Page 121 of Trust

“We’ll figure it out.” I wave dismissively. “We can use this whole mess with the raid as a cover. We have to lay low for a while anyway. You always liked the whole gambling business more, anyway.”

Boris scoffs. “I don’tlikeit. I just enjoy seeing idiots lose their money. But fine. Whatever you need, Boss, I’ll support you.” After a beat, he grins. “Maybe you need to start callingme‘boss.’”

I punch him lightly in the shoulder. “Don’t get too full of yourself, Boris.” I glance at Adam’s corpse and curl my nose. “All right. Let’s get started. I want this body gone before Mishka is out of the shower.”

The faster we finish here, the faster Micah and I can get back to my condo—and the faster I can finally start my life.

TWENTY-TWO

MICAH

I don’t know why I’m not scared of Ilya.

I should be.

He’d shot Adam, then he’d beaten him to death with his bare hands.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that this wasn’t the first time Ilya has killed someone, probably in the same way, and I should be panicking about the idea of being alone with him. He could’ve been pretending to be gentle to me, to care about me, only to pay me back for betraying him.

I don’t think he was.

Instead of looking at him as we enter the condo, though, I go to the aquarium so I can stare at the fish. It’s easier this way, to look anywhere but at Ilya, as I try to sort through my conflicting thoughts.

I’m still in pain from the belting, and my throat is bruised from where Adam had had such a tight grasp on it. My ears are still ringing from his shouting, and the memory of the shot ringing out…

Adam could’ve killed me.

If Ilya hadn’t showed up, he might have done just that.

And if not today…

It was only a matter of time.

He was never going to let me go, not alive, and it’s a sobering thought.

“He used to call them ‘bullshit domestics,’” I tell Ilya, staring at the colorful fish as one of them darts across the aquarium. “When people would hurt the person they said they loved, and they’d call the cops.” I don’t know why I’m telling him this. I don’t know why I’m saying any of it. “He used to rant and rave about it. And I always thought… What did they do to deserve it?”

I finally look over at Ilya, afraid to see his expression at the same time as Ineedto see it.

“Because they had to have deserved it, right? Just like I had. You said you didn’t understand why your mother stayed, but I thought I knew.” I shake my head. I’d been so wrong.

“She was afraid,” Ilya says carefully. “She didn’t deserve it. She was afraid he would kill her. And she was right.”

I look back at the fish. “Adam was never going to let me go,” I say, though I’m not sure whether it’s true or if I’m only trying to convince myself. “He would’ve hounded you until he found something, even if it meant setting you up. And he would’ve made me pay tenfold for every day I was gone.”

“Men like him, like my father… they’re insecure. If you break illusion of control, they get angry and snap.” Ilya comes to stand next to me. “I’m sorry you went through all this, Mishka. You didn’t deserve it. You never deserved it.”

Didn’t I? I don’t know anymore.

I stay silent.

“Do you want to eat?” Ilya asks. “I’ll cook for us. You can nap in the meantime.”

I don’t want to nap. I don’t want to dream of what had happened. I don’t want to close my eyes and see Adam’s body on the floor, knowing that he’s going to bedisposed oflike so much trash.

Like he would’ve disposed of me.

A wave of nausea hits me, and I shake my head.