Page 83 of Trust

Why not?

It had taken Adam a long time to take me anywhere, and even now, we usually go to places where we aren’t likely to be seen.

He doesn’t want to explain why he’s with a man.

I understand it. He’s not out at work. He’s explained that people who are face a lot of discrimination even now, and I don’t want to be the reason he struggles or gets left behind.

But sometimes…

Sometimes, I wish he’d do more than occasionally take me to a restaurant.

My heart drops into my stomach at the reminder of that disastrous evening.

“I’d like that,” I say.

It isn’t like Ilya’s going to hold my hand or kiss me in public. He’s still mafia — bratva — and he wouldn’t want to explain to his men that he’s with me, either.

It still makes me feel warm inside.

“Then let’s go.” Ilya smiles at me. “But we’ll take the train. I don’t want to find parking.”

The idea of Ilya taking public transport is as strange as the idea ofAdamtaking the train. He doesn’t seem to mind, though, and I nod to him. “Okay.” I don’t want to keep bringing Adam up by commenting that he’d never do something like that, but the thought is at the forefront of my mind.

The aquarium is a twenty minute train ride away, and things get more crowded the closer we get. The tourists are out in full force, everybody eager to see the sights the big city has to offer on this nice Saturday morning.

Once we get there, I see why I never thought to come to the aquarium on my own: It’s $40 per person to get in. Ilya pays for both of us without a single complaint about the cost or how these people are scamming us.

“Do you want to start with saltwater or freshwater fish?” Ilya asks, handing me a copy of the brochure. “There’s a tank where you can touch some fish, too, but a lot of children will be there.”

“I don’t mind that,” I tell him, only to tense when I realize he probably does. “But we should probably avoid it.”

I want to touch the fish, though. I want to have that kind of experience.

Ilya gives me a hard look. “You want to touch the fish? Then we go touch fish.”

I flounder for a moment, unsure of what to make of the firm tone in his voice. “Okay,” I say, trying for casual despite the fact that I’m elated.

I get to touch fish.

I get to do something I’ve never done before… and Ilya is at my side.

“Let’s start with that before the place gets overrun with kids,” I suggest, as though it’s not because I’m that excited.

Ilya nods and squeezes my shoulder before leading me toward that hall of the aquarium.

Children are already crowding around it, with an aquarium attendant guiding them on how to touch the fish properly and which fish is what. There’s a large stingray that everybody is eager to get their hands on.

The aquarium attendant sees us and smiles, holding up her hand to signal for us to wait.

“Did you know stingrays have no bones in their body?” the attendant asks. “It’s all cartilage, which is what your ears and nose are made of. But let’s make sure to give everyone a turn.”

The kids whine, and one of the older ones pouts and very pointedly keeps her hand in the tank. She glares at a smaller child trying to squeeze in.

I shift uncomfortably, glancing at Ilya. I expect to see impatience in his expression, but he looks oddly amused by the whole ordeal.

“We don’t have to wait,” I tell him. “It might be a few minutes.”

The attendant tries to sweet-talk the older child, but it doesn’t seem like she’s making much progress. She glances at the girl’s parents, but they aren’t paying much attention to her.