Page 39

I gently brushed my hand against Maya’s lower back to gesture for her to walk ahead of me. The team headed down the sidewalk carefully, all of us bundled up against the cold and walking in pairs more to gossip than anything.

Everyone around us was chatting, but Maya and I didn’t say anything to each other. We walked in silence, only brushing against each other occasionally as we walked.

I’d definitely fucked up. Maya definitely thought I was some possessive asshole who wasn’t going to let her ever talk to anyone else. Maybe she thought that I’d intentionally called my parents down and set up for them to meet.

It was the least cool, least casual combination of events I could ever put upon someone who didn’t do commitment.

It was the exact opposite way of approaching winning her over.

Nothing about that was going to charm her.

I was surprised she hadn’t already thought of some way to get herself out of this.

Maybe she was waiting on a third strike. She was going to see if I did anything else stupid tonight and then make her decision based on that. By next week, I’d stop hearing from her completely, and then a few weeks from now, I’d run into her flirting with other people at parties.

Or it was too late for a third strike. There’d been so many other things I’d done today that I’d forgotten I’d accidentally almost kissed her on the lips publicly.

I winced. I was having a historically bad run. I didn’t even usually rag on myself like that when it came to dating—I knew I was hot and cool—but I felt like I really deserved it tonight .

I tried to think of something to ease the silence between us but I couldn’t think of anything. Everything I wanted to say felt like the dumbest thing imaginable.

Fortunately, we made it to the restaurant not much later.

We’d settled on the diner across the street.

Almost definitely, some of the girls had snuck in flasks to spike their coffees and juices, but it was the safest bet that wouldn’t make our coaches blow a fuse.

We only got so much unsupervised time during away games, and it was because I was good at keeping them on a tight leash.

As the team flooded inside, I grabbed Maya and held her outside with me. When GJ saw that we weren’t going in yet, she gave me a thumbs up and walked Iris along with the rest of the team.

The door swung shut, and quiet settled over us. Us not speaking to each other felt suddenly way more prominent—but it also gave me a second to collect my thoughts and think of something to say to her.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said, practically spitting the words out.

“For what?” Maya asked, sounding genuinely surprised. It was a relief that it didn’t seem like she’d been waiting for some kind of apology and explanation from me.

“Just…everything. I didn’t realize my parents were going to be there, I swear,” I said. “And then…”

The kiss from earlier lingered between the two of us. I thought back on how it felt to have her in my arms again. It’d been entirely by accident, but I wasn’t sure I completely regretted it.

“It’s okay,” she said.

“And I’m sorry for being weird about Mags. I’d pretend that didn’t happen, but I know it did. I’m not trying to be weird—”

Maya stood up on her toes and put her arms around my neck to kiss me.

It happened so quickly I didn’t realize what was happening until it was.

As soon as my brain processed her lips on mine, I pulled her in closer and deepened our kiss.

Even though it wasn’t our first kiss, it felt like the first one.

All of the others had been experimental or accidental or without thinking. But this was something else.

“It’s okay,” she said softly and casually as if she didn’t just make me weak at the knees. She dropped back down onto her heels but I let my hands linger on her waist. “I was weird about Allie.”

“Allie?”

“The hotel receptionist,” she admitted.

“Oh, she’s just a fan,” I said.

“That is really cute that you genuinely believe that.” She glanced inside. “I also don’t think you have to worry about Mags.”

“I know, she’s just always finding new ways of—”

“Oh, no. I believe that. I just meant I really don’t think you have to worry about her in that way,” she said and nodded inside .

I turned to look and spotted Mags sitting with Gemma. They were laughing together, leaning toward each other. They’d always been close—the teammates who were immediate best friends, always teasing each other and always in the same place. I’d thought of them as similar to me and GJ.

But looking at them through fresh eyes, I realized maybe Maya was onto something. They looked more like me and Maya than me and GJ.

“Oh,” I said, and Maya laughed.

She laced her fingers through mine. “Are we good?” she asked quietly. It was a simple question, a vague one, but it carried so much weight and uncertainty. I knew exactly what she was asking.

“Yeah, we’re good,” I said, and I resisted the urge to scoop her up into my arms again.

That was the most confirmation I’d gotten about her wanting anything of meaning with me.

I was willing to take it as slow as we needed to go, but I wasn’t going to pretend that it gave me a hope that maybe it wouldn’t take as long as I’d thought to win her over.

I looked at her and then back at the diner. “I’m not sure I’m that hungry, actually,” I said.

Maya’s eyes flickered with curiosity. “You know, I don’t think I am either.”

“Want to walk back with me?”

She nodded. “Yes. ”

Maya and I walked back to the hotel together and made it back to the room I was sharing with GJ before we heard anything from anyone. I was about to unlock the door when my phone buzzed.

“GJ texted,” I said and turned my phone so Maya could see. All she’d written was Where’d you go??

She snorted. “Iris texted me too. She was checking my location and could see that I was back at the hotel.”

“I’m sure they can tell what’s going on,” I said, and then my face flushed.

I didn’t like the implication of that, as if us walking back here meant that anything at all was going to happen.

I’d been thinking about it and the vibe was definitely there, but that didn’t mean anything.

We should probably try at least kissing in private for the first time before we aspire to more.

I unlocked the hotel room door and we stepped inside. Maya smiled as she looked over the room.

“I think I know which side is yours,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

She gestured to the two sides of the room. One was spotless and one was less so—clothes draped on any surface, the bed unmade, the suitcase half open on the floor with clothes hanging out.

I laughed. “Okay, fair enough.”

“Do you keep your room like this at your apartment, too, or is it a travel thing?”

“Everywhere. I’ve always been neat.”

Maya nodded and then, as if speaking to herself, said, “Hot. ”

My phone vibrated with another message from GJ: You have until curfew. Have fun you crazy kids.

I blushed, putting my phone face down on the desk near me. Maya was too busy looking at the room to notice.

I looked at her, just the two of us alone in the hotel room, and was suddenly hit by the reality of what we were doing. I could feel how badly I wanted her—it’d never been a secret—but now that we were here, it was like I’d never touched a woman before.

But maybe that was true to some extent. I’d never touched a woman like Maya before. I’d never liked someone this much before, never wanted someone this badly before. It really did feel like the first time.

Maya glanced at me, and the weight of us being alone in the same room as my bed settled in the silence between us.

She turned to look at me. “Do you want to kiss me or should I do it?”