Page 185 of Tied to You

I watch Dean take Grace from Mads then lift his arm for her.

Mads steps into him, and they walk back to the animals, some of the crying fading.

Rock. Dip. Bounce. Rock. Dip. Bounce. “Come on kid, enough of that.” He wails some more, his bottom lip quivering. Jesus. How much longer until he exhausts himself? “Shh, shh, shh.”

“Oh yeah, looking real scary, Prez.”

I look up, seeing Legs, giving him my middle finger as I continue my bounces. “Keep walking, shithead.”

He laughs. “Brought you a hotdog.” I curse him under my breath as he laughs some more, placing the food on the empty chair when I give him a nod. “I’ll leave you to it.” He turns.

“Wait,” I snap, looking down at Fin. He’s still fucking crying.

Legs turns back, waiting.

“Come on little man. Time to give it up.” I look up in the direction of Dean before lifting the corner of the muslin to Finlay’s face. I’m shocked when he takes a jittery breath, immediately calming down. “How are you doing?” I eventually ask Legs without looking up.

I slowly lower to my seat, my eyes refusing to leave the cargo in my arms as I lean back.

“I’m okay.”

“Just okay?”

After everything with Costa, Dean and Legs went through the most two years ago. Time can be mean, but it also can be a healer. He didn’t have anyone else. The club was all he had to fall back on. He never gives me any reason to, but it’s my job to worry about him.

“I’m good, Prez.”

I adjust Finlay in my arms and eventually look up, checking his expression.

“Honestly,” he laughs.

“Okay. Got everything set for Monday?”

He nods. “Yep. I’ll see Lauren off then head over. Jay might come back here with me if that’s alright with you?”

Of course he’s coming back. Lauren’s off to Uni soon. The boys are seeing her off with some of her friends, then we have business to see to. The fact he’s choosing Jay to help him proves Jay’s intentions. He’s desperate to get in. “I’ll think about it.”

He nods.

“Go on. Go enjoy yourself,” I tell him, quickly checking Fin.

“Oh, I will. Toddler mums are hot.”

“Thought you brought a girl here?” I look up, but he’s already walking away.

Jesus.

Sitting as still as I can, I realise Finlay’s fallen asleep in my arms, the muslin fully across his face. I peek another look, making sure he’sbreathing, then gently settle it back down. Resting my head back, I look to see if my hotdog’s in reach. It’s not. Bollocks. I chance a move to get it, but he only fidgets, a whimper escaping him.

It’s not worth it. How can something so small be so fucking terrifying?

I peek another look at him, seeing little bubbles on his lips from all the crying. My heart flutters. “Fuck. You’re cute, little man. I’ll give you that.” My voice is soft. Shallow. Nothing but admiration for my godson.

It makes me wish I hadn’t missed this with Riley. My boy’s growing up too fast. Thirteen going on thirty. Definitely gets his attitude from me, but he has a bloody heart of gold. That’s all Mollie. He’s not interested in girls just yet, thank God, just got a serious love for fast cars. I’m not saying I object, but a bike is where it’s at. I’m thinking about getting him a little 125cc to get him started.

If I’m allowed.

The smell of honey wafts in the breeze, and I know Mollie’s closing in. Checking Finlay again, I realise I’m probably being ridiculous. He’s still good. Still sleeping. Still breathing.