Page 17 of Trained In Sin

It's a dangerous game I'm playing. Because if she can actually kiss me and feel nothing, if she can prove that the attraction is one-sided, then I'll have to honour my word. And I'm not sure I'm capable of walking away from her now.

"You're lying," she says, but there's uncertainty in her voice .

"I told you, I don't lie." And I mean it. "Kiss me, Saphy. If you can honestly tell me afterward that you feel nothing, I'll disappear from your life completely."

I watch her internal struggle play out across her face. Pride warring with fear. Curiosity battling with moral conviction. The alcohol making everything just fuzzy enough that bad decisions seem reasonable.

"And if I don't? If I refuse to play your game?"

"Then we both know why. Because you're afraid of what you'll feel. Because you know I'm right about the attraction between us."

It's the perfect psychological trap. Refuse, and she's admitting I'm right. Accept, and she's mine.

Her pride wins, just as I knew it would.

"Fine. But when this proves you wrong, you disappear. Forever."

"Agreed." But I already know I've won. The way she's looking at me, the way her body is responding, she's going to kiss me, and it's going to destroy every wall she's built around herself.

She steps closer, grabs my face in both hands, and pulls me down to her. The kiss starts as an angry challenge, meant to prove a point. But the moment our mouths connect, everything changes.

She tastes like everything I've been craving, something uniquely her. When I trace her lower lip with my tongue, seeking entrance, I expect her to pull away, to end this before it goes too far.

Instead, she opens her mouth and lets me in .

The kiss deepens, becomes something hungry and desperate. I can feel the exact moment she stops fighting and starts participating. Her hands fist in my shirt, pulling me closer instead of pushing me away. When I press her back against the brick wall, she doesn't resist.

This is nothing like the careful, controlled seduction I'd planned. This is raw need, stripped of pretence and politeness. My hands roam over her body, one tangling in her hair while the other slides down to grip her hip. She arches into me, and I can feel how much she wants this despite herself.

I break the kiss to trail my mouth down her neck, and she tips her head back to give me better access. "Still feel nothing?" I murmur against her throat, and the small whimper she makes in response nearly breaks what's left of my control.

She pulls my head back up and kisses me again, harder this time, with a desperation that matches my own. There's no hesitation now. No holding back. Just need and want and the kind of chemistry that burns everything else away.

My hands find the hem of her dress, and she doesn't stop me when I slide them underneath, exploring the warm skin of her thighs. She gasps into my mouth, and I swallow the sound, pressing harder against her until there's no space left between us.

I can feel how much she wants me, hard and urgent against her, and instead of being frightened, she's responding with equal intensity. Her hands find my shirt and slide underneath, her nails raking lightly across my abs, and I have to bite back a groan.

This is what desire feels like when it's real, when it's desperate, when it's stripped of all careful politeness. This is raw and primal and everything I've been craving .

"Saphy," I groan against her lips, and hearing her name spoken like that, like a prayer, like a curse, seems to drive her even wilder.

Her hands are everywhere now, exploring, claiming, driving me to the edge of madness. I want to take her right here, right now, against this wall. Want to show her exactly what she's been missing, what I can give her.

But then….

"Saphy! Where are you?"

The voice cuts through us like a bucket of ice water. Beth. Looking for her friend, getting closer to the alley.

I feel Saphy freeze in my arms, the spell broken as reality crashes back in. She shoves me away so hard I stumble, her face a mask of horror as she realizes what she's done.

"Oh my god. Oh my god, what have I done?"

"Saphy…" I start, but she's already backing away from me.

"Saphy!" Beth's voice is closer now, just around the corner.

"I cheated," Saphy whispers, and the self-loathing in her voice cuts deeper than any blade. "I cheated on my boyfriend."

"It was just a kiss…." I try, but we both know it was more than that. If Beth hadn't interrupted us, I would have taken her right here in this alley, and she would have let me.

"It wasn't just a kiss!" She's shaking now, whether from cold or shock or horror, I can't tell. "I wanted... I was going to... "

She can't finish the sentence, but she doesn't need to. We both know exactly what was about to happen.

Beth appears at the mouth of the alley then, and I watch her face change as she takes in the scene. Saphy dishevelled and pressed against the wall. Me standing a few feet away, my shirt wrinkled, my hair mussed.

"There you are! I've been searching everywhere…." Beth stops dead, alarm replacing relief. "Get away from her! I know who you are, you sick fuck! Get your hands off my friend!"

She moves toward us with fierce determination, ready to protect Saphy from the big bad wolf. If only she knew that her friend had been just as eager for this as I was.

"Beth, no…." Saphy starts, but Beth is already positioning herself between us.

"Sebastian Blackwood," Beth spits my name like a curse. "The stalker. What the fuck did you do to her? Did you hurt her?"

"Beth, stop," Saphy says, stepping around her friend to put herself between us. The irony isn't lost on me, she's protecting me now, after what we just shared. "He didn't... I wasn't..."

But she can't finish the sentence, can't admit what really happened. I watch Beth's face change as understanding dawns. The swollen lips, the flushed skin, the way Saphy is protecting me instead of cowering behind her friend.

"Oh my god," Beth breathes. "Saphy, please tell me you didn't..."

The horror in her voice is like a physical blow. I can see how much it affects Saphy, how deeply her friend's disappointment cuts .

"It was consensual," Saphy whispers, the words barely audible. "But it should never have happened. I need to go. Please, Beth, I need to get out of here."

"You kissed him back," Beth says, her voice flat with shock. "You actually... fuck, Saphy. You have a boyfriend!"

"I know." The shame in Saphy's voice makes something twist in my chest. "I know, okay? I fucked up. I fucked up massively. Can we please just go?"

Beth looks between us, her face a mix of concern and disbelief. "This is the man who's been stalking you. The one who broke into your flat. And you... you kissed him?"

"I said it was a mistake!" Saphy's voice cracks, and I have to fight the urge to go to her, to comfort her. "Please, Beth. I can't... I can't talk about this here. Not here."

"Saphy, wait…." I reach for her, desperate to salvage something from this moment, but Beth immediately steps forward.

"Don't you dare touch her again," she snarls. "Haven't you done enough damage?"

Saphy grabs Beth's arm, pulling her toward the alley entrance. "Let's go. Now."

"This isn't over," I call after them, my voice rough with frustration and unspent desire.

"Yes, it is," Saphy calls back without turning around.

But we both know it's not true. What happened in this alley changed everything between us, and there's no going back .

I watch them disappear into the street, leaving me alone in the alley with the taste of her still on my lips and the scent of her perfume lingering in the air.

The control I've prided myself on for years is completely shattered. And for the first time in my adult life, I don't know what my next move should be.

The frustration and rage build in my chest until I can't contain them anymore.

With a roar of fury, I drive my fist into the brick wall, welcoming the sharp pain that shoots up my arm.

The skin splits across my knuckles, blood welling immediately, but it's nothing compared to the ache in my chest. “FUCK,” I roar into the void of the now empty alley.

She kissed me back. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her. For those few precious minutes, she was mine completely.

And now she's gone, back to her safe little world, probably convinced this was all a mistake. But I know better. I felt the way she responded to me, tasted the desperation in her kiss. That kind of chemistry doesn't just disappear because you want it to.

This isn't over. Not by a long shot.

I examine my bleeding knuckles in the dim light from the street, already planning my next move. Saphy thinks she can go back to her boring life, pretend this never happened. But she's wrong.

She's mine now, whether she admits it or not. And I always get what's mine.

Always