Page 16

Was That So Hard?

M eredith

I had been staring at the TV, not really paying attention.

“The male sea turtle just keeps swimming, unlike the females, who nest on land.” The animal channel blared from the TV. They were having an aquatic reptile marathon. “Sea turtles cry, but they’re not sad,” the show droned on.

Lost in my own thoughts, I compared myself to a sea turtle.

I wasn’t sad, that I knew of, and I refused to cry.

The Old Lady Alliance had given me a purpose I didn’t know was missing.

The club hadn’t voted me in, but I considered that a minor technicality.

If I was going to belong, I needed to prove I could be one of the strongest.

I wouldn’t wallow anymore. I was better than that, and something about sea turtle tears pushed me to stand from the couch. It was time to get some answers, or at least ask the questions I’d been avoiding.

“Where are you going, girlie pop?” Dead asked, his eyes still glued to the TV.

“I have to potty.” It was a lie, but I was going to make this as uncomfortable as possible so that Dead wouldn’t follow me. I could have told him the truth, and he wouldn’t have cared, but I wanted to protect myself in case this blew up in my face.

“You went pee before the show. Didn’t think you had a small bladder.” His lips quirked up at the corners, baiting me. “Count’s downstairs in the gym.”

“I have to shit.” I kept the lie alive, but I headed in the wrong direction, blowing my cover.

Bolting past the club girls’ rooms, I didn’t want to hear any overzealous sounds.

Fake moans were the worst, and I refused to be deterred.

Dead’s laughter followed me down the hall until I reached the back staircase.

As I descended into the pits of hell, the heavy metal music pulsated in the walls.

I’d never been a gym bro for this reason.

If Count wasn’t here, or there were too many ears listening, then I was going to bolt back upstairs.

The brothers had loose lips, and I didn’t want anyone in my personal business.

They didn’t need to know what I was up to.

As my foot hit the last step, I stuck my head around the corner.

Count was by himself, hitting the speed bag.

I coughed, trying to get his attention, but he didn’t hear me.

“Hey Count,” I said, a little louder this time.

He stopped the bag with his hand before turning off the music and grabbing a water bottle.

“I…ah…need your help with opening a new design firm.”

“A little dove told me you might come asking. I don’t have to have the club’s vote for a new business, so Iron Shield Design is already open. Your employee paperwork is upstairs, and I’ll come find you before I leave for the tit show to sign it.”

“Oh.” My brain had spent the entire walk down here gearing up for a fight, rehearsing my credentials and preparing to defend myself.

Now I felt off-balance, like I’d swung at an opponent that wasn’t even in the ring.

Count had taken Emily’s recommendation, and I wasn’t sure if that meant he trusted her opinion or if he assumed I could be successful with a little help.

It could have been a combination of both, but I didn’t want to ask for fear it was more Emily’s influence.

“Sit with me.” He took a few steps towards the wall nearest the stairs and slid until his ass hit the floor. Patting the spot next to him, he drank from the bottle and waited.

I dropped to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest.

“I could have easily opened it in your name, but I didn’t want you to succeed and then lose it. The club will own the design firm under our business umbrella. We’ll assume all financial risks and pay you out twenty-five percent of the profit from each project. Got to make it all look official.”

My brow puckered. I couldn’t do the math quickly enough, but that seemed low.

I had made an hourly rate at my previous firm, plus substantial bonuses.

Those bonuses were large enough to cover a large down payment when I had bought my condo.

It had been important to me then that I had done it all by myself, but I wasn’t sure if it mattered now.

I’d have to talk to Grizz about cleaning it out and letting it go.

“It’s low,” he said, watching me. “I’m surprised you don’t have a poker face. The bank can’t fault you for taking an awful job. I’ll set aside the other twenty-five percent, managing the account until your legal issues resolve.”

I sighed internally. It was a little better. I would need to purchase supplies, but I didn’t know how to ask where the money was going to come from without being rude.

“Sabre is going to lend you the start-up funds, and I can take it out of his payout. I don’t need a vote because the club isn’t spending money. We figured you’d need a few thousand to get going. Cyph will hook you up with a laptop. He already purchased and set up the software.”

“Thank you,” I stuttered.

“I can’t wait to play with the money you’re going to generate.” He smiled widely, thinking about it as he rubbed his palms together.

“It’s weird now, so I’m going to go. Thanks, Count.

” I stood from the floor and wiped my palms on my knees.

He was still rubbing his hands together, and I swore I saw dollar signs in his eyes, still thinking about the money as I ran up the stairs.

I didn’t stop as I headed to the second floor, searching Cyph out.

I should have thought about what I wanted to say before knocking, but when Cyph stood in the cracked door, my nerves jumbled.

“Hi. Count said you had a laptop ready for the design firm.” I wouldn’t take no for an answer, but there was a part of me that tamped down my excitement.

I was used to people telling me no on the first go around.

“Yeah, I’ll get it to you later,” he said, closing the door in my face.

The level of hostility confused me. I hardly interacted with Cyph, so I wasn’t sure what I had done besides existing.

If that was the case, he wasn’t the only one who didn’t bother to hide it.

I’d chosen to ignore the majority, unless they said anything openly to me.

I thought about knocking again, but I had already pushed once, and I didn’t want to start an argument.

I could wait, even if it killed me. He hadn’t said no, which was a good thing.

He’d just said that he’d get it to me later, I rationalized.

Walking towards the stairs to the main room, I breathed a sigh of relief. Today was going my way for once.

***

Curling back into my corner of the couch, I faced the TV, pretending to watch the show. “Sea turtle shells don’t shed: instead, they grow with the turtle,” the show went on.

“How did it go?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tucked my feet underneath me.

“You’re trying to put the pieces back together, but until you quiet the demons from within, they’ll always ride your ass.”

“I don’t have an ass.” The sound was hollow in my ears as I tried to laugh it off. “I’d love to put this all behind me and sleep through the night, but I don’t know how.”

“Everyone has an opinion about you, but the only way to put it in the past is to forgive yourself.” He crossed his arms behind his head and shifted further down into the couch.

“What if I can’t?” I admitted my fear for the first time.

“You will. You’re just not ready yet, but each day, it’ll get a little easier.” He asked again, “How did it go?”

“Good. I’m going to be an employee of Iron Shield Design.”

“How do you feel about that?”

How do I feel about that?

“I don’t know. It’s something, but Sabre’s not doing it out of the goodness of his heart.”

“Fuck him.”

I snapped my head to face Dead. “You better not let your president hear that.”

He shrugged, turning the TV volume up. “You missed the sea turtle sex.”

“Thanks, Dead,” I whispered, tuning back into the show.

Cyph appeared in my peripheral vision, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I pretended like I hadn’t seen him, trying not to make things as awkward as I had before, but he passed the couch and headed towards the hallway that housed the club girls’ rooms. Is he really going to get laid?

I openly watched as he knocked on Peaches’ door and walked in. I was fuming.

“What the fuck?” I mumbled. This time, I wasn’t the problem.

I had asked nicely, and it wouldn’t have been a hassle to fulfill the request. I just needed a laptop, not a technical lesson.

Huffing, I tuned back into the TV, but when the sea turtles ended, my anger was a boiling pot that was about to spill over.

Marching over to Peaches’ door, I knocked loudly.

There was no answer, and it only fueled my fury.

Pounding on the door with both of my fists, I made sure the whole bottom floor of the clubhouse heard me. A few of the club girls stuck their heads out into the hallway.

The door opened, and Cyph stood in the crack, butt-ass naked. I was full of rage.

“I’m busy,” he said, moving to close the door in my face again, but I stuck my sneaker in the jamb.

“Lay off the energy drinks. It’s been half an hour, and you’re not even hard.” I held his gaze before I let mine fall to his limp dick, making my point. “Scrub might have one of those pamphlets they give you at the doctor for erectile dysfunction. You seriously need to get that checked out.”

“I told you to fucking wait. I’m busy, and it’s not like you’re going to be successful, anyway. It’s just a pet project to keep you busy that’s not even being funded by the club. How’s the ‘healing’ going from the couch?”

“When I land my first million-dollar contract, I’m going to ram it down your throat so far that you won’t be able to swallow dick. They’ll have to pull your head from your ass just to ram it in.” I heard Dead’s boots heading my way from the main room.

“Fuck off,” Cyph spat at me, trying to close the door again.

“You could have given me the laptop by now, but you chose to be a fucking idiot.” I kicked the door open with my other foot, and Peaches sat against the headboard wrapped in the top sheet of the bed.

“If you go now, you’ll give Peaches enough time to masturbate, and when you get back, she’ll be able to fake moan and groan. ”

“I don’t take orders from you. You’re not even an Old Lady. Grizz hasn’t asked for the vote because he knows you’ll never pass.” Cyph hit below the belt.

The club didn’t see me as one of theirs, and apparently, neither did Cyph. For half a second, the truth of it burned, and then I smothered it in rage.

“Hey, brother. That’s unnecessary. She’s still Grizz’s. We all know that.” Dead stepped up behind me. He didn’t touch me, but I could feel his bulk invading my space. “If you tell me where the laptop is, I’ll go get it.”

I heard “bitch” as Cyph ran past me, his ass bouncing like two pale beach balls. Not sure what to do, I stood in front of Peaches’ door, waiting. It wasn’t long before Cyph returned, shoving a laptop and a prepaid credit card at me.

“Get off my fucking ass.”

“Thanks.” I smiled. “Was that so hard?” I asked, my tongue in my cheek. I turned and walked back to the main room with the laptop tucked underneath my arm, like a prize I’d won in battle. Fuck him.