Page 60 of Under the Mistletoe with You

While Priti and Myffy discuss her care needs in the living room, Christopher and Nash busy themselves with washing and drying the crockery that’s piled up in the kitchen sink from earlier.There’s a calm in this, too, Christopher realises.The domesticity.Helping people.Being part of a community.He’s tired, sure, but he feels at peace, too.It’s new for him, but he likes it.

‘I’m going to stay over tonight,’ says Priti, coming into the kitchen to relieve them of their duty.‘Myffy needs a little extra help, especially as she’s been without her carers all day.She’s got a spare bed so I’m set.’

‘Just text us if you want us to come get you tomorrow,’ Nash says.

Not wanting to overstay their welcome, they say goodbye to Myffy, who blows them both big air kisses in return, and head back to the van.

‘That’s all our deliveries done,’ sighs Christopher contentedly as he gets back behind the wheel.

‘All two of them,’ laughs Nash.

‘Thank you.For all your help today.’

‘It was nice.’His voice is quiet, gone are the barbed edges.He must be tired, Christopher thinks.

They lock eyes briefly, and there’s a moment where Nash rearranges his face and body, as though making himself look more like his normal self.It’s strange.

‘Let’s get home.Onwards, driver,’ Nash says, before Christopher can question it any longer.

Chapter Fourteen

Nash

The soft orange glow of the streetlights combined with the lull of the van’s engine are enough to send Nash almost all the way to sleep.There’s such a stillness here.It’s just him, Christopher and the navy-blue sky peppered with stars.It feels like a dream.

He is tired.Really tired, and even though he’s been clearing snow left, right and centre, he has been ruminating.He hates that.After all, that’s what all the working out is for, apart from the Hollywood-prescribed hot-bod requirements: keeping his mind quiet.

All day, he’s been so busy.The meeting, shovelling the sidewalks, the supermarket and helping Myffy.The cat.The flour incident.That was just today, somehow.It feels like the longest day of his life.

He feels overtired.Like a little kid who has done too much and it’s so past their bedtime that they feel wired and half asleep all at once.

And the thing is, there is one specific thought he keeps mulling over – one that isn’t the big, widerwhat the hell do I do about my careerthought.And it probably has to be voiced.Especially given how tired he is.And there’s a good chance that he’s not going to be here just one more night.

Is he really going to talk about this?It’s not something he brings up with strangers, or really anyone outside his need-to-know circle, but maybe Christopher technically falls into that category now, especially as he’s somewhat responsiblefor him.His old therapist would tell him to just talk about it, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Often, in fact, talking about it has actually been the problem.

What if it becomes a problem?After all, they’re in one small apartment together, or, well, one small van right now.Is now the right time?Maybe he should wait until Christopher isn’t behind the wheel, but this way Nash doesn’t have to look at him or read Christopher’s reactions as he takes in his secrets.

But then again, after watching how Christopher is with people – awkward but well-intentioned and thoughtful – maybe it’ll be different this time.

And if not, well, it can’t be as bad as the last time.Worst case, he finds someone at the community centre to drive him somewhere.Anywhere.

The people he lives with always find out eventually, and he and Christopher are so constantly in each other’s way that there’s no way he’s not going to see it unless Nash is really lucky.Plus, Christopher seems kind of oblivious to some things.But they should have a conversation.As much as he’d rather throw himself out the van before they do that.

He clears his throat and stares out of the window at the bright moon over the mountains.

‘The answer is, I can’t, by the way.’

‘The answer to what?’Christopher asks, glancing over briefly.

‘Whether I can drive.You asked me earlier.’

‘Oh.’There’s a little surprised tone in his voice.‘I thought LA was basically one massive road.’

‘It is.’

‘You didn’t learn there?’