Page 36

“Look, I’m going to be honest with you. I care about your well-being probably more than you care about your own.

If I didn’t think there was a chance Theo wanted you, and you doing all of this was setting yourself up for embarrassment, I wouldn’t agree to it.

I’m not just excited that you’re agreeing to go to games with me.

I’m doing all of this with you because I think you and Theo like each other and need a little bit of handholding to get there. ”

“I don’t need hand holding— “

“Dude, you like just finally admitted that you had a crush on her.”

I was quiet for a moment. “Okay, fair.”

“I’m going to shower, but no more spiraling out while I’m gone,” she said.

“Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled to myself. I rolled on my side and went on my phone, hoping I could distract myself from the crushing doubt that Theo might not actually be into me.

Because I was nothing if not predictable, my distraction from Theo ended up including more Theo.

She’d posted earlier today promoting the game and sharing new photos from practices and travel.

Her pictures were so casual—she didn’t take pictures of herself and usually just shared whatever the team photographer took of her.

In one shot, she was laughing with GJ on the court. Her face was lit up, her hair pulled into a ponytail. My heart ached looking it—the joy in her smile, the line of her jaw. It took everything in me to not trace my finger along my screen as if it replaced actually touching her.

Iris got out of the shower not much later, and I took her place in the bathroom, turning the water up as hot as I could handle to wash our road trip from my skin.

The entire time I was in the shower, Theo was floating around in the back of my mind.

She was mixed in there along with remembering I’d left a load of laundry in the dryer at my and Iris’s apartment, and that I needed to follow up with professors about graduate school recommendation letters.

I’d find myself thinking about where she’d fit into the schedule, thinking of stories I wanted to tell her, and questions I still wanted to ask her about herself.

When I got out, I toweled off my hair and body and then pulled on my softest pajamas. I curled up in the queen bed next to Iris’s and relished in the soft hotel sheets.

“I can’t believe how big these beds feel,” she said, practically making snow angels in her bed.

“I can come snuggle in next to you, make it feel a little smaller,” I teased.

“Absolutely not. One luxury to being single is that I sleep alone and always have the whole bed to myself,” Iris said. “That almost replaces the comforting caress of a man.”

“ Comforting caress of a man just gave me hives,“ I said, and Iris cackled.

I readjusted my pillow, and Iris shut the light off. “If you stay up all night spiraling out, I’ll know,” Iris warned, her voice traveling through the dark.

“I’m not going to,” I said, even though the odds of that were likely. I didn’t know what happened to my cool girl, emotionally detached demeanor, but I was missing it deeply. I didn’t even remember who I’d been before Theo.

Iris responded with a skeptical mhm before rolling over.

I laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling and playing out what the game might look like tomorrow.

And then I thought about how Allie—and other girls like her—were going to be there.

Jealousy zipped through me, tightening my stomach and making my heart race .

I nearly groaned. I couldn’t believe I’d become the kind of person who got worked up about things like that. Theo had never given any indication that she was seeing anyone else or was some kind of major player.

And even besides that, there was no reason to assume we’d be exclusive when all we’d done so far was kiss. Once. Modestly. And then never talked about it.

My phone vibrated from next to me, and I picked it up, turning my brightness all the way down so I didn’t disturb Iris.

It’s so weird knowing you’re here but not being able to see you , Theo wrote.

It was like she’d known I was thinking about her.

But then again, I thought about her all the time.

It wasn’t so much kismet as it was incredibly probable.

It would be harder for her to text me during a time when I wasn’t thinking about her.

I read the text again and then again, memorizing it so I could see it even when my eyes were closed.

I would say you should sneak out to see me, but I think that one coach would actually kill me , I wrote back.

He definitely would , she quickly wrote back. Her text bubbles popped up again, telling me she was sending a follow-up. He can’t stop me from saying something to you after the game tomorrow, though. Even just for a minute.

I’d take the minute , I wrote back without thinking. As soon as it sent, I realized how explicit that felt. “Oh my god,” I whisper-groaned to myself. I pressed my palms to my face as if Theo were able to see me. I had to be the most pathetic person alive.

My phone vibrated again, and I looked at it with one eye closed, scared to see what her response was.

I’d give it to you , she wrote back, and I suddenly felt a little better and a little less pathetic. It didn’t completely erase the feeling, though. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Maya .

I could hear her voice as I read her text, see her face as she said it. Maya. The way my name sounded in her low, steady voice. The way her lips turned up in a smile every time she hit the second a in my name.

My finger hovered over the text, debating on if I should react to it or not. I just wrote back Goodnight, Theo instead and left it at that.

When I put my phone down and closed my eyes, I imagined Theo in bed next to me, her arm draped over my waist.

Iris and I burned most of the next day away by driving into the nearest major city. The only item on our list was to get Iris something from Swig, which was tastier than I thought it would be. We wandered between thrift stores and bookstores until it was time to head back.

Theo and I stayed in touch as much as we could. We’d kept up a rhythm of texting on game days, usually up until the minute she couldn’t have her phone on her anymore at all. The team was kept busy, so I didn’t hear from her as much, but I appreciated that she tried.

Iris and I headed back to the hotel toward the late afternoon and got ready for the game. We pregamed lightly with canned mixed drinks we’d brought from home and then Ubered to the game, a whole six minutes down the road.

“There’s a good number of people here,” Iris said, sounding surprised when we pulled into the parking lot. “I knew the game was sold out, but I guess I didn’t imagine how hectic it’d feel.”

“Everyone’s coming to see Theo,” our driver said from the front seat. He looked at us through the rearview mirror. “I’m sure you guys already understand, though,” he said and nodded to our shirts.

“Do the games usually look like this?” Iris asked.

He shook his head. “The girls haven’t had decent odds of making it to the finals in years. People only come when there’s someone in town worth seeing.”

I looked around, trying to conceptualize what the parking lot usually looked like based on what he was saying.

I’d gotten so used to the buzz around Theo that I assumed every game looked like they did back home—almost overwhelmingly busy, every seat packed, everyone excited to be there.

The same energy had been carried over here.

But based on Iris’s expression, this wasn’t how things normally looked.

The driver pulled into the rideshare lane. “Enjoy the game, ladies.”

“Thank you,” Iris and I said in unison as we got out of the car.

I hugged my arms around myself. The arena here was smaller than back home, but seemed just as crowded .

“We get to sit in the normal seats this time, no student section,” Iris said as we approached the entrance. “I got us close to the court, though.”

“I’ll only accept courtside.”

Iris’s lips turned up in a smile. “I’m impressed you know what that means.”

“I’ve been working on it.”

We got our tickets scanned by a bored looking college student and then headed into the arena. It was laid out differently from back home, and the school colors were different here. But the number of Lakeside Green jerseys with the number 25 on the back was the same.

“I didn’t realize so many people traveled for away games,” I said.

“They usually don’t,” she said. “And these aren’t just Lakeside fans—they’re fans from everywhere. People love Theo. It doesn’t matter if she’s playing at home or not.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see,” Iris said and walked us to the entrance of our section. She followed the row numbers until she found our seats, about ten rows up from the court and right on the half-court line..

“These are good seats,” I said.

Iris playfully flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I have my ways,” she said.

I looked out over the crowd that was filing into their seats.

There was a mix of faces—families, older couples, college students.

Everyone looked so happy to be there. I’d never really been exposed to a community like this before outside of starting to go to basketball games.

It was sweet to see that Lakeside Green wasn’t unique.

The teams were still warming up on the court and I scanned through the team to find Theo. The whole team was warming up in matching outfits—long sleeve Coyotes t-shirts and matching athletic shorts. But then I spotted Theo, dribbling and shooting down the court.

She was so hot, even from a distance, that it made me sick.

I still had a hard time reconciling that she was the same person I was texting and talking to.

On the court, she felt almost larger than life.

The basketball player who argued with refs and threw elbows and kept beating record after record.

“There’s your girl,” Iris teased, nudging me with her shoulder.