Page 55 of Under the Mistletoe with You

Christopher:I was only wearing my underpants.

He’s a little pleased with himself when Ambrose sends another string of capital letters and exclamation marks.

Christopher:But no.The man tried to make a set of weights out of bags of flour.

Laurel:That’s very clever.

Christopher:Except that they exploded all over my kitchen

Laurel:All good ideas need a few drafts.

Christopher:He did fix my van which was slightly better.

Ambrose:a handyman who likes to work out and is also a buff actor??

Ambrose:christopher i need to know what is wrong with you, like clinically but also emotionally

Laurel:If you don’t want him, we’ll have him.

Ambrose:i’m not keen on sharing

Laurel:Fine, Ambrose will have him.

Christopher:I don’t think we can just decide this on his behalf.

Laurel:Ask him then.You can gauge his interest.See if he fancies you as much as you do him.

Christopher:I do not fancy him.

Laurel:You did call him attractive and go through that whole tortured painting metaphor.

Ambrose:you don’t have to be in love with him to take him to bone town

Ambrose:the bone zone

Ambrose:the city of bones, population you

Laurel:indeed

Ambrose:I’d like to indeed that

Laurel:What does that mean?

Christopher:It means that Ambrose is being very uncouth.

Ambrose:I’d like to couth him too

Laurel:I’m positive that’s not a thing.

Ambrose:it is if you try hard enough

Christopher:I am not going to couth him and I’m blocking you both.

Ambrose:you know we’re right

* * *

The one good thing about Ajaxing an entire kitchen is that it really does concentrate the mind.Christopher is on his second or third play of ‘Washing Machine Heart’ by Mitski when he admits the kitchen is cleaner than ever.