Page 5 of We May Be Fractured

Stranded in London

[Now playing ? Dreamin ft. blackbear—The Score]

I t had all gone from bad to worse, real quick.

A night that was supposed to be forgettable had turned into a giant mess.

Maybe Aaron wasn’t as lucky as everyone said when he’d survived that car crash. Maybe surviving was the real curse. Perhaps he had it coming.

Perched on a frost-kissed bench in Greenwich Park at the break of dawn, Aaron held his phone in hands going numb from the cold, feeling the chill even through his trousers.

He had almost nothing left, no mates around, hardly any cash, and nowhere to head to.

The unused ticket to Australia mocked him from his lock screen, a brutal reminder of his missed flight.

By now, he should have been on his way to the other side of the world. Instead, he was stuck here in London. Alone. Homeless.

Well, in theory, he could go back to Aunt Olivia’s and plan everything again, but shame and the thought that she believed he was already on a plane held him back. He didn’t want to be a burden to her again. She’d done enough.

Aaron released a foggy breath and fiddled with his phone. Idle swipes took him through Instagram, where, among the selfies and happy snaps, he stumbled upon photos of the Southern Lights.

It should’ve been him posting something like that, sitting beneath an aurora-lit sky rather than the cloudy one above him, as grey as the pigeons bobbing around his feet.

He was meant to see those lights with his own eyes, feel the magic they whispered about, not squint at them through someone else’s lens.

Aaron recalled the first time Tori had shared the secret of the Lights with him as kids.

It had been yet another of those evenings filled with their parents’ heated arguments, the walls not doing their best to muffle the harsh words.

They’d found refuge in Tori’s room, where they’d turned pillows into forts and blankets into barriers, reading books or playing games; inside, it felt like they were miles away from all the noise.

“Aarie , guess what? I’ve found something cool,” Tori had said, her eyes sparkling like the stars he’d often seen in her space books.

“Imagine we’re in this huge place, bigger than any park we’ve seen, and the sky is glowy and dancing with all sorts of colours, like… like a giant night light, but cooler!”

“Colours like what?”

Tori had hesitated, her smile faltering.

“You don’t have to see it the way others do.

Actually, it’s even better if you don’t.

It’s more about the feeling than the colour.

You know when we play in the sea, how it feels all cool and splashy?

That’s the blue. And green is the grass we hide in, all tickly and fresh.

And you can see blues and greens meeting in the sky. ”

“So, it’s like…like magic in the sky?”

“Even better! It’s this special thing called the Southern Lights, all the way in Australia. Legends say that the Lights are a bridge from this world to the next, and that if you make a wish while looking at them, it will come true.”

“Really?”

“Maybe. Who knows? One day, though, we’ll be there, watching those lights, wishing for a better future, and there’ll be kangaroos and koalas around us.

It’ll be our magic place.” She’d turned on a small lamp that changed colours beneath the sheets, making their blanket fort glow in different shades.

She waved her hands around, pretending to paint the air.

“See? Like this. It’s not just about the colours.

It’s the air, the stars, the light dancing, way bigger and in the sky.

It’s like…the best show in the world, only for us! ”

Aaron had nodded, wide-eyed and full of belief. Tori could turn any story into an adventure. And in the hush of her reading, with the pages whispering tales of far-off lands, he’d found a peace that felt like…well, love.

Those childhood dreams were now mere fragments, as shattered as the glass that had scarred Aaron on that dreadful day, both on his body and deep within his heart.

With a shaky finger numbed by the cold, he scrolled through his contacts and tapped on Tom’s, his would-be flatmate down in Australia. As he hit the call button, a stark warning flashed on the screen: 10 percent battery remaining. Aaron ignored it.

“Aaron, mate! How are things?” Tom’s voice, cheerfully oblivious, contrasted sharply with the storm brewing in Aaron’s chest. “Shouldn’t you be on your way here by now?”

Aaron hesitated. “Hey, Tom, I, uh…kinda hit a bit of a hiccup. I’ve missed my flight.”

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end. “Oh, man. Grabbing another one, then?”

Another pause, longer this time. “Well, um…not exactly. I might have been caught with some weed last night and hit an officer, so they slapped me with community service. A hundred hours over four months.”

“Bloody hell, Aaron. So, you’re not coming, then?”

Clearing his throat, Aaron tried to keep his voice steady. “Need to sort this shit out first.”

“Oh, right,” Tom said, a heavy dose of disappointment in his tone. “You know, I was counting on you being here. I held on to that room just for you, but this changes everything. I really need to find a new flatmate now.”

A knot of panic tightened in Aaron’s stomach. “Wait…are you telling me you can’t hold the room for me anymore?”

Tom let out a long sigh. “Wish I could, but I’ve got bills to pay.”

“Shit,” Aaron muttered to himself.

“Call me back when you’re ready to come. I’m sure we can figure something out then. But for now, the room’s gone.”

“What about the summer job at the wildlife park?”

Tom hesitated long enough for Aaron to sense the incoming bad news. “About that…they won’t wait for you either.”

Aaron cursed again.

“Look, Aaron, I get it. This isn’t just a trip for you. It’s about Tori, and I understand you wanted everything to align perfectly, the way you two had planned. But you’ve been waiting a long time, a few more months won’t be the end of the world.”

But it was.

At eighteen and a half, Aaron was exactly the age Tori had been when the lethal car crash stole her dreams and her future; it had been right after she’d won a scholarship to her dream university in Sydney.

Every day, Aaron felt as though he was walking in her shadow, haunted by the life and opportunities she’d never experience while he continued living.

If he hadn’t switched seats with Tori in the back of the car, perhaps she would still be here.

The doctors had told him his spot was why he’d made it.

It wasn’t fair, him being the sole survivor. If someone in his family had to survive, it should’ve been Tori. She was special; he was nothing.

“The Lights, Tom. It’s the last chance to see them before summer comes in.”

“The Lights aren’t a one-time event. They’ll be back next winter.”

“Yes, I know that, but—”

“Aaron, you know I loved your sister, right?” Tom’s voice wavered, betraying his own pain.

He, too, had lost someone special. His girlfriend.

“I miss her every day too. And she…she’d want us to see the bigger picture.

Finish what you have to do in London, and then come.

There’ll be other jobs, other opportunities. We’ll figure it out.”

“You don’t understand. I have to…” Aaron choked out. The last dregs of his battery had finally given out, leaving him surrounded by silence and unsaid words.

Clenching his teeth, he slammed his hand on the bench. Some pigeons, too close to him, scattered in a frenzy. He’d always found those birds annoying; in this moment, he loathed them even more.

As they bolted, Aaron’s head started to spin.

His heartbeat thudded in his ears, his legs about to give out any second.

Aaron buried his face in his hands, his whole body quivering with frustration.

It was as if the universe was messing with him on purpose, making his already washed-out world even duller.

He toyed with the pendant hanging around his neck, each edge a sharp reminder of what he’d lost and what he still needed to find. This very piece had been wedged between his and Tori’s clasped hands as the car flipped, coming to rest upside down on the motorway.

The past seeped through the scars, pinning him here: wide awake, unable to move.

“Hold on to a happy thought, and we’ll fly away to Neverland, okay?” Tori had somehow managed to whisper amid the wreckage, her hand never leaving his. “Don’t let go.”

But holding on to a happy thought without Tori was hard.

Clutching his dead phone, Aaron mumbled, barely audible even to himself, “Tori, I’m so, so sorry. I tried…I really did.”

Leaves rustled and shuffled around him. A massive, bear-like black dog bounded up, nosing and licking at his knee, perhaps catching the scent of stale booze and crisps from last night’s party. Its owner, a woman all neat with her hair up, tried to haul it back, but the dog wasn’t having any of it.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she half-smiled, apologetic but warm.

Aaron managed a shrug and patted the dog, feeling a twinge of something bittersweet. Once, he’d asked his parents if they could keep a stray cat he’d found, but pets were off-limits at home. Everything had to be in order, with no room for chaos or mess.

“Are you okay, love?” Her tone held genuine concern as she gave him a once-over.

In his stained Squid Game tracksuit, scars crisscrossing his skin, and likely with bags under his eyes, Aaron must’ve painted quite a picture.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” The lie slipped smoothly off his tongue, a reflex born from years of secrecy with his parents. “Just partied a bit too hard last night and thought I’d walk off the hangover.”

“Oh, to be young and reckless,” she commented lightly. “At least it’s a beautiful stroll here. Taking in the view, are you?” She waved a hand at the trees surrounding them. “It’s a pretty time of year, autumn.”

Aaron swept absentmindedly over the fallen leaves while she talked about how autumn lifted spirits before winter rolled in with its cold, grey grip.

When she and her dog moved on, he sighed, his vision slipping out of focus.

Why did people always wax lyrical about the fall colours? To him, it was all just a greenish-brown hodgepodge. Kind of like his life right now, all muddled up with this bloody community service he’d got roped into.

Aaron let out a long breath, mumbling under his breath, “Everything sucks.”

Shit Happens

[Now playing ? Podcast, Ep. 10—Shit Happens—Don’t Listen To Me]

Some days, everything feels like a giant pile of shit.

Or perhaps it’s been like this for a while now.

It’s as if the world has a grudge against us. Maybe all the misfortunes that befall us are nothing but the result of karma for some wrong we’ve done.

Well…let me tell you: The world doesn’t give a shit about us. Not even one bit.

There’s no karma or conspiracy plotting against us. We are insignificant, and what happens to us, just happens, period. It comes about, and all we can do is take a deep breath, flush the crap, and move on.

Someone wiser than me, Lao Tzu, once said: “Instead of cursing the darkness, it’s better to light a candle.” Simple, right? Why the hell didn’t I think of that earlier?

Now, I don’t know if these philosophical nuggets genuinely serve any purpose or if they showcase my secret collection of aphorisms on Pinterest. What I do know is that complaining leads to nothing, and nothing’s going to go right unless we decide it should.

So, let’s roll up our sleeves and put on those ridiculous fluorescent vests. It’s work time.

Today’s soundtrack is “Welcome To Paradise” by Green Day.

And as per usual, no thanks for tuning in, loser.

I’m Psycho, and this is “Don’t Listen To Me.”

[ Closing ? Welcome to Paradise—Green Day]