Page 136 of Under the Mistletoe with You

‘It’s brave, though.Even if it is just a dream for now, you still did it.That’s not a failure.You tried something new that mattered to you.Most people don’t even bother doing that.’

As if making his point for him, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.It’s not a phone call from Kurt, but itisa calendar invite for them to have a talk tomorrow.

Fuck’s sake, it must be barely six in the morning over there.Can he not just have a moment to enjoy the view?Not just the sea, but Christopher, too.

Nash has barely been awake long enough to process everything that happened last night.First off, having a seizure in front of someone, which is just a whole other level of vulnerability that most people will never experience.But secondly, how gentle Christopher was with him.How he’s continued to be that way this morning.If Nash is honest, part of him was half expecting the other shoe to drop, for Christopher to realise what an imposition it was ...he is.

But he hasn’t.

He’s a little afraid of the things that he’s feeling and trying not to notice.He thinks about trying to tell Christopher what it all meant to him, but the words stick in his throat.

And that’s when a perfect snowflake lands right on the tip of Nash’s nose.

Above them falls a fresh flurry.

‘It’s snowing,’ Christopher whispers with such boyish glee that it grips Nash’s heart.

‘Snow on the beach.I thought that was impossible.’

‘Magic.It must be magic.’

* * *

Christopher

Snowflakes gather like icing sugar all along the brim of Nash’s hat, peppering the fringe of hair sticking out at the front.They lock eyes and Christopher feels the weight of what’s growing between them.Can either of them deny it anymore?It feels increasingly difficult to say it’s ‘just blowing off steam’ after the last couple of days.

‘Nash,’ he says, his voice low and soft.

‘Christopher,’ Nash echoes in the same tone.

‘Can I kiss you?’

‘You’ve been doing that for the last couple of days.’

‘Yes, but I wanted to ask you again.Just to be sure.’

Their kiss is the only warmth in the world right now.It’s soft and tender, as if they’re just finding each other for the first time.He doesn’t want it to end.

Christopher wraps his arms around Nash, deepening the kiss.Even through all the layers they’re wearing, he’s sure that Nash can feel his heart beating, furiously joyful.

He knows this is dangerous, to kiss a man who is destined to leave.But hang sensibility.He wants this.He wantsNash.

He wants Nash Nadeau, who tastes like the sweet warmth of home ...and a little of gingerbread, which means he’s getting a telling-off later.His kiss, this kiss, is more than hecould ever have imagined.So much for movie magic; he has the real magic of a kiss in the snow.

An improbable, impossible kiss.

But it’s all real.It’s all theirs.

And it’s all he’s ever wanted.

When they break apart, Nash’s cheeks are pink.‘I was wondering when you were going to do that again.’

‘I didn’t know if you wanted me to.’

‘Of course I wanted you to.’And he grabs Christopher by the coat lapels and pulls him into another kiss.It’s like being dragged into Nash’s orbit.He never ever wants to leave.

They walk on a bit, hand in hand, and Christopher dares to dream of another day at the beach.What would it be like in spring, or summer, when they could brave the chill and swim in the sea?He wants to walk along the beach with Nash in all seasons, in all weathers.It’s dangerous to think about, but he’s realising he really wants more days like this.More time together.