Page 34 of Until Tomorrow (Love Doesn’t Cure All: The Ashwood Duet #1)

Logan

I decided Chad, for all his ridiculousness, had been good for me.

It gave me the courage to keep things moving forward.

Four lunches a week, I worked out of my office while giving Tumble a real chance.

It didn’t get any easier—I struggled to connect with people on the app.

Most conversations fizzled out quickly, which I accepted.

Did I find it weird that Emerson wanted to bring his Schnauzer with him? A little bit. But honestly, it wasn’t the weirdest thing I’d come across on the app, so I was running with it. And the café was across town from my work, which made me more comfortable with going out.

What I did find weird was the fact that Ernie wasn’t a Schnauzer. Ernie was a Great Dane. Were all Great Danes so big? I stared at the black and wh ite dog from my seat, unsure if I should move or breathe as the dog just stared at me.

“He won’t bite.” Emerson laughed. The sound was pleasant—I liked it.

A little older than me, Emerson looked his age with gray around his temples and in his beard.

Other than finance, I had no real idea what he did for a living, but at least he dressed like a professional in dress pants and a dress shirt, so I didn’t feel so out of place.

Reaching out, he affectionately scratched Ernie behind the ears.

“He looks big, but he’s harmless. The worst that might happen is he drools on you. ”

“I’ve never had a dog,” I admitted. Or knew anyone who had one. I held out a hand for Ernie to smell, but the dog just stared at me. Was he staring? I couldn’t even tell if his eyes were open, to be honest.

“It’s the little ones you’ve got to watch out for,” he said. “My Schnauzer, Marley, had a real beast of an attitude. He’d never make it in a place like this. Ernie just likes to be around people, even if you can’t tell.”

“Do you take him on all your dates?” I asked.

“Honestly, you’re the first person who said yes,” he told me. Points in my favor. Did I want points in my favor? We’d see. “So, thank you. I work so much that I try to take him wherever I can go.”

“What is it that you do? I know you said finance, but that’s such a broad industry.”

“I run a firm that focuses on data analysis of financial trends,” Emerson explained. “We consult with various companies—big and small—to help them make the best possible financial decisions for their company using the data we’ve collected from the market. It’s more boring than it sounds.”

“I think you underestimate just how much I hate math,” I murmured into my coffee mug with a smile, making him laugh again.

“But I do understand the business consultation end of it. My firm deals with a multitude of businesses, galleries, and more across the city. For what… well, that’s confidential. ”

That was a terrible joke. I knew that, he probably knew that, but he still graciously chuckled.

Neither of us ended up ordering lunch. We chatted over coffee and left early to take Ernie on a walk, of all things. I didn’t know this end of town, which may have added to my comfort. Emerson was easy to talk to. I liked making him laugh, and I liked how easily the words flowed around him.

When he casually took my hand as we walked, I didn’t flinch.

“ Is this okay?” Emerson asked quietly. The man had the kind of patience that I appreciated. While he had decades of experience on me, he wasn’t pushing me.

My brain short-circuited for a moment as I processed, but I recovered quickly.

“Yeah,” I said, surprising myself with the honesty in my response.

It was more than okay. It was nothing like holding Eva’s hand—though I did my best not to compare.

His fingers loosely held mine as if giving me an easy out.

And while I appreciate the silent sentiment, I didn’t feel any need to let go.

Instead, I extended my lunch. With no pressing matters to attend to, there was no reason I couldn’t stay out a bit longer.

We walked and talked until Ernie officially gave up on the endeavor. Apparently, there was a limit to the dog’s physical activity desire, and we far surpassed it. I sat with them on a bench until I had to go back. I had to do some work or I’d be in the office all night to make up for it.

“We can’t escape the office forever, can we, Ernie?” Emerson asked the dog. “I need to get him back home anyway. I definitely overshot my lunch break.”

“I did the same.” I stood, unsure of what to do.

He beat me to it and moved in for a hug.

I returned the gesture, absorbing the moment for what it was.

He was all stark lines and hard muscles, and a small part of me wondered what it’d be like to explore that further.

Soft scruff, thick cologne, strong arms. It was different but nice.

I enjoyed his closeness more than I’d expected to.

There was a moment when he looked about ready to kiss me, and that was the precise moment my brain panicked. I wasn’t ready for that—not out here and not around people. Not yet.

“Thank you for this,” I said as I stepped back. My anxiety kicked in, hoping to hell I didn’t offend him. His expression didn’t give me any inkling that I had. “I had a good time.”

“Me too,” he replied. “If you ever want to join us again, we’d be happy to have you.”

“Maybe if we walk less.” I glanced down at Ernie, who hadn’t moved in a solid twenty minutes. “Right, Ernie?”

He huffed, but that was it.

“Have a good day, Logan.”

“ You too.” I offered one last smile before slipping my hands in my pockets and walking back across the park with a million and one little thoughts rolling through my mind.

I liked Emerson, and I enjoyed our date. So, why didn’t it feel… right?

It wasn’t until six-thirty that I regretted extending my lunch date. I was still buried under things I needed to do and had no hope of getting home to Eva anytime soon. Everyone else had gone home, which left me practically alone in the dimly lit building.

I sighed and ran my hands over my face before calling Eva from my desk phone. It was just easier to put her on speakerphone than anything else.

“ Hello! This is your loving wife calling to find out what I’m making for dinner ,” Eva said rapidly when I answered the phone. Was that country music on in the background?

“Since when do you cook?” I asked.

“ Well… ” She clicked her tongue dramatically. “ I was going to order takeout and put it in fancy bowls and say I made it. And because you love me, you were going to entertain my insanity. ”

“While you’re at it, can you take my portion of whatever you pick and put it in a Tupperware container since I won’t be home for a few more hours?” I felt bad even saying the words as she fell silent. That silence stretched on uncomfortably.

“ Do we even own Tupperware? ” she whispered, making me chuckle.

“I honestly have no idea,” I said.

“ That’s fine ,” she told me. “ I’ll make sure something is set aside for you. Long day? ”

“Last minute lunch date. I planned to tell you over dinner, but it ran longer than expected, and now I need to make up some of the work I should’ve done.”

“ Oh, that’s exciting. And it ran longer than expected, which means it went well. Unless it didn’t. It wasn’t another Chad, was it? You didn’t murder someone, did you? Do I need to bail you out of jail? ”

“No.” I laughed at her joke. “No. I mean, yes, it went well. His name is Emerson. I sort of pulled the trigger on a lunch date today after talking to him fo r a short bit. We went to lunch, but I didn’t eat lunch. Neither did he. Ernie ate the free bread.”

“ Ernie ?” she repeated. “ Did you go on a date with a gay couple? ”

“Ernie is his Great Dane.”

“ Okay, that’s freaking adorable. ”

“It was different, but I liked it. We drank coffee, took Ernie for a walk, held hands, sat and talked, and I stayed way over my time for my lunch break, which is why I’m stuck at the office,” I told her.

I sort of rushed over the middle part, half-hoping she didn’t hear me and half-hoping she did.

It wasn’t that I cared if she knew—I didn’t have to tell her if I didn’t want to.

That was our agreement on the details. I just didn’t know how to explain how I was feeling afterward.

About the date. Not the hand-holding. The hand-holding and the hug had been just fine.

But the more I ran through the date in my head, something felt off.

“ Hold your sexy ass up, Mister. ” Yeah, she’d heard me. “ Don’t think I missed the hand-holding part. That’s a first. I have to assume you didn’t hold Chad’s hand. You probably would’ve broken it. ”

“A hundred percent, yes, I would’ve.”

“ How are you feeling? ”

“It was nice. It was comfortable… I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting it to feel comfortable.”

“ So, are you going on a second date with him? ”

“I don’t know. Maybe? I don’t know, Eva. It didn’t feel…” I sighed. Right? Wrong? Okay? Natural? What was I trying to say? What did I even feel?

“ Well, ” Eva began slowly, “ maybe he isn’t the right one for you—the one you figure everything out with—but that doesn’t mean he can’t be the right now one. Does that make sense? ”

“I guess,” I said.

“ There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a few dates with him, sweetheart. You did put casual dating on your profile, and you said it yourself that you enjoyed your lunch date with Ernie. ”

“Subtle.” I chuckled.

“ Maybe we could get a Great Dane, ” she suggested. “ Really go all in on helping you connect with Emerson. Oh, you two could go on double doggie dates! ”

“We are not getting a dog to help me date. Besides, you don’t want a Great Dane. They’re the size of a small horse.”

“ Are you saying I could live up to my childhood dream of owning a pony? ” Eva gasped playfully, and I snorted.

God, I loved my wife. “ In all seriousness, Logan, whatever you want to do, I’ll support you.

In my novice opinion, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a few more dates with Emerson and Ernie while you talk to other people on the app.

If anything, it’ll help you figure out a little more of what doesn’t feel right and what does.

You can’t know any of that without the experience. ”

“That’s very true. Do you think it’s dishonest, though? It feels dishonest.”

“ Most people don’t date the way we did. ”

“Oh, you mean one doesn’t punch the other out of a treehouse and then apologize with Fruit Loops?” I teased.

“ Maybe that’s what we need. We should build a treehouse .”

“I’m sure the city would be okay if we took over our intersection to do that.”

“ Most people date for years before they find anything serious, ” Eva said. “ I once heard one of the ladies say it’s a numbers game. So, more dates equal better luck figuring things out. ”

“He did say he and Ernie would enjoy another lunch date,” I replied.

“ Well, now you can’t let Ernie down. ”

“Of course not.” I chuckled. “Thank you for helping me talk this out. I swear, I know how to handle things, but sometimes…”

“ Those fucking anxiety dragons ,” she finished for me.

“Yeah, those fucking anxiety dragons.”

“ It’s what I’m here for, Logan. Order yourself dinner if you’re going to be at the office much later. I’m going out, so I probably won’t be here when you get home. ”

“Date?”

“ Not tonight. I decided to take myself out after dinner ,” she told me. “ I’m treating myself to a drink and listening to some country music. There’s no reason I can’t date myself too. It’s about time I figured out what I like, and what better way than to go out alone? ”

“That sounds nice.” I smiled. That little bit about country music I tucked away and made a promise to play it more when she was around. There was something special about watching her find herself again. She was still in the baby steps phase, but I loved it nonetheless.

“ Do you remember the guy you bailed out of jail? ”

“Yes.” Rhett Carson. Yes, I did remember him.

“ His band is playing, ” Eva said. “ They were good—at least what I heard of them last time. ”

“Ah.” I nodded, like she could see me. I wasn’t sure how I felt about her hanging out with him.

Was he a walking red flag—as Elliot would put it?

Absolutely. But he did protect her when I wasn’t there.

That held value. “Well, just text me where you’re going and what amount you’ll need for bail money this time. ”

“ Maybe I should just go straight to jail this time, ” Eva laughed, “ and just hang out there. Save us both the time. ”

“It’d be much appreciated, honey. I love you. Be safe tonight.”

“ I will. ”

Before I returned to work, I opened up Tumble and shot Emerson a message.

Journey81 : I had a great time today with you and Ernie. I usually do lunch at the same time every day, if you’d be interested in meeting up again this week? Or next.

His response was practically instant.

SchnauzerDad45 : I’d like that. Maybe we can eat lunch next time?

Journey8 1 : Please. I’m going to end up ordering more for dinner while I work because I’m starving.

SchnauzerDad45 : Still at the office?

Journey81 : Yeah. I have things I have to catch up on.

SchnauzerDad45 : Ah, the price of a good time. I’m paying it too.

Journey81 : It’s one I don’t mind paying—in legal jargon and contracts, not math.

SchnauzerDad45 : Never math. How horrible.

Journey81 : Exactly. Lol.

I faltered because while I needed to work, I did enjoy talking to him too. Eva was going out, which meant I wasn’t rushing home to anything. I stared around my desk. Who cared if I spent a little more time in the office alone or at home alone?

Journey81 : So, what’re you ordering for dinner because I honestly have no idea what I want.