Page 48

Julian

“No, no, no. Fuck,” I shout as I try to feel for a pulse.

“I can’t… she’s dying. She can’t die.” I am fully panicked but doing what needs to be done.

Jasper is on the phone with dispatch, and I can already hear sirens.

I start CPR and just focus on keeping her alive.

Calder is holding his shirt against her side, but there is blood everywhere.

Every time I press down on her chest, more blood leaves her body.

“She’s bleeding too much,” Calder says.

“She can’t die. She can’t,” I say tearfully as I continue to pump her heart.

“Plug the hole!” Gunner shouts.

“What? This isn’t…”

“He hit a goddamn artery. Put your goddamn finger in the hole. You’ll feel it just hold pressure until they get here,” Gunner says.

Calder pulls the bandage away and pushes his finger into the gunshot wound.

I am hoping she will cry out or at least flinch, but nothing happens.

I continue pumping her chest and pausing to give her breaths.

Ryan is with the girls, I think. Everything is chaos, but I need to just stay focused on Eliza.

I can’t lose you. Not to that fucking bastard.

I was right here, and she still got hurt.

I promised her she would never hurt again, and I failed her.

“Got it! I think I got it!” Calder says happily.

“They’re around the corner,” Jasper says. “Where is Cassidy?”

“What?” Oscar snaps. “She was standing with you?”

“No! Ryan got the girls,” Jasper says.

“She was never with me. I thought she was with Julian,” Ryan says.

Oh, fuck…

The ambulance gets to us, and paramedics rush towards us. Cops have flooded the area as they take over CPR. Calder explains what he did and felt. Instead of having him move, they keep him in place and get them both into the ambulance. My head is fucking spinning, and I can’t breathe.

One minute I am standing, and the next I am on my knees. Hysteria takes over, and someone wraps their arms around me as they pull me up. “She’s going to be okay,” Oscar says. “They’ve got her. You did good.”

“Where is Cass? She’s got to be here. She has to be okay,” I cry.

“She’s gone,” Ryan growls, holding up her shoe.

“Fuck!” I scream and punch the brick wall.

Pain throbs through my hand and that just pisses me off more.

I have building rage that I can’t expel fast enough.

I scream just to try and get it out of my soul.

I can’t save them if I can’t focus. I feel like my life is falling apart in front of me.

I suddenly feel like I can’t breathe, and I panic.

“Stop. Julian, stop. Breathe. Okay? Breathe,” Ryan says holding my face. “You are having a panic attack. Just breathe. Okay?”

“She’s gone,” I choke out, taking deep breaths.

“She’s gone, but we will find her,” Ryan says. “And when we do…”

“He’s fucking dead,” I growl, letting the rage settle in my mind and take over completely. I don’t care what I have to do I will make that son of a bitch suffer.