Page 15 of Trust

Adam shakes his head and moves down the hall to the living room. “Christ. I really thought I had this promotion in the bag, but of course you’d sabotage it for me.”

I could’ve told him I’d never be a good informant, that I’d fuck it up like I fuck everything up, but he’d been so insistent.

For a little while, I’d been proud that he’d even thought I could do it to begin with.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, following him down the hall. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

I don’t know how, but I’ll figure something out.

Adam sits down on the loveseat, legs spread wide so there isn’t enough space for me next to him. He covers his face with his hand and lets out a frustrated sound. “Well, unless you can magically get me all the information I need on Zima’s organization, there’s no making up for it. Bad enough my last informant disappeared. Andhewasn’t sleeping with the angry mobster.”

I shudder. It brings me back to the question I’d asked him only minutes ago: doesn’t he care about me at all? What if I’d succeeded in getting close, only to get caught?

Then I’d be the one who had disappeared.

“I’m sorry,” I say again.

I step close to him, then kneel down at his feet in a familiar position. This is the part where he normally strokes my hair when he’s in a good mood.

But he’s not in a good mood, and when his fingers tangle in my hair, the hold is rough, harsh.

Adam forces my head close to his crotch, rubbing my nose against his clothed cock. I fight back a whimper of pain when he twists his fingers until he’s pulling hard at my hair, but I know what he expects.

He uses his free hand to unfasten his pants, taking his cock out.

“Well, since you’ve been gagging for it all night,” Adam says, rubbing his cock against my cheek. “Come on. Open up.”

It’s a relief, in a way.

I’d expected him to make a nasty comment about how I’d sullied my mouth by kissing Ilya like I had. I’d expected him to refuse me entirely, to be cold and distant and make me feel like I’m less than nothing.

At least this way, I can do something useful. This is better than being rejected.

I open my mouth for him, letting him guide his cock past my lips and over my tongue. He’s not erect, not yet, but as I lick and suck, he gets hard in my mouth.

When Adam and I had first started dating, I’d loved doing this for him. He praised me, and he said he’d never had anyone as good as me before.

But two years in, the kind words are gone. He grunts as he thrusts into my mouth, and he holds me in place as he drivesdeeper into me. My eyes water and I force myself to stay calm and breathe through my nose until he finally backs off enough for me to get air again.

I imagine he’s saying those words again.

You’re doing so good, Micah.

I love when you do that.

Just like that. You know just how to do it, don’t you, baby?

I let my mind drift as he fucks my face, thinking about all the times he’s taken his time with me, all the times he’s been careful and loving.

It’s not always like this, I remind myself. It’s because I fucked up, and I won’t fuck up like that again.

I startle when his fingers tighten in my hair, drawn back into the moment.

“Suck it, Micah,” he orders me, breathless and harsh.

I obey, not bothering with artistry as I suck hard enough to make my cheeks hollow out. Over and over, I lick and suck and take him as deep as I can.

It’s not quite into my throat, but he doesn’t seem to mind today.