Page 112 of Tied to You

My lips pinch and I nod with a heavy heart. I lift my glass and down the clear, harsh liquid. “Still, must be hard for him.”

Her blue eyes dance between mine. “It is what it is.”

I give my shoulders a little lift. “Fair enough.”

Tanya leans forward, crossing her arms on the table. “Come on then. Tell me about you and Travis.” Her inquisitive blues draw me in.

“How do you mean?” I ask sceptically.

“Oh, don’t give me that. Iknowyou two are fucking left, right and bloody centre.” I throw her a look at her acknowledgment of Travis’ bedroom habits. “Sorry,” she then flusters. “But come on, spill. What’s next for you two?”

I shrug, perhaps a little defensively. “I don’t know.”

Tanya pouts her displeasure. “Really? Then, babe, you’ve got to talk to him. See where things are headed for you. Seriously. Nab him up now beforesomeone else tries their luck.”

“Like Sophie?” I quip.

Tanya rolls her eyes. “She hasn’t shown her face since they… you know.”

I nod. “Yeah, I know.”

“Shewasbesotted with him. But after he took her,” she holds out her hand, gesturing to me in an awkward manner, “well, I’m guessing it wasn’t what she thought it would be.”

“You haven’t heard from her?” Fuck, what if she’s not okay?

Tanya bows her head, scratching her forehead like she’s hiding from me. “We’ve text and spoke on the phone. She’s fine.” Then her head springs up and her eyes widen. She smiles broadly. “Oh, I see what you’re doing.”

“Damn it,” I laugh. I really was trying to steer her away from the topic of mine and Travis’ future.

We haven’t had a proper conversation yet. I mean, sure we’ve lived together for five months now, but we’ve only just moved into our own space. That seems pretty huge to me. “I’m twenty-two. There’s no rush.”

Her eyebrows hit her hairline.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Grabbing the bottle of Vodka, I twist off the cap, pouring myself another shot with some gusto. I wait for her to speak up. She doesn’t. “Oh, for the love of God, what? What is it?”

She licks her lips before they part. “I’m just saying, that, the guys here areclearlygetting into something deep. And, I’ve seen my fair share of what happens when they’re fuelled by club shit. Families, wives, girlfriends, kids… we’re their world, but their world isnotfor us. I’m lucky Chop’s getting out. But if you’re in, if it was me, I’d need to know our relationship was going somewhere.”

Jesus. A stark, compelling realisation hits me like a tonne of bricks. I told myself the night that Blackjack died, that if I grew attached to him or God forbid fell inlovewith him, it would be me that gets hurt.

Tanya’s right.

What we have is so much more than a hook up. Welivetogether. We have alifetogether. In six months I’ll be expected to return to my father, but everybody here knows I won’t be going. The year-long break has become my life. The space I want to be in the most. Some might say I’m wasting my lifeor that I’m throwing away my opportunities. But I don’t care. My happiness is what matters the most. And I get that with Travis, by being with Janette and Mick on the farm, and oddly by being here around the club.

Of course, on the contrary, I know in the deepest part of my soul that standing at a fridge door, downing Vodka at the mere mention of a family, isn’t normal. What if I’m not what he really wants at all? What if he’s not looking for the normal things that solidify a couples’ relationship? Marriage. Kids. I’m not sure I want those things, but with him I can see it clear as day. So perhaps Idowant those things?

My composure begins to splinter. My need to get out of here is suddenly desperate. I need air. I need to clear my head of my own thoughts before I end up ruining something that doesn’t need to be ruined.

Seeing Tanya move in my line of sight, my eyes look up, but I can’t process anything. I watch her lips part and hear the muffled noise of my name. Then she places a hand on my shoulder and gives me a shake. “Mollie?”

I hear her clearer this time. “Yeah?” My eyes blink confused and dazed. The thought of me having to return home and this all being one giant mistake makes my skin burning hot once again. Prickles dance across the back of my neck as I take a deep inhale.

“You’re wanted.”

Dragging my eyes to hers, I then look to the top of the stairs. Rocco’s standing there, a face like a slapped arse. “What?” I say, my voice wary and still not altogether with it.