Page 8

We Like Stubborn Pitas

M eredith

An apprehension that had settled over the parking lot. I knew everyone here, but they were acting peculiar. The men were standing in a semi-circle facing the front door, their feet constantly shuffling. I noticed they clenched their hands and someone coughed occasionally.

The banquet center had three steps that led from the front door to the lot, but when I went to descend, Grizz didn’t move with me.

I had been holding his hand, but when I felt a tug at the connection, I turned back to look at him.

Something in the lot held his gaze, and when I traced his line of sight, I understood why everyone was so captivated.

All the men were staring at the scars that were visible on the left side of my stomach.

I was holding the sweatshirt, but there was no way to put it back on without letting go of Grizz.

Right now, that wasn’t an option. He was my lifeline, and even though I was fighting to keep us together, I wasn’t sure I could function right now without him.

Instead, I channeled my inner bitch and flipped my hair dramatically over my shoulder as I faced the crowd.

“You’re acting like you’ve never seen some skin before. ”

No one said a word as they shifted their eyes out to the lot, but they always came back to the scars.

Sabre walked up to us. I refused to kiss his ass as I waited for him to say something snide.

He still held a grudge about the fact that I hadn’t talked to Grace the night she’d left Matt.

I thought he was being an overprotective asshole, and he thought I was a selfish bitch.

I hadn’t understood why everyone was upset with me, but when I stopped and analyzed the situation from the outside, I got it.

She had needed me, and I’d left her to her own devices.

We’d found her safe and sound the next morning, which eased the guilt, but I couldn’t go back.

I planned to make amends with Grace and fix our relationship, but living was more of a priority.

Sabre needed to pull his head out of his ass and let it go.

“You alright?” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug.

I had never been so grossed out by a man sandwich before. Sabre held me close, but my hand remained linked with Grizz’s. This was too weird for me, and I just wanted it to end. “I’m fine. You can let go of me now.”

He laughed as he tightened his arms around me.

“Seriously, can you let me go now? This is weird.” His arms fell, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “Are Grace and JR alright? I don’t see them,” I asked.

“You’re in some serious shit. Grace doesn’t understand that you made the right call when you told her to run with JR. They’re good, but I sent them back to the clubhouse to give you a few minutes.” He smirked at me, and I just wanted to ball my fingers into a fist and hit him in the mouth.

“It’s not the first time, probably won’t be the last.” I tugged on Grizz’s hand, trying to convey that I was ready to leave. All I wanted to do was shower away the cartel soldier’s hands on me.

“We should head back. Do you have a car for us?” Grizz asked Sabre.

I probably should have told Grizz about my disdain for cars, but I didn’t want him to worry about my anxiety. He had enough on his plate, and if you ranked my issues, riding in a car was low. We had always taken his bike, and I hadn’t had to worry about it.

“Grease only had an extra to spare, so the enforcers drove the cartel fucks, and the prospect is with Grace and JR in hers.”

I could have kissed Sabre if the thought didn’t repulse me so much. “It’s okay. I’ll just ride back with you,” I said to Grizz. “It’s only a few miles, and you don’t have to take the highway.” Outside, I was the epitome of calm. Inside, I was doing a fucking jig on Sabre’s toes.

Grizz said nothing as he led me to his bike.

Grabbing the sweatshirt, he threw it in his saddlebag.

The crop top wouldn’t protect me in a crash, but I didn’t question him.

I was getting my way without having to throw a tantrum.

He slipped his helmet on my head, and I threw my leg over his bike.

The prospect of feeling the wind against my skin thrilled me.

We waited until Sabre was ready, and then the club rode out in formation.

***

I was still sitting behind Grizz, using his body as a shield as I watched Grace rapidly tap her foot. The anger was pouring off of her as she crossed her arms over her chest. We’d gone way past “serious shit” to “oh fuck no.”

Removing Grizz’s helmet, I handed it to him, laying my chin on his shoulder.

“The longer you wait, the more time you give her to gear up.”

I knew he was trying to be encouraging, but I didn’t have the energy to fight her. I would have preferred to forget the whole thing, but I wouldn’t get the chance. “It was nice knowing you,” I whispered into his ear, before swinging my leg over his bike.

He laughed. “If she takes a swing, lay her out. I can take him .”

Sabre turned his head, and Grizz just finger-waved in his direction.

“At least I know whose side you’re on.” My heart skipped a beat at the idea he would come to my rescue. My knight in shining leather to defend my honor. I’d never seen Grizz in a fight, and my heart skipped another beat because I couldn’t bear to watch him get hurt.

“Yours, even if I think you’re wrong.”

“Charmer.” I kissed his cheek and prepared for the battle that awaited me. I took a few steps forward, but my sister wasn’t having any of it. She stepped right up to me and shoved my shoulder.

“Never do that to me again,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Do what? Save your fucking life? You and I both know how it feels to be missing a parent, Grace.” I aimed low and hit my mark when the hurt crossed her face.

“Meredith with the low blow.” The brothers were standing on the porch watching us, and someone was running commentary as if this was a boxing match. I didn’t take my eyes off of Grace, nor did I care to know who it was.

“How dare you say something like that to me!”

“Say what? The truth fucking hurts. As soon as the prospect said the cartel was there, you should have gotten your happy ass out of the chair and run.”

“Should we take bets on who’s going to win? Meredith came out swinging.” Didn’t the brothers have anything better to be doing?

“I get it. You hate me for blowing up your life, but I’m still your sister. I should have been the one protecting you.”

There was a collective aww from the porch.

The memories played in my head, like snippets from a movie that I didn’t want to watch.

The dinner at my aunt’s house after the brothers had moved her into the pool house.

My dad not backing down about her divorce and then throwing my failed wedding into the mix.

Grace telling me about what she’d seen, and my heart breaking.

After that, my pregnancy announcement had been the last thing on anyone’s mind, and I still harbored resentment, even though I should have apologized for my behavior that night.

It had started my downhill spiral filled with bitterness and outrage.

Who knew what would have happened if that moment had been different?

I didn’t respond fast enough, still replaying the past.

“You’re so absorbed in your own head that you don’t even pay attention to the world around you. JR doesn’t even know you because you won’t touch him.” Pain etched across her face.

“Fuck you.” I was done, and as much as I wanted to release all the emotions I’d been trying to bury, now wasn’t the time. I tried to walk around her, but she stepped in the middle of my path.

“Fuck me? Fuck you!” She shoved my shoulder again.

I shoved her shoulder back. “Fuck you. You want to hash this out in the middle of the yard? Fine. I made the right decision for me, and right after Brandon called, you should have told me what you saw. I didn’t give a flying fuck he was cheating.

It was over, but you didn’t tell me to protect your own selfish image.

If you had, you would have had to address your own failing marriage.

You want to call me selfish, but what about your own mistakes?

You could have stood on business a lot fucking sooner. ”

“Can I change my bet? I’m not sure who’s going to win now.”

I shook my head, not shocked that the brothers had taken bets on us.

“I told you to run because there was no way we were going to stand together. They weren’t looking for me.

They kept asking about you because they saw your car.

How were you going to defend yourself with JR strapped to you? They had guns, Grace.”

“I need to change my bet, too. There’s no way Flo could have fought them off. Little man is a lover, not a fighter.”

I shoved her shoulder again just for the hell of it. “I won’t be the one who tells JR that his mom is gone. Not dead, but gone. He’s too little to understand that you’re not out in the world somewhere and just didn’t want him. That’s not the truth, but he won’t know that.”

“Are you talking about Mom? She couldn’t show up on the doorstep one day.” Grace swiped her hand under her eye.

“You’re a good mom, and I wasn’t taking the chance I’d have to explain.” A sob broke free, but I quickly squashed any more. The brothers were watching us fight in the yard, and I wouldn’t look weak.

“If you were protecting JR, why won’t you touch him?” She didn’t hold back the tears that ran down her cheeks.

I lowered my eyes to the dirt as I made a hole in the ground with my toe. “I have blood on my hands, and he’s pure.”

“That doesn’t matter. You were just protecting yourself and Aunt E,” she reasoned with me.

“I have blood on my hands,” I yelled at her. “Do you need a visual, Grace? I wrapped my belt around Pulse’s neck, dug my knees into the back of his seat, and pulled until his neck snapped against the headrest.”

“We’re scared, right?” a brother asked.

“Probably. Anyone else think this is kind of hot?”

Grace said nothing, and I lost my shit. “I killed Aunt E’s only child, and you’re more concerned that I won’t touch yours. Are you fucking delusional? You shouldn’t let anyone touch JR.”

“JR was born to the Iron Shield. He’s going to prospect one day, with no regards to how I feel about it.

Want to know why? These are some of the best men we know, and he’ll want to imitate them.

There’s always going to be blood, Mer, and you’re going to miss out on getting to know your nephew, if that’s all you see. ”

“She said we were good men. I haven’t been called that in years.”

“Not you. Definitely, not you.”

“I don’t get a break from this nightmare. You’re asking me to forget when Pulse invades my thoughts at night,” I said, but she wasn’t paying attention to me.

My scars distracted her. “Does that hurt?” she asked me, pointing to my left side.

“No, but the skin pulls. This was the parting gift from the first kidnapping.” I whipped the crop top over my head and threw it at her. My scars were completely on display.

It had been over six months since the accident, and the skin had healed.

There was no puffiness or redness, but you could clearly see the patchwork design.

It looked like a student had taken scraps of my skin and had fun sewing whatever they thought might fit together.

White lines separated the different grafts, and while some skin felt smooth, most puckered.

“My god,” she whispered.

I still struggled to stomach the ugliness, but I was getting better.

I could now look at myself in the mirror, and if I caught a glimpse of my arm, I didn’t panic.

My stomach gurgled as I stood in the yard, stripped down to just my bra and leggings.

I had never wanted this to progress as far or fast as it had.

I had just wanted them to get their fill so they would leave me alone.

There was no going back now. I wouldn’t have been able to let them take in the damage a few months ago, but I was stronger now.

I held my head high, refusing to let anyone shame or pity me.

They would get their fill, and life would move on.

Silence hung in the front yard until someone let out a whistle.

“Damn, Buster.”

I hadn’t been expecting a catcall, but I wasn’t mad at it either. It was a long-awaited boost to my ego.

“Grizz’s going to sleep with one eye open, or he might wake up one morning missing parts.”

“No wonder Grizz ain’t given up.”

I stood with my feet shoulder-width a part and my hands clenched at my hips, but as I heard more of their teasing, the tension left my body.

“Shit, I wouldn’t either if I had a woman who looked like that.”

“This is Meredith we’re talking about. I feel weird.”

“Damn, she makes the hangarounds look like dumps.”

By the time it was over, I was genuinely smiling. It hadn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. I still would hide the scars for myself, but if they showed, I wouldn’t worry about it. The brothers could be jealous of Grizz for all I cared.

Grace threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I can’t lose you. This was all just a—”

“I’ll take you down if you say speed bump,” I interrupted her.

“Okay,” she laughed. “I still love you, even when you’re being a pain in the ass.”

“Takes one to know one,” I whispered. “Did you even hear anything I said?”

“Yes, but I’m choosing to ignore most of it.” She pulled back and grinned at me.

“Seriously, Grace. I have to fix me before I can do anything else.” I didn’t have the words to explain that I wanted to fix our relationship so that she wouldn’t get hurt any further, but it was going to be a process.

She pulled back from me, and whatever she saw in my eyes must have registered with her. “JR and I will be here when you’re ready. Just don’t take too long, Auntie Meredith. We like stubborn pitas.”

The brothers were still making comments when suddenly, a loud voice rang out. “You can look, but don’t touch my wife.”