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Maybe it’s wrong. Maybe it’s immature. Maybe I don’t care.

Justin and I drank a little bit last night during our epic ping pong battle, and I told him to stay the night. He didn’t stay in my room. He stayed in one of the guest rooms in my dad’s wing, so he wasn’t even in the same part of the house as me while we slept.

I heard Cooper come in late last night—or rather, I heard him stumble in. My door was shut and my light was off. I was in the middle of tossing and turning for the seven thousandth time when he not-so-quietly headed to his room.

I thought about going out to the hall to check on him, but I stayed where I was. He’s making his feelings pretty damn clear, and nothing good would’ve come from me confronting him when he was drunk.

Even though I was incredibly curious what a drunk Cooper looks like.

I learned a lot about Justin as we bonded over coffee at Starbucks yesterday, and I learned even more once I invited him back to my dad’s game room.

And perhaps one important fact I learned is that…well, we both find Cooper Noah incredibly attractive.

I didn’t tell him that Cooper has been inside me. I didn’t tell him how I fell in love with him. I did, however, tell him I have a monster crush on the guy. I told him how he acts all protective over me but won’t give me the time of day. I told him my friend thinks I should flaunt another guy in his face, and Justin was all too happy to volunteer for the job.

His exact words, in fact, were, “Maybe he’ll notice you, or maybe he’ll notice me. Either way, one of us wins.”

I laughed and laughed as I realized Justin was never interested in anything more than friendship with me, and we bonded over the fact that our fathers put baseball first, though we had incredibly different paths that led to our internships.

Justin hasn’t come out to his family. His parents don’t know he’s gay, and his father has spent his entire life pushing for him to play ball.

He never wanted to play ball.

He did it anyway, and he was good at it. He’s also quite the actor. He puts on the front like he’s interested in every pretty girl who walks across his path when the truth is that he’d rather cozy up with Chase or Brian than Chloe or Mackenzie.

So he’s a twenty-two-year-old man living a total lie.

None of the other interns know the truth.

I asked him why he told me , and he said he knew he could trust me with his secret nearly immediately after meeting me. My heart melted, and just like that, I have a new gay best friend…one I’m rooting for in every way I can.

He’s dated a few guys in secret, but all his meaningful relationships have ended because he refuses to be honest with his parents. He told me he’d tell them someday, and that was good enough for me. It’s not my place to push him, but as his new friend, it is my place to support and encourage him however I can.

When he popped into my room this morning, I flipped the covers back and patted the mattress, and he snuggled in beside me.

“How’d you sleep?” I ask.

“So good. Can I get a permanent reservation at Hotel Bodine?”

I laugh. “You’d have to ask Troy himself about that, and I’m guessing it’ll be a hard no if he thinks you and me are a thing.”

“How would he react to that? If we’re faking it for his benefit,” he says, jutting his thumb toward the wall I share with Cooper, “doesn’t that mean we have to fake it for your dad’s, too? And everybody else?”

“We can lay it on thick in front of…” I nod my head toward the wall to indicate Cooper, too. “With everyone else, we can be vague.”

“You think it’ll work?” he asks.

I shrug. “Probably not, but it’s worth a shot to see if he notices either of us, right?”

He grins and nods. “How do you think he’ll react to the two of us in your bed together in the morning?”

I laugh loud enough to try to wake up the man next door. “Not well.”

Justin leaps out of bed and opens the door. “Let him take a peek at this, then.” We both giggle, and then he slides back into bed beside me. He wiggles his arm behind me so I’m forced to rest my head on the nook at his shoulder.

“So what are you thinking about this kids thing we have to work on together?” he asks.

“Tomorrow is my first official day, so I imagine we’ll learn more then.” I lift my shoulder a little to shrug, a difficult feat since I’m smashed up against Justin.

“How awkward will it be working with Hottie McThirdBaseman over there with the huge crush you have on him?”

“The most awkwardest ever,” I admit, and he laughs.

His laugh is infectious, and I start laughing, too.

And it’s that moment Hottie McThirdBaseman decides to exit his bedroom. We both watch as he walks by, jaw clenched as he peeks into my room. He sees us on the bed snuggling together, and I swear I see fire come out of his ears before he disappears from our view. I hear him as he stomps down the stairs, and for a second, I feel pretty damn good about what we’ve accomplished here this morning.

Until I realize I don’t want to hurt Cooper. Sure, I want to make him jealous. Sure, I want him back, and a part of me hopes seeing me with somebody else will be enough to spur him to action.

But I don’t want to make him miserable. I know him pretty well, and I have a feeling he’s working pretty damn hard to make himself miserable all on his own.