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There Goes The Neighborhood

G rizz

I watched the numbers flip over on the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand.

It was eight in the morning. If I sat here any longer, I’d fall asleep.

This was the first time since I’d earned my patch that I didn’t give a fuck about church, but there would be hell to pay if my ass wasn’t in my chair.

“Baby,” I leaned over and whispered, sliding Meredith’s blonde hair off of her shoulder.

She had spent most of the night laying on my bicep on the bathroom floor.

Pulse must have made an appearance, and whatever he had said to her still lingered.

Every so often, she had whispered to let her go, and I hadn’t bothered responding.

We were already past the point of no return.

Instead, I had locked our fingers together and had never let go, hoping the touch would soothe some of the hurt.

“Baby, it’s Monday. I have to head to church.

” I lightly kissed her cheek, ran my hand over her hair one more time, and quietly slid off the bed.

Grabbing my boots, I waited until I was out in the hallway before putting them on.

She’d had a rough night, and I didn’t want the noise to wake her accidentally.

There wasn’t enough coffee in the world that was going to keep me awake.

As I approached the kitchen, the smell of fresh grounds hit my nose.

Someone was up, and they’d already started the industrial strength pots.

Brothers would stop and pour a cup before heading to the meeting.

Grabbing one of the large travel mugs, I filled it to the top and sent a quick prayer to anyone that was listening to get me through this.

Once it was over, I was heading back to my wife in bed.

Fuck breakfast. If she was hungry later, I’d take her out.

It was eight-thirty by the time I sat in my chair and placed my mug in front of me.

I closed my eyes, hoping to get a few minutes alone, but I heard the door open.

A pair of boots walked past me, and there was only one person whose seat was ahead of mine.

Sabre was the last person I wanted to speak to. Our friendship was strained.

“You look like fucking shit,” he said to me. His chair scrapped along the floor.

“Good morning to you, fuckface,” I replied, not bothering to open my eyes.

“When’s the last time you actually slept? You look like you’ve been on a five-day bender and you’re finally detoxing.”

I couldn’t remember. If I had to guess, it would have been the night before Grace had moved out of her marital home into her aunt’s pool house.

I’d slept on a park bench after Meredith had thrown me out, and it had started my string of sleepless nights.

The hospital chair. My side of the bed as I watched over her nightly.

The bathroom floor. I couldn’t fucking win, but I also wouldn’t cause harm to an already volatile situation.

“I asked you a fucking question.”

“Did you ask as my president or my best friend?” I couldn’t hide the disdain in my tone.

We had been best friends since we were teenagers, but this was the first time we had ever been at odds.

I had no issues with Grace or their relationship, but Sabre couldn’t understand why I put up with Meredith’s antics.

It caused friction between us when she didn’t behave the way he expected her to.

He’d get angry, and it only gave the other brothers permission to shun her.

Most people saw the brat, but I saw the woman underneath, who just wanted to be loved.

“Talk to me, Grizz.” Sabre’s tone gentled, as if he was talking to a wounded animal.

I opened my eyes and sat forward in my chair. Laying my forehead against the redwood table, I started talking. “I’m lost, Sabre. I don’t know which way is up, and if I can’t find my way forward, how the fuck is she supposed to?”

“You’re allowed to grieve. She didn’t get pregnant on her own.” He chuckled lightly.

“If telling her I’d knock her up again would fix everything, I would have already done it.

The pregnancy is the least of our issues right now.

” A dark laugh escaped me. “DeadZone told me she was grieving Pulse. He said it wasn’t her fault, but until she could let that shit go, Pulse would always have a hold over her.

Dead was right, but I was too afraid to listen.

It doesn’t matter, in the long run. I’m losing her. ”

“Grizz...”

I wasn’t in the mood to hear some fucking bullshit when he didn’t give two shits.

“Don’t. You have your own family to deal with.

If we were talking about Grace, everyone would be up your ass.

Fuck, even Emily gets more respect than Meredith, and she’s only been here a few weeks.

” I picked my head up off the table and grabbed the mug. I needed coffee.

“The club never got a fair chance to meet Meredith. Everything they’ve heard has been secondhand, and none of it was good.” He tried to placate me.

“No, they don’t get a pass.” I slammed my hand against the table and stared at him.

“She screams bloody murder every fucking night. I can hear an orgasm from the other side of the floor through my door, so don’t fucking tell me they can’t hear her.

” Sabre opened his mouth, but I cut him off.

“They don’t fucking care because it’s Meredith, and you only give a flying fuck right now because she’s Grace’s sister. ”

He watched me over the edge of his coffee cup as he took a sip, neither confirming nor denying. “What happened to taking her to therapy?”

“I called a few places that advertised pregnancy loss, thinking it would help if she talked some of it out. They asked too many questions, and I wasn’t sure some of them were even necessary.

I played it off, but I wasn’t comfortable booking an appointment.

Do you really want the hospital to catch wind that Scrub buried the accident records? ”

“No, you’re right. We can’t put Scrub’s license in jeopardy. Is there anyone we could bribe?”

He was trying to help, but he wasn’t throwing out any new ideas I hadn’t already thought of. I sat back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. “Do you love Grace?” I asked, turning my head towards him.

“What the fuck are you talking about? She’s mine.” Sabre crossed his arms and leaned forward in his chair. If I didn’t get my point across soon, he’d jump over the table and beat my ass.

“If all of this shit had happened to Grace, how far would you go?” I already knew he’d move Heaven and Earth for her, but I needed him to understand I would do the same thing for Meredith.

She was mine, and I wasn’t walking away because it was hard right now, no matter what anyone thought was best for us.

He didn’t answer me, but I watched the planes of his face shift as he took another sip of his coffee. I didn’t know why I was trying so hard to get him to understand, but I’d already opened this line of conversation. His brow furrowed as he gripped the mug’s handle a little tighter.

“I thought she’d bounce back to her pain-in-the-ass self. The vote would pass, and everything would go back to normal.” He shook his head and took another sip of his mug. “I’m not helping you, am I? You’ve already done the basics, and I’m just slinging more shit your way.”

“Yeah.” I breathed a heavy sigh. “I swear, I’m going to break down and cry the day she bitches again.

” I took a sip of my coffee, imaging what that day would like look.

“Even if we bribed some therapist, there’s no guarantee that they wouldn’t turn us in.

I asked Scrub if he could get her happy pills.

He didn’t respond, but when I brought it up to her, she said no.

So, we’re in this strange cycle where every day is Groundhog Day. ”

Sabre shook his head, acknowledging me. “It’s almost nine. Are you going to make it through the meeting?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t look for me afterwards. I’m heading to bed.”

The other brothers trickled in, and Sabre called the meeting to order precisely at nine.

The managers presented their reports, but there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.

I tuned out when it all sounded the same.

I was the man on the ground. The one everyone called to stop by and fix something.

If I had to sit behind a desk, I would have died from the boredom.

My anger simmered as I drank from my travel mug for something to do. Every time my eyes landed on a brother, I wanted to ask how they slept at night. How can they ignore her screams when they lance my heart every fucking night?

They must have gone through all the club reports because when I tuned back in, Pretty was talking about the neighborhood the club was thinking about building in the back of the property. My anger boiled over, doubting if anyone would want to be Meredith’s neighbor.

“I can keep looking, but I think we’re in the clear if we want to build out there,” he said.

“The founding fathers bought this place, including all the land. It was strenuous trying to figure all of that out. Jig’s recordkeeping left something to be desired.

Not all of us can go click, click, done.

” Pretty stretched his arms out in front of him, interlocking his fingers.

He jiggled his eyebrows and wiggled deeper into his seat, exaggerating how strenuous the work had been.

“When was the last time you actually clicked something, or should I say, someone?” Cyph wasn’t backing down.

Pretty smirked. “Your mom, last night.” There was loud hooting and hollering, floating around the room. “You know the dancers love me. I might need to go visit them, see how many need to be clicked.”

Wreck frowned, popping his knuckles individually.

Count slapped a hand over Cyph’s chest. “You asked for that one.” He chuckled.

“Were there any votes about the land that we specifically need to know about?” Sabre spoke up from the head of the table, trying to rein everyone back in.

“Not really. The only ones I saw were the initial purchase, and when Dad asked for a piece to build the house. Otherwise, they were more concerned with keeping the outside neighbors away.” Pretty finger waved again at Cyph.

“I really need to work the carpal tunnel out.” He flipped his hand over and stuck two fingers in the air, pretending to pump in and out.

Cyph’s face turned as bright as a tomato.

“So, we have to discuss and vote before anything can be done?” Zook asked.

He’d been the one to bring this to the table.

A pang of jealousy hit my chest. I’d never felt like this towards another brother, but everything was coming up rosy for Zook.

Emily hadn’t even been at the clubhouse a week before she had a unanimous vote. It was all falling apart for me.

“Yup,” Pretty said, smacking the P, and I wanted to reach over the table and hit him for being annoying.

Sabre stepped in before the chatter could get out of hand again. “How many brothers are thinking about building out there? Besides Zook.”

“Me. I’m building out there if this goes through, but I’ll probably still live in the clubhouse.” How spoke up.

“You going to be my neighbor?” Zook smiled as he asked from across the table.

“Fuck yeah. You can’t get rid of me, bitch.” How flicked him off.

“That’s cute.” Count tapped his fingers on the table, thinking. “I probably should sign up for one.”

“You going to throw her over your shoulder and move her in?” Sabre asked.

“Only over the threshold the first time.” Count didn’t mind being ribbed about Kelly because it was all in good fun. If I mentioned Meredith, the humor died, as they blamed her for not being more like Grace.

A few more brothers spoke, and then Sabre turned towards me. “Grizz? You going to build a house out there?”

“I’m not opposed to the neighborhood, but let’s be honest, Meredith is my wife.

I haven’t asked for a vote. It would never go through, and there’s only one shot at it.

If you won’t vote my wife in as an Old Lady, there’s nothing that makes me think any of you are going to want to live next door to us. ”

“She’s not Flo,” someone chimed in.

The entire room broke out into laugher, and I slid to the front of my seat, preparing to stand.

Pretty shrugged. “I’m not Sabre, even though we’re blood brothers. However, if he needed me, I’d be right next to him, no questions asked. I don’t see that with them, and it makes it hard to like Meredith when Flo fits in so much more.”

“You like her more because she puts up with your fucking dumb ass. If Meredith made potato salad, you’d be all over her.” I stood from my chair.

“Sit your ass down,” Sabre ordered.

I placed my hands on the edge of the table and balanced my weight against them.

“I would lay my life down for any of you or your families, but you can’t do that for me.

You don’t even try, and then you want me to sit here with a smile on my face.

Fuck that.” I sat down, crossing my arms over my chest.

Sabre glossed over what I had said, moving the meeting along. “I think we should vote to get the land surveyed first. Let’s see what we’re working with and then go from there.” He paused, taking a sip of his coffee.

Pretty called for the vote, and every brother went around the room, raising their hands, until it came to me. I watched as Count raised his at the last second, exchanging a glance with Cyph before turning his eyes back to Sabre. It could have been nothing, but I highly doubted it.

“Grizz?” he asked me.

“Yeah.” I raised my hand, not giving a fuck if they ever developed the land back there.