Page 31

CHAPTER 31

ROMAN

My eyes flew open at a knock followed by, “Roman?” woke me from the restless sleep I’d fallen into.

Worry and devastation filled my last few days. After my initial panic attack, I blew off the report, certain the reports were bogus or over-inflated. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt. I had to face facts when the news outlets didn’t back off the story of a lost SEAL Team but instead kept on with it.

I glanced at the clock and groaned. Scrubbing my hands over my face, I dragged myself from the bed and stumbled to the door. Pulling the door open, I replied, “Yeah.”

Mama’s face, splotchy and wreathed in tears, appeared in the opening, and my heart dropped. I closed my eyes as emotion surged through me, making my chin tremble. Mama’s hand came to rest on my chest over my heart. Her touch never failed to comfort me until today.

“They’ve been found.”

I nodded, trying and failing to contain the utter devastation. Sobs racked my body, making me weak-kneed. Pain exploded as I fell to the floor.

“Oh shit. Rome, darlin’, they’re alive. He’s alive.”

Comprehension eluded me even though I heard her words. Luckily, she kept repeating them. Over and over, she said, “He’s alive,” until finally, their meaning penetrated.

“You couldn’t’ve led with that?” I asked through the snot and tears.

“Yeah. Sorry about that.”

I staggered to my feet only to fall back on my ass when the backs of my knees hit the edge of the bed. My mother followed me into the room, shutting the door behind me.

“You ready to admit to him that you’re in love with him?”

“We’re just friends, Mama. Best friends.”

She laughed. Her baby-soft hands came up to my face, cupping my jaw. “You keep telling yourself that if you need to, but I don’t believe it for a minute. I saw the way you two looked at each other.”

I sighed.

“Mama, DADT…”

“Horse pucky. They’re a buncha idiots if you ask me.”

I snorted softly as her twang intensified—a clear indication of how upset DADT and homophobia, in general, made her. I’d told her I preferred men months ago, and ever since, she’d been on a silent rampage about the injustice of it all.

“Even if DADT didn’t exist, the UCMJ says…”

“That fraternization policy doesn’t count anymore. And even if it did, JAG can take a long walk off a short pier. You love him. And I’d bet you anything he loves you. If you must keep it under wraps, do so, but don’t deny it.”

I nodded, but that was as much of an admission as she was getting. Mama leaned down, kissed my cheek, and said, “I’m going back to bed. Remember what I said. Love, true love and partnership are rare. Don’t deny it or him.”

I watched her leave the room then fell back on the bed. She wasn’t wrong. I’d loved Carson Wilcox since I was a teen, and those feelings had only grown since we’d been reunited.

A rattly buzz sounded as my phone danced across the nightstand. Rolling, I stretched my arm out and snatched it up. I expected to see a message calling me into work, but it was a notification of a group text from a couple of unknown numbers.

UNKNOWN 1

Missing team members found.

Everyone is being transported to LRMC for treatment.

Thought you’d want to know.

My brow pinched in confusion.

“Who the fuck…”

UNKNOWN 2

Cryptic much?

This is Brock. Adam’s the cryptic asshole who messaged.

Roman

How did you get my number?

My phone rang with the second unknown number flashing on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Carson asked us to get word to you should something ever happen to him.”

My brow scrunched up again. If I didn’t get this under control, I would end up with those deep forehead wrinkles way before my time.

“What?”

“Your guy asked me to call you.”

My guy?

What…

Glee swarmed me like a hive of angry bees, pelting me with happiness. I tamped it down so my voice didn’t squeak like a prepubescent teen’s.

“If that means what I think or hope it means, then thank you. You just made me the happiest I’ve ever been other than the day my daughter was born.”

“Good. He deserves happiness. I don’t know you well. As an Army captain, you should have a decent idea of what our lives are like, but I’m going to say it anyway. We’re never home. Adam’s right. Leave can be canceled even after it’s started. There will never be a guarantee he’ll be home for birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. And as you have just experienced, there’s no guarantee we’ll make it back alive.”

“I know,” I whispered. I took a deep breath. “Do you know when they’ll be at Larmcy?”

“You’re not there?”

“No. I’m not on shift today. I don’t go back on until tomorrow.”

“They should be there soon. We got word a bit ago that they’d been air-lifted.”

“Wait… I thought you were called back, too.”

“I was, but they decided to bench me for this op. No clue why.”

“I didn’t realize you were injured.”

Brock huffed. “A SEAL is always injured. It’s the degree of injury that keeps us out of the game.”

I nodded to myself. My thoughts whirled so fast I couldn’t grab onto any one thought. As soon as I latched onto one, another came along to knock it out of the way.

“You still there, doc?”

“Umm, yeah, I’m here.”

“Good. I’m glad. I’m not going to ask any questions, but I’ll go out on a limb and say Carson will want you there. If my eyes weren’t deceiving me in Newport, and given what you just said, I’m sure they weren’t, then you’ll want to be there as well.”

Again, a silent nod bounced my head slightly.

“I can’t hear you nodding, doc. Just sayin’.”

I coughed to clear my suddenly clogged throat. “You’re… umm… yeah, you’re on the right track. I want to be there,” I whispered, past the lump that refused to budge.

“Glad to hear Adam and I have some friends walking the same walk we’re walking.”

A curse in the background on Brock’s end of the call followed my gasp. Not wanting them to be concerned, I said, “You took a risk, as I’m sure you know, but you don’t have to worry.”

The mumbled, far-away cursing stopped when Brock said, “See. I told you.” After a moment of silence from both sides of the call, Brock said, “Get your ass to the hospital, and don’t forget to let us know how they are.”

“Wilco,” I replied.

“Well, look at that. You’re picking up the lingo.”

Twenty minutes later, I pulled my car into the staff parking lot at the hospital. As I stepped out of the car, my phone buzzed.

brOCK

The admiral got word they arrived.

The admiral? Why was an admiral texting a chief petty officer?

I fired off a response while I mulled over that tidbit, then headed for the trauma center. I hoped they weren’t bad enough to need trauma care, but I knew that was most likely a pipe dream. Whatever they’d gone through had to have been bad enough to cause some serious harm if the military refused to send in a rescue team. And you knew it was bad if a SEAL Team needed rescuing.

They were the rescuers, not the rescuees.

Taking a deep breath, I walked into the hospital through the main doors. Immediately, a buzz of energy swarmed me. That wasn’t so uncommon, as there was always a frenetic vibe that pulsed through a hospital, especially one this size. Even at night, people scurried about getting shit done. Most of the time, it was like a duck on the water. Everything appeared calm, but underneath it was anything but.

This was anything but calm. Blasted by worry, I sprinted through the halls. I didn’t pause for anything, not the people I bowled over or the stuff I shoved out of the way. Nothing would keep me from getting to the trauma unit.

I rounded the corner and came face to face with Ursula, who looked up at me in surprise.

“What are you doing here? You better have brought me coffee because this place is a shit show.”

Sucking in a deep breath to calm my racing, anxiety driven heart. I smiled tentatively at her as I edged toward the doorway.

“Sorry. No coffee. I’ll make it up to you, though.”

“You better. They found those missing SEALs, and now, my life is a nightmare.”

“Don’t pretend you’re not a card-carrying member of Team Frog.”

“Do you blame me? They’re badass. Talk about book boyfriend material. They all give off the ‘She’s mine. Touch her and die’ vibe.”

I shook my head at her. She had a thing for romance novels. I found out one night when she left her e-reader on while she rounded. That didn’t shock me so much. Mama read romance novels. She liked the dark and twisty ones. Ursula, on the other hand, like gay romance novels, which did shock me.

“Go read your book. I’ll check on them.”

“Your friend who isn’t a friend because of stupidness is in Trauma One.”

I looked toward the next bay and my heart dropped. That trauma bay was where we put the more severely wounded.

“How is he?” Fuck! “I mean, how are they?”

She rolled her eyes at me, then showed me his chart. I read it, mystified and awestruck by the injuries listed there when Ursula said, “They will all make it. They’ll just need some time.”

The air I’d trapped in my chest hissed from me like a leaky balloon. The phrase “letting the air out of my sails” had never felt more accurate. The relief I felt left me weak-kneed.

She wiggled her finger at me to come toward her, so I leaned forward, and she whispered, “Go on. I’ll guard the door.”

Fear ran rampant, but I ignored it and walked into the room Ursula said Carson was in. I turned to lock the door behind me, only to spin back around at the raspy sound of Carson’s voice.

“Rome?”

I stared back at him, his gaze glossy from the fever blooming on his cheekbones.

“Thank God, you’re alive,” I said before I barreled toward the bed.

I sat next to his hip, unable to say anything even though I tried. I was sure if I opened my mouth or even quit clenching my teeth, I’d lose it.

I raised my hand to his face, but I couldn’t bring myself to touch him. I didn’t know if it would be welcome. Just before I let my arm drop back to my lap, he grasped my hand and pulled it to his face. A gasp broke free as the skin of our hands rasped against one another.

The long fingers of my hand ghosted over his cheekbone and down his face, luxuriating over the surprising softness of his beard. A soft sigh parted his lips. Lips I’d fantasized about for close to fifteen years.

“Rome?”

Unable to pull my gaze away from the mouth I wanted to devour, I responded in a whisper, “It’s been days. According to the news, the chopper went down, y’all were overrun, and the unit was lost. It was reported there weren’t any survivors.”

“We were. Overrun and lost that is. Well, we were overrun. We didn’t lose ourselves. The brass couldn’t find us because of where we went down, and we couldn’t get word out to them since our comms went down when we did. When they did find us, there were SAMs in the area so they couldn’t launch the QRF for fear of other aircraft being shot down.”

My throat locked up as emotion swelled within, and my eyes squeezed closed. Tears rolled down my face as I struggled to maintain some semblance of control.

I ducked my head. He was a fucking warrior. He didn’t need to deal with a whining, crying wuss. Plus, I wanted to be strong for him. I needed to be.

“Doc. I’m okay.”

I shook my head. He wasn’t, though. He had a broken leg, multiple rib fractures, a collapsed lung, and a concussion, to name the more serious injuries.

“Okay, I’m not okay. But I will be.”

My head bounced slightly at his words, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. The sunken cheeks and dark circles around his gorgeous, cerulean eyes he sported haunted me. They reminded me just how dangerous his job was.

“Roman? Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Talk to me.”

“No,” I gasped, devastated.

Emotions battered my insides until I felt just as bruised and beaten as he was, but holding my tongue ripped at me, making me feel as if I was being torn in half. I couldn’t talk to him because I feared I would say something I wasn’t sure I meant.

“Then look at me.”

Our gazes locked. The command was undeniable.

“We’ve never put our cards on the table. So, I’m going to do it now. And I’ll understand if you don’t...”

“I do.”

“What I was going to say is that I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same or if you do and you don’t want this. This life is hard enough for those who choose it and even worse for our loved ones.”

Loved ones?

His words sucked all the air from my lungs while every nerve ending in my body lit up like a Christmas tree. My mouth opened and closed, wanting to say something but unable to work out what or how. Slamming my mouth shut, I swallowed, then tried again.

“Loved ones?”

He chuckled.

“You’re my family, doc. You always have been. Even when you were a string bean teen who was so scrawny, they had more arms and legs than any other two guys in school.”

“Not all of us can look like an Adonis from birth.”

“Pretty sure Adonis was a tall motherfucker,” he said as he reached up, his hand wrapping around my neck with a sharp inhale.

I started to ask if he was okay, but he pulled me toward him, and all thoughts left my head. My gaze dropped, and my heart sped up as our mouths drew closer and closer until they were a hair’s breadth apart. His breath mingled with mine, whispering over my face.

“Now, I’m going to lay those cards on the table fully. I’ve wanted you since I helped you up off the floor the day we met.”

Air whooshed in and out so fast my head spun. I wanted to respond. I really did, but the man robbed me of thoughts, breath, and words. I took a couple of deep breaths as I stared into his eyes.

“Kiss me.”