Page 42 of Until Tomorrow (Love Doesn’t Cure All: The Ashwood Duet #1)

“As you fucking should. They’re fantastic,” he chimed in. “And do you realize Logan doesn’t give a flying rat’s ass what they think about your hips? He doesn’t care about your hips—scratch that. He probably cares a lot about your hips during your saltine cracker sex life.”

My what?

“Do I even want to know?” I raised a brow, not sure I could handle whatever came out of this man’s mouth next. It could go so many different directions.

“Probably not,” he replied quickly. “My point is, Logan doesn’t think twice about the shit they think.

They’re miserable, boring people who need to bring your vibrant, fun-sized self down to their level.

And they did it. Little by little, you did it for them by trying to be who they wanted you to be rather than who you are. ”

“But who am I?” That was the million-dollar question.

“Do you really not see it?” He gestured dramatically to the boxes around us.

“You packed away who you are. Right here! Literally and metaphorically, you put yourself in boxes! All the things that made you… you… they’re right here, just screaming to be brought out and unpacked again.

Art, music, band t-shirts. You didn’t lose yourself, Eva.

You just hid yourself in a storage unit. ”

“But what if it doesn’t fit anymore?”

“Some of it won’t fit and shouldn’t because some of these bands suck. The Beatles? Really?”

“Don’t you hate on the Beatles,” I threatened. The audacity.

“I can’t stand their voices. I’m a voice man, short stuff,” he reminded me. “I need a sexy voice—we’re getting off-topic here.”

“Yeah.”

“ Look, we all have things we’re going to outgrow in our lives,” he continued.

“But there are things about us that are core components. Things that… yeah, we can pretend they aren’t there, but you can’t change that they’re essential to you.

I’ve loved reading since I was a kid. It comes from all the hours my mom worked and the fact that we didn’t have a TV.

Reading was all I had. It was my escape.

It’s ingrained in everything I am. Sure, it’s evolved over the years because they don’t make spicy picture books—they should, though. ”

“That’s probably called porn,” I interjected.

“Probably. What I’m saying is that I could stop reading right now—I could fill my time with other things to keep busy—but that won’t change the way that reading is a part of me. Not even if I packed it all away and threw it in your storage unit,” he replied.

“Why my storage unit?” I demanded with a frown.

“I’m not paying for a storage unit when you have a free one right here, short stuff.

” He chuckled. “Reading is one of my core components, just like helping people is. No matter where life takes me, as long as I embrace those, I feel fulfilled at the end of the day. Art and music are your core components, Eva. You can run from it, hide it away, and pretend it doesn’t exist, but you’re just lying to yourself. ”

He handed me a picture. Based on the red in my hair, I was twenty-eight.

I had on a Black Sabbath t-shirt and ancient headphones over my ears as I sat, folded over a sketch pad.

There was pencil smudged on my hands and one cheek.

Even focused, I looked happier. Calmer. More… me. I wasn’t sure how to describe it.

“What if it’s a whole thing with Logan’s co-workers though?” I asked quietly. “I can’t be the reason he has issues with his job. These people… they can be so mean about looking the part, and this is Logan’s career. I can’t be the reason—”

“Look, Logan will never burn the world to the ground for you, but that man would definitely do some legally shady shit to protect you,” Elliot interrupted.

“And honestly, isn’t that sexier? I never got the whole burn the world down, set it on fire for them thing because then the whole world is an absolute mess that no one wants to live in.

And if I’m dating a guy with that kind of personality, I just know I’ll have to clean up that mess, so all he really did was give me a fuck ton of work to do.

That man ain’t hiding bodies, so I’ll have to do it.

Arson? I mean, I’d be very good at fixing it so it looks like an accident, but still. ”

I h eld back a laugh. I loved Elliot’s random little tangents. But he was right. Logan would never be that kind of man, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do everything he could to protect me. All I had to do was take some kind of leap in any direction to start.

“Do you want to go help me spend Logan’s money?” I asked, caving to the first idea that popped up in my head.

“Can we go to the bookstore?” he replied. “There’s a new book I want.”

“Yes, we can buy a book.”

“Five books since we all know I’m about to carry a bunch of shit,” Elliot corrected with that goofy grin of his. But he wasn’t wrong.

“Ten books and you let me drive,” I offered.

“Five books and you stay in the fucking passenger seat, woman,” he shot back. “I haven’t upped my car insurance or increased my life insurance policy yet.”

I laughed as I grabbed a handful of stuff to put back in boxes.

I wasn’t ready to bring everything upstairs yet, but his message hadn’t gone unheard either.

I just had to find a blend between new and old because I wasn’t twenty-eight with red hair.

I had to find a way to bring the two versions of me together.