Trust

Every day, I need to remind myself that I’m lucky. I’m lucky I have a home. I’m lucky I’m healthy. I’m lucky I have a partner. But it’s hard to remember that I’m lucky when my lover tells me I need to get close to Ilya Zima, notorious Russian mafia boss. If I do this, my partner’s career is set. Get close, find out Ilya’s secrets, and my life will be happy again. There will be no more yelling, no more hitting. The BDSM will make me feel good again, not bad. Only Ilya isn’t rough or terrifying like I...

Every day, I need to remind myself that I’m lucky. I’m lucky I have a home. I’m lucky I’m healthy. I’m lucky I have a partner. But it’s hard to remember that I’m lucky when my lover tells me I need to get close to Ilya Zima, notorious Russian mafia boss. If I do this, my partner’s career is set. Get close, find out Ilya’s secrets, and my life will be happy again. There will be no more yelling, no more hitting. The BDSM will make me feel good again, not bad. Only Ilya isn’t rough or terrifying like I imagined. He’s gentle, and sweet, and he likes my music. He wants to pet me and make me feel good. He understands me. The more time I spend with him, the more I forget who he’s supposed to be. The more I fall for him. And the more I desperately want him to save me.

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