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The house is so silent I could hear a pin drop.

I can’t help but wonder where Joanie went. Are she and my father working things out?

I doubt it.

After all she did for him when he was sick, I can’t believe he’d let this come between them. But it’s his relationship to destroy.

Usually Ruby Sue is here to break up the peace, but she’s at a puppy hotel for the night since my dad and Joanie were supposed to be walking down the aisle and none of us knew how late we’d be out.

I could really use some puppy love right about now. She’ll be back tomorrow, and then it’ll be back to her regular routine where Joanie’s niece will stop by to take her for long walks and feed her during the day when none of us are home.

God, I need a drink. Everything hurts in a way that makes me wonder when the pain will stop. Maybe I’ll numb to it eventually, or maybe this is just my new normal.

God, I want to numb it.

I walk over to the pantry and reach for the top shelf, and I grab down the first bottle I see.

It’s tequila.

I spin the cap until it comes off, and that’s when I remember…I can’t.

I set my hand on my stomach as I realize at least I’m not truly alone, yet I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so alone in my entire life.

I take the bottle in between my fingers and hurl it against the wall with a loud, frustrated scream.

The bottle breaks into a million pieces, shards of glass spewing all over the hardwood floors and skidding everywhere as tequila bursts out and falls to the ground.

That was dumb, but it felt good anyway.

The petty side of me hopes it was one of my father’s expensive bottles.

My eyes burn with tears at the complete and utter mess the bottle made—not because I made a mess or broke a bottle, but because it’s so damn representative of the mess I’ve made of my life.

I let myself fall for someone I never should have. It was stupid. It was a mistake.

I should have trusted my gut when it told me I wasn’t good enough. Instead, I trusted my heart.

My stupid, stupid heart.

I let the tears fall with loud sobs as I stare at the mess I made, and eventually my responsibility forces me into action. I grab a towel to clean up the liquid, and I pick up the larger pieces of glass before sweeping the shards into a dustpan. I even run the vacuum to make sure I got all the pieces, and I mop the floor when I’m done for good measure.

Loud sobs escape me as I work, as I contemplate my next move.

I need to finish the semester. I’m one class shy of graduating.

I need to finish my internship no matter how painful it’ll be to see Cooper at the stadium.

I need to stay here in Vegas for now no matter how hard it’ll be to live in the same town as my father. I can’t help but wonder if he will continue to find ways to control my life.

What’s worse? An overbearingly overprotective father or a narcissistic mother?

I don’t want to go back to Colorado, but maybe I should. Or maybe I should start looking for a marketing job somewhere else—away from my mother, away from my father, away from Cooper.

The tears fall harder as I contemplate that.

Just the thought of leaving makes my stomach twist violently.

Do I even want the social media position? Will Joanie continue to work at the stadium?

Only time will tell, I guess.

The floor is spotlessly clean in too short a time. I take a shower. I change my clothes. I sit on the couch, and it takes me all of five seconds to realize I don’t want to be alone right now.

I want to text Kaylee, but I’m not ready to tell her what happened tonight.

Instead, I text Justin.

Me: Are you around?

He replies right away.

Justin: At the bar with the other interns. Come join us!

Me: Not really in the drinking mood tonight.

Justin: What’s wrong?

I debate how to answer that. What’s wrong? Only everything. I’m pregnant and the daddy just broke up with me, and my own father is probably a big part of the cause of all of it.

I can’t exactly text that.

Instead, I go for the simplest answer.

Me: My dad found out.

Justin: Oh shit. How’d he take it?

Me: About as well as you’d expect.

Justin: I’m coming over.

I glance around the quiet house. I can’t go out drinking, but I don’t want to stay here, either. Maybe the solution lies somewhere in the middle.

Me: No, don’t leave your friends. I need to get out of the house, so I’ll come there.

Justin: Are you sure?

Me: Give me an hour.

When I get to the bar, I spot the table right away. Dylan isn’t here, which means he’s probably with Mia, and that’s fine. That’s good. I don’t have to put on a happy face for him.

Everyone else is here, though, and they’re all drunk already.

Which is good. It’s fine. I sort of wanted to talk to Justin about what went down tonight, but he’s not in the right frame of mind for that.

Tomorrow’s another day.

“Let’s get this girl fucked up!” Justin yells when I slide into the booth beside him.

I force away the heat building once again behind my eyes.

I can’t get fucked up, but he calls the waitress over. It’s loud enough in here that I lean in close to her so nobody else will hear my order. “Just a Sprite with a lime, please.”

I’d love some vodka in that Sprite. I’d love to get drunk with my friends. I’m only twenty-one, right?

My dad would say I should be enjoying life, making trouble, getting drunk.

Cooper would probably agree. I’m too young to be tied down, too young to be making decisions about my future and getting married and having kids.

But I am. It’s all I want. I don’t want to be here with the other interns pretending that I’m just like them because I’m not.

I wonder if he’s punishing himself right now. I wonder where he’s at and what he’s thinking.

I wonder if I’ll ever be in a position where he’ll share those things with me again…or if tonight really was the end.