Page 40 of We May Be Fractured

Landon looked down, then at Aaron with a half-smile. “Oh, the piercing? Yeah, it was pretty painful. But that was ages ago. I hardly notice it now.”

“I like it. Suits you.”

Landon didn’t add anything, and the lengthening silence pointed to his turn. Aaron hesitated, his hand gripping the hem of his T-shirt.

“You don’t have to take it off if you’re not comfortable.”

Thinking of that time in the summer house, when Landon had been so considerate after seeing him shirtless, was enough to help Aaron make up his mind. He peeled off his T-shirt and let it drop to the floor.

Landon paused, his gaze sweeping over Aaron, taking in every detail. The intensity and burning desire there set Aaron alight as Landon’s eyes traced every part of him, not just his skin but also the scars and the stories beneath them.

It made Aaron feel vulnerable. It made Aaron feel strong.

Then they were back at it, moving onto the bed as one. Aaron sank into the soft mattress, Landon’s weight on top of him as their lips sought each other again; their chests brushed together.

Kissing was different skin against skin.

When Landon’s cool fingers slipped under the waistband of Aaron’s joggers, a shiver ran through his spine.

“You still okay?” Landon murmured, his lips close to Aaron’s.

Aaron nodded. “I’ll tell you to stop if I want you to stop.”

That earned a faint smile from Landon, his mouth grazing against Aaron’s cheekbone, causing another shiver.

Much as he did with tattoos, Landon turned into an artist with his lips, riding each wave of gooseflesh from Aaron’s chin down to his neck.

He continued across the scars on his abdomen, each kiss as soft as a brushstroke, smoothing away the rough edges of the memory tied to those nasty marks.

Bit by bit, Aaron let go of all of his layers, lying there bare under Landon.

“Any preference?” Landon asked with the same casualness one might use when choosing from a restaurant menu.

“Uh…I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been with a guy, but we never—” A warm flush crept down his nape. “You know…went all the way.”

Landon rolled his eyes. Maybe he was annoyed by Aaron’s inexperience.

“Didn’t Ria lecture you on this already? Penetration isn’t the be-all, end-all of sex.”

“No, yeah, I know that, but—”

“There’s no but,” Landon cut in. “I wasn’t planning on that today. There’s plenty of other stuff we can do. Just asking where you want to start.”

“What did you have in mind? And have you…”

“Yes.” Landon’s response was swift.

“And was it— How…” Aaron stumbled over his words, unsure of what exactly he was trying to ask. And why was it suddenly so difficult to string together a coherent sentence?

“It can be good, but it’s okay if you’re not up for it.”

Aaron scratched his chest as if that gesture alone could calm his pounding heart and all the emotions and thoughts bubbling up inside him, ready to burst out.

He wanted this . He wanted Landon.

“I think I’d like to try,” he said finally. “With you. Sometime. Would you?”

Landon gazed at him for the longest moment. “Yes. With you. Sometime.”

They kissed again. Landon’s hands roamed over Aaron, mapping him out. As they moved lower, Aaron’s thoughts briefly flickered to a similar time with someone else, one that hadn’t been so great. But this was different.

This time, Aaron responded, craving Landon’s touch. He now understood what his mates had been on about—that urge to be close, to feel that rush of pleasure. He wanted it like never before.

Despite a tingling itch to touch Landon, Aaron kept his hands to himself. He found a spot on the headboard to rest them, his fingers discovering a small dent in the wood.

Landon kissed him softly, then guided Aaron’s hands to his shoulders. “It’s okay. You can touch me here.”

Aaron allowed his fingers to glide over Landon’s warm skin, tracing the tattooed outlines of rose petals and leaves. He wanted to dive further but stayed within the boundaries.

Landon moved lower, his lips pausing just below Aaron’s navel, a single nod from Aaron all the confirmation he needed to continue.

Aaron closed his eyes and let Landon pin him down, pulling him apart and holding him together all at once.

He gripped Landon’s shoulders, trembling as though chilled, yet sweat beaded on his skin as if he were aflame.

Landon’s warmth enveloped him, and he lost himself in the scent of coffee, coconut, smoke, and clean sheets.

He couldn’t contain the strangled noise that escaped his lips, his fingers brushing against Landon’s neck in search of better purchase.

But suddenly, the warmth vanished.

Blinking in confusion, Aaron found Landon now sitting at the edge of the bed, staring out the window. He shifted closer to him, still unsure, and reached out towards Landon’s shoulder tentatively. “Landon…”

“No,” Landon cut in firmly.

Aaron pulled away, folding his hands in his lap.

He kept his eyes fixed on Landon, still staring outside the window, lost in his own world.

Aaron had never been great at picking up on subtle changes in skin tones, but he was certain Landon’s face right now was the same unsettling shade of his waking nightmares.

He tried again, softer this time, “Landon…” wanting to reconnect the dots that seemed to have scattered when, just a second ago, there’d been no space at all between them.

But Landon was unresponsive, his fingers clenched so tight on his trousers, wrinkling the fabric. Then he sprang up, snatched his phone, and stormed off into the bathroom, the door banging shut behind him.

Aaron sat there, listening to the sound of running water, feeling a million miles away from Landon. He got dressed and settled on the desk, staring out at the grey clouds. What had set Landon off like that?

After what seemed ages, the bathroom door opened, and Landon came back into the room.

“You’re still here?” he blurted out, water dripping off his hair and chin. He was still shirtless, and though he seemed more relaxed, the anger on his face wasn’t a welcome change.

“Where was I supposed to go?”

“To your room, outside, anywhere but here,” Landon snapped, irritation oozing from every word as he grabbed his jumper off the floor and jerked it on.

“You invited me in.”

“And now I’m telling you to leave.”

Aaron stood his ground, locking eyes with Landon. “Did I do something wrong?”

That seemed to wind Landon up even more. “You’re missing the whole point of rule one. We have a bit of fun, and then you leave. End of.”

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Landon…” Aaron pleaded, his frustration growing. “How am I supposed to avoid messing up again if you don’t tell me what I did wrong?”

“You can’t,” Landon shot back. Aaron was about to argue, but Landon was quicker. “You can’t because it’s not your fault.”

Those words hit Aaron hard, like a punch in the gut. “Look, we don’t have to do anything at all. I know I said yes, but I won’t die if we don’t have sex.”

Landon went quiet, then sat on the bed, back against the headboard and legs pulled up. He hid his face in his knees, took a couple of deep breaths, and looked up, resignation clear. “So, that first night, were you being honest about not caring for or enjoying sex?”

Aaron took a deep breath himself. “It’s complicated.

I’m kind of on the asexual spectrum.” He made a vague gesture in the air to draw it but didn’t quite do a good job at pinpointing where exactly he fell on that line.

“Let’s say I only enjoy sex in certain situations.

” He chose not to get into the nitty-gritty of demisexuality just then.

The specific details didn’t seem vital for Landon to grasp right now, particularly as they appeared to be on different wavelengths emotionally and sexually.

Landon looked lost. “So, like, were you enjoying this, or…”

“No, yeah, I was. A lot.”

“As much as you enjoy running, or music, or getting lost in a good series?”

Aaron smiled. “More, I’d say. What about you? Were you enjoying it?”

Landon mumbled a soft, “Yes” and rubbed his cheek against his trousers. “It’s only that…” His eyes darkened, and he searched for something out the window, past Aaron.

Aaron sat next to him on the bed, cross-legged, careful not to touch him. “You know when Nyle tried hitting on me when we first met?”

Landon paused, then nodded.

“I’m not great with unexpected touching either. But you…you’re different. I feel safe with you. I know you won’t cross any lines, and I won’t either. I won’t take anything you’re not ready to give.”

Landon stretched out his legs and lay back on the bed with a little pat to the space next to him as an invitation. Aaron took the hint and joined him as they had on Primrose Hill, resting his hands on his belly. Together, they gazed up at the starred ceiling.

“Tori always said that to see the most stars, you’ve got to head to some remote spot in the middle of nowhere.”

“Point Nemo?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ve always wondered what’s so captivating about stars.”

“Well, you must find them intriguing, too, or you wouldn’t have painted them.”

“They are,” Landon said, turning towards him. “Most of the stars we see don’t even exist anymore, but their light’s still reaching us. It’s like wandering through a graveyard, in a way. Fascinating, isn’t it?”

“Sounds like you’re into creepy stuff, despite your fear of the dark.”

“I’m not afraid of the dark. I’m afraid of what I can’t see.”

Aaron turned to face him. “Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean you should be afraid. Trust someone who’s colour-blind.”

“Trust you?” Landon scoffed.

“I’ve always used lies as a shield against my parents or out of habit. But I don’t need that with you. I trust you.”

“Guess you are a bit daft after all.”

“I trust you, Landon. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here with you, in your bed.”

Landon’s gaze dropped, and he reached out to touch Aaron’s face. His fingers followed the contours of Aaron’s cheek, nose, and lips as if he were reading a story written in Braille. “You really are something, Aaron Walsh.”

Something shifted in Landon’s eyes, a softening of the storm, though Aaron wondered if it had only retreated deeper within him.

As Landon’s fingers paused on his lips, Aaron pressed a gentle kiss to them. A surprised expression flashed across Landon’s face—priceless—prompting a smile from Aaron. However, it was short-lived as Landon leaned in and stole that smile right off Aaron’s face with a kiss.

“How about we watch a film or something?” Aaron suggested, their lips barely parting.

Hand in hand, they made their way downstairs. They stopped by the summer house to grab the laptop and then scouted the kitchen for some snacks. There, they discovered a note from Nyle attached to a solitary banana.

Gone out. Back late. VERY late. Do precisely what I’d do if I were home alone with a bloke.

“Is he really your cousin?” Aaron asked.

“Unfortunately,” Landon replied, crumpling the paper and tossing it in the bin.

Before heading back up, Aaron checked his phone. He’d left it by the fruit bowl since that morning without much thought. To his surprise, notifications swamped his screen—loads of missed calls and messages from Aunt Olivia.

Odd, especially since they’d exchanged Christmas wishes the day before, and he’d promised to call her on New Year’s Eve.

As he opened the messages from his aunt, his heart sank.

I’ve found out from your friend Cliff that not only have you never planned to travel to Australia together, but you’re also still in London because they caught you with weed at a party! What on earth’s been going through your head?

I’ve been trying to call you all day. Why aren’t you picking up? Please, let me know you’re safe.

I don’t even want to know why you’ve been feeding me all these lies.

I know the rough patch you’ve been through, and I understand how tough it’s been for you to pick yourself up since the accident.

But you need to know that it pains me to think you felt you couldn’t confide in me. You know I care for you deeply, see you as a son, and it’s heartbreaking to think you didn’t feel safe enough here with me.

Remember, I’m here for you, Aarie. I always will be. Please, come back home.

“Everything all right?” Landon asked.

“Everything’s fine,” he lied.