Page 83 of Under the Mistletoe with You

‘I think so.I mean, it could have been a fox.Or a badger.’

‘I hope it’s not a badger.’

‘Why?’

‘I just don’t trust anything that only comes out at night.’

It’s such a bizarre sentence that Christopher can’t help but burst out laughing, and to his relief Nash joins in.‘Noted.A new Nash Nadeau fear – nocturnal creatures.’

Nash raises an eyebrow at him.‘I think being a little afraid of the unfamiliar dark is normal.’

‘Do you not like camping then?’

‘Yeah.Inside my tent.Where there are no badgers.Anyway, we’re getting off track.I did something nice.’

He can’t help the laugh that escapes him.‘I don’t think it counts as doing something nice if you tell the other person it’s nice.’

‘Stop being a pedant.While we were outcooling down, I went to the corner shop and picked up some truly disgusting-looking frozen pizzas for us.’

So many of the muscles in Christopher’s body seem to relax at once.‘That might be the most beautiful sentence I’ve ever heard.’

‘Don’t get too excited.It’s real bottom-of-the-barrel stuff.One of them has the word “sloppy” in the title.’

‘If it’s cheese and bread, that’s good enough.’

‘Oven’s heating up.Why don’t we pick something to watch from Net—’

‘NO.’

Christopher is about to rush to the coffee table to pre- emptively lose the TV remote, when Nash bursts out laughing.

‘Man, that was too easy.’

‘I’m just ...very protective!Of my algorithm!’

‘Okay, I’m sure that might be true, but is it also possible ...’Nash pauses, not taking his eyes from Christopher, ‘that you’ve known who I am the whole time and just decided to be a bit of a prick about it for your own amusement?Don’t go into acting by the way.You’re horrendous at it.’

Well.

Nash has him there.

‘All right, so I’ve seen afewof your films.’

‘And knew who I was.’

‘Andknew who you were.But I was trying to not freak you out.And then if you hadn’t been so impossibly annoying the first night and next morning, then I probably would have told you.And then it just had been too long for me to casually bring it up without sounding like I’d trapped you into staying with me.’

Nash cackles so hard that he almost falls over.

‘All right, I’ll admit I wasn’t my shiniest self when I got here,’ Nash manages to get out in between his cackles, ‘but in my defence I had just been in a truck with a load of sheep being questioned on which celebrity women I’d slept with.’

‘I thought he was just a fan of your films?’

‘Yeah, but Gethin seemed to think it was his duty to interview me.Perhaps he’s the leader of some rabid fan community.Instead of Club Chalamet, perhaps Club Nadeau.’

Christopher tries to hide his discomfort about all this fandom chat, but can’t help but say, ‘That’s barely alliterative.They must have a better name.Have you not googled them?’

‘Calloway, I’m publicly trans.Whatever is said about me on the internet is not for my eyes.’