Page 44 of Trained In Sin

"I don't know," I admit. "But maybe we can figure it out together. Maybe love isn't about being perfect, maybe it's about choosing someone despite their flaws and helping them be better."

Sebastian laughs bitterly. "You want to fix me?"

"I want to love you. All of you. The parts that are beautiful and the parts that are terrifying. The man who builds empires and the man who eliminates monsters. The protector and the predator."

"You don't know what you're saying."

"Yes, I do." I stand, moving toward him. "I'm saying I love you, Sebastian. I love the man who killed a paedophile to protect me. I love the man who's so afraid of being abandoned that he pushes people away first. I love the monster who's on my side."

Something breaks in Sebastian's expression, a crack in the wall he's built around himself. "Saphy..."

"I'm saying I choose you. Not the sanitised version of you that plays by society's rules, but the real you. The dangerous you. The you who loves me enough to kill for me."

"You can't. You shouldn't."

"But I do. And I am. "

I close the distance between us, reaching up to cup his face in my hands. "I love you, Sebastian Blackwood. And I'm tired of fighting it."

The kiss is desperate, hungry. Separation and misunderstanding pouring out in a single moment of connection. Sebastian's hands fist in my hair, pulling me against him like he's drowning and I'm air.

"I thought I'd lost you," he gasps against my mouth. "I thought you'd never forgive me."

"You haven't lost me. I'm here. I'm yours."

"Mine?"

"Yours. Completely, terrifyingly yours."

Sebastian's control snaps completely. His hands are everywhere, desperate and claiming, stripping away my jacket, my shirt, anything that creates distance between us. I respond with equal hunger, tearing at his clothes, needing to feel his skin against mine.

We don't make it to the bedroom. He lifts me onto the small table, scattering the empty bottles to the floor with a crash that echoes through the cottage. His mouth is on my neck, my collarbone, marking me with teeth and tongue. He pulls off my trousers in one swift pull and leans back into me.

"Tell me you want this," he demands against my throat. "Tell me you want me."

"I want you. God, Sebastian, I've never stopped wanting you."

He pulls back to look at me, his eyes dark with desire and something deeper. "Even knowing what I am? "

"Especially knowing what you are."

That's all the permission he needs. His hands are rough, demanding, rediscovering every inch of my body like he's trying to memorise me.

When he enters me, it's with a desperation that borders on violence, and I meet him with equal intensity. He pulls me up to meet him, chest to chest, before fully pulling out and slamming back into me. One hand yanking my hair, the other holding the table steady beneath us, he bites at my neck, my ear. He takes my bottom lip into his mouth and bites, hard, and I think I taste blood, but I just don’t care.

This isn't the careful seduction of our first time. This is raw need, three weeks of separation and fear and misunderstanding exploding into pure physical connection. He takes me hard, claiming me completely, and I surrender to it gladly.

"Mine," he growls against my ear, his rhythm relentless. Slamming into me, again and again, I take it all. "You're mine."

"Yours," I gasp, my nails digging into his shoulders. "Always yours."

The table creaks beneath us, but neither of us cares. Nothing exists except this moment, this reconnection, this proof that whatever we are together is stronger than fear or doubt or the expectations of the outside world.

When I come apart beneath him, it's with his name on my lips and the absolute certainty that this is where I belong. With him, despite everything. Because of everything.

Sebastian follows moments later, my name a prayer and a curse as he buries himself as deep as possible, marking me from the inside, out .

We stay like that for long moments, breathing heavily, slowly coming back to ourselves. Finally, Sebastian pulls back to look at me, his expression softer than I've ever seen it.

"I love you," he says quietly. "I'm not good at it, and I'll probably fuck it up repeatedly, but I love you more than I've ever loved anything."

"I love you too. And yes, you'll probably fuck it up. So will I. But we'll figure it out."

"What if I can't change? What if I'm always going to be controlling, possessive, dangerous?"

"Then I'll learn to love those parts of you too. But Sebastian?" I stroke his face gently. "You can change. You can learn to trust me with difficult truths. You can learn to let me make my own choices, even when you disagree with them."

"And if someone threatens you again?"

"Then you do whatever you think is necessary to protect me. But you tell me the truth about it. You don't try to shield me from reality."

Sebastian nods slowly. "No more lies by omission."

"No more lies by omission," I agree. "And no more running away when things get difficult."

"Deal." He helps me down from the table, both of us wincing at various aches and pains. He grabs my trousers from where he threw them, and hands them to me. "What happens now?"

"Now we go home. Together. And we figure out how to make this work. "

"The businesses, the empire I've been ignoring..."

"Will survive. Matthew's been covering for you, hasn't he?" I wiggle into my trousers.

"Probably. He's good at that."

"Then maybe it's time to stop firing people who care about you and start letting them help."

Sebastian pulls me into his arms, holding me close. "I can't promise I'll be easy to love."

"Good. Easy is boring. I don't want easy, I want you."

Outside, I can hear the sound of car doors slamming. Matthew and Beth, probably getting impatient or worried about how long I've been inside.

"We should go," I say reluctantly.

"In a minute." Sebastian's arms tighten around me. "Let me just... hold you for a minute. I need to know this is real."

"It's real. I'm real. This is real."

"I thought I'd lost you forever."

"You haven't lost me. You'll never lose me. Not unless you send me away."

"Never."

When we finally emerge from the cottage, Matthew and Beth are leaning against the car, deep in conversation. They both look up as we approach, taking in our dishevelled appearance and probably drawing their own conclusions.

"Everything all right?" Matthew asks, though his relief is obvious.

"Everything's perfect," I say, taking Sebastian's hand. "We're going home."

"Good," Beth says with a grin. "Because that cottage is probably structurally unsound now."

Sebastian has the grace to look embarrassed, but his grip on my hand doesn't loosen.

We've found our way back to each other. We've chosen love over fear, connection over safety, truth over comfortable lies.

And for the first time since this all began, I know exactly where I belong.

With the man who's dangerous enough to protect me from anything and gentle enough to let me save him in return.