Page 9

Julian

“Why didn’t she say the safe word?” Calder asks.

“I… don’t know,” I say quietly. I pull my jeans on and step out of the room to check on Eliza. I have never seen someone sob and throw up before, but she is a mess. I don’t get a chance to get near her before she suddenly stands and starts grabbing things off the counter to throw at me.

“ Get away from me!” Eliza screams before launching a bottle of mouthwash at me.

“Woah. Liza. Stop and breathe for—” I try to say.

“ Go away. Leave me alone!” she screams again, throwing other objects. I dodge all of them, but as I get closer to her, she seems to be panicking more and more.

“Liza,” I say softly, putting my hands up to show I am not being confrontational.

I am so confused because this is not the same woman we have been chatting with for two weeks.

Just this morning, she said she wanted me to call her a whore while I fucked her.

We were able to come home two days early, so we did. I don’t get what is happening.

“Please stop,” she whimpers as tears stream down her cheeks.

“Liza, baby. Why didn’t you say the safe word? We talked about—”

“ I didn’t ask for this!” she screams. “ I told you to stop. Why didn’t you stop?”

“Eliza, really?” I ask. “We explained everything we were—”

“ You ignored me for two fucking weeks and then raped me?” She screams. I get within arm’s length of her, and she immediately swings her fist, and it connects against my jaw.

“Fuck, Liza,” I hiss and step back, holding my jaw. “Why the fuck did you ask for this if—”

“ I didn’t!” she screeches.

“ Yes, you did!” I yell back at her. “ Two fucking weeks we’ve talked about this on VelvetBound. Why did—”

“ I don’t have a fucking profile on there. Stop fucking lying !” she screams. “ Get away from me!”

“I have the messages, Eliza. Yes, you did,” I argue.

“Prove it,” she says, standing her ground. This pisses me off, so I grab her hand and pull her out of the bathroom before she can pull away from me. When I get us into the bedroom, I push her down to sit on the bed before turning to get my phone.

“How could you let him do that?” she asks Calder tearfully.

“Liza, baby… We were very fucking clear about this. We covered everything,” Calder says. “He didn’t do anything you didn’t give consent to a dozen times.”

“ I didn’t…” She starts to yell again but stops when I hand her my phone with the chat log open. “What the fuck is this?”

“Two weeks’ worth of your consent,” I say bitterly.

As she scrolls, the realization hits me that she didn’t know. Dread seeps into my soul when she starts crying again. “This isn’t me,” she whimpers. When the phone slips out of her hands and hits the floor, it hits me.

I raped her.

This wasn’t kink, it was blatant sexual assault. She fucking begged me… and I raped her.

“Eliza, I’m sorry,” I say as tears surface. I drop down to my knees in front of her as tears spill down my cheeks, and I take her hands. “I thought… I’m so sorry. I… you have to believe me… I didn’t mean to. I swear to God, I didn’t mean to. I thought you knew.”

My heart shatters into a million tiny pieces, watching her cry.

I never meant to hurt her. I thought we covered everything.

I never thought to second-guess it. Why didn’t I at least check in with her?

I should have. Maybe if I had, it wouldn’t have gone that far.

I promised her that I would take care of her.

We fucking poured our hearts out in those messages.

I told her I loved her. I don’t know what to do, so I lay my head on her lap and wrap my arms around her waist as emotions dump out of me.

“I’m so sorry, Liza. I’m sorry,” I cry.