound and slapped a hand over her mouth.

Chase leaned his shoulder on the wall and crossed his ankles. His shoulders shook, and just when she thought he’d found a way to control himself, he burst out in a loud bellow of laughter.

Several horses snorted back and poked their heads out to check out the noise.

Michelle’s amusement ripped out. She bent at the waist, anchoring her hands on her thighs, and laughed until the room spun around her. When she tried to straighten, her ribs ached, forcing her to brace them with her arms around her waist. “I…can’t…breathe.”

Chase wiped tears from his eyes, his shoulders continuing to quake. “I’ve never had anyone call me a pig before.” He took off his hat and fanned his face with the brim.

“Sorry.” She gasped for breath and tried again to stand up straight.

“Don’t apologize.” He used the heel of his hand to wipe his face again. “It’s worth it to laugh like that.”

“I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this.” She patted her cheeks and smirked at him. “Pun intended.”

“Everything okay in here?” Maude peeked around the edge of the double doors.

“Fine.” Michelle wiggled her fingers at the older woman. “I think I’ve made Chase second-guess my sanity.”

“Not even close.” His laughter drifted off with the light bubbling of butterfly wings.

She sniffed back the remaining giggles and leaned her head back. “Okay. I’m better now. Let’s get to work.”

He shot amused looks her way while explaining how much feed to give each horse, giving her a rundown of the horse’s personality and quirks as they walked back and forth from the feed room to the individual stalls.

“You’ve already met Samson’s toxic trait.

” He stepped out of the stall right as Samson picked up a hoof and stomped it back down. “Missed me.”

Another laugh threatened to burst out. She choked it down, swallowing hard. How did he show such patience? Had he learned it over time, or was he one of those people born with an inordinate amount of grace?

“What about her?” She stopped at Sasha’s stall. “I noticed she always puts her ears back, but she doesn’t seem to be in a bad mood.” A few more hours on YouTube last night had given her more insight into equine body language, but Sasha confused her.

“She doesn’t like being in here, so she’s a bit mad about the whole situation.” He held out his hand to the mare, and she lipped up the treat from his palm. “But she’s too sweet to be mad.”

Made sense.