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Colin

Two years later.

T here are some moments you’ll never forget.

Like whenever I had a nightmare and my mum would let me sleep beside her or when I was being bullied at school and Graeme walked with me every day just to make sure no one would mess with me or when I finally beat Bryce while playing video games and he tried to act like he hadn’t let me win or when my father taught me how to kick and how proud and happy he looked when I did it for the first time. Or last night, when Ellie and I were tangled in bed together, and we somehow stumbled onto the topic of marriage. She didn’t even hesitate when she said she would marry me one day. My heart swells just thinking about it.

If I’m being honest, I’ve thought about marrying her before. Plenty of times in fact, but we’re not there yet. We’ve only just agreed to move into together after all, but the right time for that will come soon enough.

Ellie finished her bachelor’s degree at Armitage top of her class and recently started her honours in English as well. She’s also been doing what she loves the most; writing books. Her debut novel, the one she’d been working on for years before we even met, was so successful (after I finally convinced her it was perfect and that she should publish it independently), that a publishing house picked up the rights to print it last year. Since then, she’s written another book in the series which was released earlier this year to rave reviews and is currently working on the third. Honestly, I don’t know how she finds the time with everything else she’s doing. I’ll never forget the day when the author's copy of her first book arrived. She cried when she held it, but also smiled so wide at that I’m sure her cheeks hurt for the rest of the day.

It’s what I’ve always wanted for her and for us; to be successful and to do it together.

My own career has been nothing short of a fever dream in terms of how well it’s gone. Over the last three years, we’ve won most of our games and we’ve lost a few as well, but I never fail to make an impression on the field or to play my heart out. The fact that I’ve been compared to some of the greatest rugby players in existence and that some people already think I’ll be remembered alongside them seems completely surreal to me.

I finish lacing up my boots and grab my jersey still hanging on the coat hanger in my cubby. I glance down at it, my thumbs brushing over the pristine white material and tracing over the famous red rose crest sewn into the top right-hand side of the chest. It’s not the first time I’ve worn England’s international rugby uniform, but it’s the first time I’ve worn it in a World Cup match.

My first one ever.

I smile to myself as I flip over the shirt, seeing the number ‘15’ etched into the material along with the first letter of my name followed by my surname. I draw a deep breath in through my nose .

Whether we win or lose, this will be another day I’ll never forget.

“You ready?”

I feel a shoulder bump into mine and I look to my right, seeing Bryce sitting next to me, fully dressed and with a fire to win already burning in his eyes.

“I’ve been ready for years,” I reply easily.

“Good.”

My eyes snap up to Graeme who’s standing in front of me now with his arms folded across his chest. He grins broadly, exuding pride and steadiness befitting the role of a Captain.

“You’ve earned this, Col.” He tells me.

My mouth stretches with a huge smile as well.

We all have.

We were just kids when we started playing rugby, but every single one of us had a dream and while the expectations of those dreams may have changed along the way, our determination has never wavered. Whether it was wanting to play the game at the highest level like my brothers and I or only wanting to play it at club level like Mace or simply playing it for fun like Kai does these days, we all had ambitions and goals and we’ve seen them through. We can all be proud of ourselves for never giving up even when we had the chance. There was a time when my father probably feared that we wouldn’t get here, but we did.

We’ve persevered and none of us changed who we are on the inside to do it either. Even if we don’t win this match or lift the Rugby World Cup weeks from now, we’ll wake up tomorrow knowing that there’ll be other opportunities. That we’ll still have each other through thick and thin. No matter what. Knowing that I played in my first rugby World Cup will be enough. More than eno ugh. It’s another dream I’ve achieved on a long list of dreams still to come.

Besides, it’s not like this will be the only World Cup I’ll play in. Not if I can help it.

The call is made for us to leave the changing rooms and I tug my jersey on over my head, getting to my feet and following my brothers and my fellow teammates out into the tunnel. We form a straight line, standing shoulder to shoulder with Ireland’s international team; our opponents for the evening. Graeme stands at the front, ready to lead us out. Noise from the stadium drifts down the tunnel and the hairs on my arms stand on end. My heart pounds and I swallow the clutch of nerves sitting in my throat. I take a breath, equal parts excited and terrified.

An official standing just ahead signals for both teams to start walking towards the exit.

This is it.

A voice over the loudspeakers announces us to the cheering crowd as we all break out into a jog, rushing onto the field at Aviva Stadium in Dublin. ‘Zombie’ by The Cranberries blares all around us and the fans go absolutely wild, the sound, louder than any I’ve ever heard before, hitting me right in the centre of my chest. I feel eyes on me everywhere, the heat from the floodlights on my skin and that familiar jolt of electricity coursing down my spine as we take our positions on the field. England won the coin toss earlier so it’s our kick off and as the remaining seconds slowly wind down to the start of the game, I lift my eyes like I always do, searching for her. She’s in a private box tonight, sitting with my parents, her mum, her little brother and her two best friends. She’s a fair distance away, so I can’t see her through the windows, but I can feel her watching.

Ellie.

Of all the eyes on me tonight, hers are the only ones that truly matter.

My body shivers, thinking of all the things I’ll get to do when I have her to myself later.

I know I’m looking right at her when I feel that invisible tether between us, charging me with strength. It steadies me. Feuling me and grounding me at the same time. It’s how she always makes me feel and I count my lucky stars that get to have that. That I get to have her every hour of every day and night. I have no idea what will happen to us in the future or where we’ll end up ten or even forty years from now. Part of me doesn’t want to know. I like surprises and more importantly, I like experiencing them with her. Whatever the next ones are, we’ll handle them together.

I love her and she loves me.

Our lives wouldn’t be the same without each other.

Whether we’re in a room together or on opposite sides of the planet, something always binds us. If she moves into a crowded space, something deep inside me feels it and finds her again. If I think about her on another continent, something buried in the back of her mind knows that I am.

She affects me, I affect her.

We’re still young and we have our whole lives ahead of us. The here and the now and all the moments we’ve shared and will make along the way; those are what we live for. Right now, I can feel her smiling at me and my chest expands with every inexplicable thing she makes me feel.

My beautiful, brilliant girl .

My mouth curls with a smirk and I don’t take my eyes off her, not until I hear the starting whistle blow.

THE END